Engagement Party vs. Jack and Jill Shower
Hi Everyone
I have never wanted a traditional bridal shower and have been very clear with my family and bridesmaids about not wanting one at any point this year (Wedding dates is set for 12/29/12).
However, what I have askedmy family and bridesmaids to do instead of a shower is an event for our inner circle of friends and family members (both men and women) on our invite list...just not sure whether to call it an engagement party or Jack and Jill Shower. We want the event to have the following elements:
1. Be at a restaurant- Cocktail hour, hor d'hovres, unstructured with a thank you toast or two
2. Be an event where friends and family from both NYC and CT can meet for the first time and get to know each other
3. An opportunity for guest to give us a shower/engagement gift ( we would include our registry on the invite)
4. Not be a traditional girls only "lets play shower games" or watch the bride open her new blender/toaster etc. type of event. We would open the gifts at a later time, just not during the event
5. Happen sometime in September after the summer months but not too close to the actual wedding date
We really want to include everyone in our celebration as much as possible, however are a little stumped with what to call it.
My MOH is afraid that any mention of "Shower" will turn the men off from coming and my concern is that if we call it an Engagement Party is that guests may decline thinking that there may be a formal shower coming up closer to the wedding date.
Thoughts? Or has anyone done an event similar to this?
Thanks
T
Re: Engagement Party vs. Jack and Jill Shower
FWIW, I hope you are not asking your family/friends to throw you this party, but instead they have offered, right? It would be tacky to ask for a party and demand that it include and not include certain elements. Just my $0.02.
[QUOTE]Isn't a Jack & Jill shower the same thing as a co-ed shower? I would label it as such since an engagment party usually does NOT include gifts. FWIW, I hope you are not asking your family/friends to throw you this party, but instead they have offered, right? It would be tacky to ask for a party and demand that it include and not include certain elements. Just my $0.02.
Posted by mamahappy[/QUOTE]
<em>Especially</em> the part about it needing to be in a restaurant. That can seriously up the cost of a shower.
Hi
Thanks everyone.
To clarify, I am not asking/demanding that anyone do anything for me. They have offered and wanted to know what I would like for a shower etc.
I've never heard the co-ed term used but like it
[QUOTE]Hi Thanks everyone. To clarify, I am not asking/demanding that anyone do anything for me. They have offered and wanted to know what I would like for a shower etc.
Posted by 8558Tara[/QUOTE]
Okay, good, just checkin'. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
[QUOTE]Hi Thanks everyone. To clarify, I am not asking/demanding that anyone do anything for me. They have offered and wanted to know what I would like for a shower etc. I've never heard the co-ed term used but like it
Posted by 8558Tara[/QUOTE]
Jack and Jill parties are often fund-raisers, so you wouldn't want to use that term in case your guests know what that means OR if they go to Google and think you're going to be selling them drink tickets to pay for their wedding.
Co-ed shower= winning label!
[QUOTE]Isn't a Jack & Jill shower the same thing as a co-ed shower? I would label it as such since an engagment party usually does NOT include gifts.
Posted by mamahappy[/QUOTE]
Depends on region it seems. Some people define J&J as a co-ed shower and others define it as an open wallet event where there is ticket selling and the B&G are given the money. The other title we see is Stag and Doe. The second definition seems to be the more common definition on the boards.
If you call it a co-ed shower, it will be very clear.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Party vs. Jack and Jill Shower : Jack and Jill parties are often fund-raisers, so you wouldn't want to use that term in case your guests know what that means OR if they go to Google and think you're going to be selling them drink tickets to pay for their wedding. Co-ed shower= winning label!
Posted by pearlaqua[/QUOTE]
Where I'm from/in my circle, a Jack and Jill is always just a co-ed shower. No one would think it was a fundraiser.
OP, I like the idea, but if it's going to be a shower with registry information included, I would open gifts in person. With you and your FI, it will go quickly. If you don't include the registry information and call it something else, then no gift-opening necessary.
40/112
My FI and I attended a co-ed baby shower this weekend and had a blast! It was moctails & coctails themed. It was really like a regular adult party with apps and finger foods and moctails/coctails. Presents were opened at the event, but the girls gathered for that and the guys stood on the outskirts of that and watched/chit chatted. We had a great time. I think you could easily do the same for a co-ed bridal shower. No cheesy games, just a good time getitng together with loved ones. I'd call it s co-ed shower and open gifts at the event since older guests will expect that and it's sorta the point of the shower.