How to ask...

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5376abb9-99b0-4bd5-acdf-fb935b7fed09Post:925ddbea-d679-44b0-934c-b2e84411485a">Re: How to ask...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks again for your helpful post, misssunshine.  It's sad that you come on to the knot to vent and get helpful ideas where I have to turn around to my fiance and vent about how upsetting this was.  This may be a bad idea, and I may be completely wrong which it sure sounds like I am... there are nicer ways to go about this though.
Posted by BeamingBride22Be[/QUOTE]

You are upset because we said no to your idea. We supported that no with (a) how the women's feelings would be hurt, and (b) how the three kids could be accommodated without offending people. Sorry that the truth and explanations of reality upset you. Get over it. Your idea is not a good idea. Sorry.

Summer2011Bride

Should you care if they're offended? Um, probably. Unless you just want to be a jerk on purpose to people.

If you only have 3 well-behaved children who, most of the time will be out enjoying the reception, why exactly do you need childcare at all?

allychase

Um if you're paying someone to work at your wedding they would be considered a vendor. Are you sending STDs to your DJ or florist? STD equals invite. I'm sure they will all live just fine without your magnet on their fridge. If I received an STD to a wedding I wanted to attend and then was told I wasn't actually invited, as the STD suggested, but was asked to WORK the wedding...? Yeah no, I would be offended and not go. So if you choose to ignore the good advice you receive here then fine, but please let us know their reactions when you dangle an invite in front of their face then pull it out from under them.

RamonaFlowers

What I'm confused about is you don't want to invite these people because you're not close with them ... but you want to pay for them to be at your wedding. Um, what? Why would you want to pay extra for a guest that you don't even want there?

There's nothing wrong with just not inviting somebody if you're not that close with them. There's a lot wrong with trying to pass off a babysitting job as some kind of "invitation"

Sharpschruter22

If this isn't MUD all of my hope in humanity is now lost.

MsYeck

it isn't that complicaed you don'r send these ladies and STD or talk wedding in front of them and chose between one of these options:
1. have the parents of the children watch them, if they are bell-behaved like you say this should not be a problem
2. Ask ONE lady to watch these 3 children and offer to pay her just as you would any other vendor. If they say anything about just going as a guest and be honest and say that due to space/budget/ect constraints you cannot.
3. Hire ONE third-party from a sitting service, then you dontt have to deal with the drama

BeamingBride22Be

Ok, I will not send these ladies an STD. Thank you.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5376abb9-99b0-4bd5-acdf-fb935b7fed09Post:57982d0d-12cf-4272-8635-e6e89a89fdc6">Re: How to ask...</a>:
[QUOTE]Used to work with.... *used* to work with.  I do not still work with them.  I feel like I am not getting very good help and advice because 1) You all aren't reading my post.  2) I am only being put down and told I am a terrible person.  We aren't discussing it like I thought we could.  Isn't this a place brides can come for help, not to be put down.  I thought I would try getting good advice, because I am really in a tough spot but this only makes me dissapointed with the knot.  Thanks for all of your opinions, it was my fault for asking.
Posted by BeamingBride22Be[/QUOTE]
Oh, FFS.  GROW UP.  If you've read this thread and think that you are "only being put down and told [you] are a terrible person] then you have the reading comprehension skills of a gnat.  You've gotten excellent advice here. 

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5376abb9-99b0-4bd5-acdf-fb935b7fed09Post:57982d0d-12cf-4272-8635-e6e89a89fdc6">Re: How to ask...</a>:
[QUOTE]Used to work with.... *used* to work with.  I do not still work with them.  I feel like I am not getting very good help and advice because 1) You all aren't reading my post.  2) I am only being put down and told I am a terrible person.  We aren't discussing it like I thought we could.  Isn't this a place brides can come for help, not to be put down.  I thought I would try getting good advice, because I am really in a tough spot but this only makes me dissapointed with the knot.  Thanks for all of your opinions, it was my fault for asking.
Posted by BeamingBride22Be[/QUOTE]
And yet you wrote in your very first post: "I used to work as an afterschool teacher and the ladies I work with would always talk about being invited to our wedding and how they want to come."

YOU said "ladies I work with," not "ladies I worked with."  Rather than whining about us not reading your posts maybe you should be more careful about what you write.

[Deleted User]

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA.

There you go. Is that what you wanted?

BeamingBride22Be

Ouch, I'm really sorry I have made all of you upset with me.  I just wanted to update you all and let you know that the ladies were THRILLED to be a part of the wedding and help out with nursery!  That makes me feel so good knowing that I can trust those who will be watching those children periodically throughout the night!  Since their response was so different from what you all said it would be, I'm not so sure I shouldn't give them a STD... Hmmm.....

So to all you knotties out there that get bombarded by rude comments, just know that they definitely arent always right... and sometimes not even close.

Happy Planning!