Second Reception Etiquette...?

ayungwi1

Hi everyone,

I am from Wisconsin but getting married in Nebraska, so we decided to have a second reception in Wisconsin a couple weeks after the wedding.  Many of the people invited to this second reception were not invited to the wedding for various reasons.

The question is: would it be tacky/rude to include wedding registry information in the second reception invitation?

Thanks!

Sing2phins

Well, since you're not supposed to includeregistry information on any invitations anyway, I'm going to go with YES.

vicki0508

The only people who should be invited to the Wisconsin reception should be guests who were invited, but unable to come to the Nebraska wedding.  Inviting guests to the reception but not to the ceremony appears gift grabby. 

So, yes it is incredibly tacky to include registry information on an invitation, and it's even tackier when those guests weren't invited to the ceremony.

Why aren't you inviting everyone to the ceremony?

millkn2

Well first of all you should not have a second reception. Next, it is rude to invite those guests to the 2nd reception and not the wedding. And finally it would be horribly rude to include wedding registry information in the second reception invitation. Basically do not do any of that!!!

jess9802

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-reception-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53c734bf-c1ff-4e2f-beef-86d6aad5a7c1Post:639e75fc-a4f8-4fb1-8be0-33628a1fccdd">Second Reception Etiquette...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, I am from Wisconsin but getting married in Nebraska, so we decided to have a second reception in Wisconsin a couple weeks after the wedding.  Many of the people invited to this second reception were not invited to the wedding for various reasons. The question is: would it be tacky/rude to include wedding registry information in the second reception invitation? Thanks!
Posted by ayungwi1[/QUOTE]

Yes, it's rude. And you shouldn't include that information in the actual wedding invitations, either.

Sing2phins

Why in the world would you want to celebrate your marriage with people who weren't invited to the actual wedding "for various reasons"?  If this is a, "Well, we know they won't travel, so we're not inviting them," that's dumb.  A lot of people use weddings as an excuse to get together with family they haven't seen in a long time.  If they are importany enough to be invited to a reception, you should invite them to the wedding and let them make their own decisions about whether or not they can come - don't take that decision out of their hands.

ootmother2

It's poor etiquette to include registry info in any wedding invitation

AND

The second reception for guests who were not invited to the wedding is also poor etiquette

next?

Brandiewine11

You should not invite people to a reception for a wedding they were not invited to. It's very rude. It basically says "you are good enough to give us a gift but not to come to our wedding." Also, no registry info should be included on any invitations as that says a gift is expected - I'd say that rule goes double for a reception of this type.

ayungwi1

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your feedback.
Just wanted to clarify a couple things.
First of all, we are having a very small ceremony in Nebraska with only immediate family, and the second reception is for extended family.
Second of all, the only people who are invited to both the wedding and the second reception are my immediate family and those in the bridal party.
Lastly, I did not include the registry information with the wedding invitation, since I have heard that that is definitely bad form!

Thanks again for all your advice, and I definitely won't put the registry information in with the second reception initation!

millkn2

I still do not think you should invite people to a second reception, when they are not inviting to the wedding. Small wedding = small reception and small # of gifts.

Brandiewine11

I'm sorry, but just because you wish it to be ok, doesn't make it so :-( It's still rude.

ayungwi1

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your responses.  I think I will pare down the second reception invite list, so that I can invite those people to the wedding, as well.  It's really not about the gifts for me, but about seeing family I haven't in so long!  I really didn't realize that our plans for a second recpeiton were rude, so thanks for sharing your insight.  We're having a handfasting ceremony at the second reception, so if people can come to both, then they can see both sets of vows!

Thanks again!

SilverLining1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-reception-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53c734bf-c1ff-4e2f-beef-86d6aad5a7c1Post:71b9e86e-ffb8-42fb-866a-54cf2a3b83dc">Re: Second Reception Etiquette...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, Thanks so much for your responses.  I think I will pare down the second reception invite list, so that I can invite those people to the wedding, as well.  It's really not about the gifts for me, but about seeing family I haven't in so long!  I really didn't realize that our plans for a second recpeiton were rude, so thanks for sharing your insight.  We're having a handfasting ceremony at the second reception, so if people can come to both, then they can see both sets of vows! Thanks again!
Posted by ayungwi1[/QUOTE]

<div>Don't you just love when people do the right thing? Definitely a good call :)</div>

ayungwi1

Yeah!  Gotta love it!    And thanks.
I just really didn't realize my poor decision.  Couldn't have done it with out your girls!

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-reception-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:53c734bf-c1ff-4e2f-beef-86d6aad5a7c1Post:7ee52a12-b809-4099-af5f-f618876074ee">Re: Second Reception Etiquette...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah!  Gotta love it!  :D  And thanks. I just really didn't realize my poor decision.  Couldn't have done it with out your girls!
Posted by ayungwi1[/QUOTE]

OMG!

A thank you and no pouting!

OP, come back soon, please!

ayungwi1

Ok, and since I'm new to the boards...  What does OP stand for?

Thanks!

thesequel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-reception-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53c734bf-c1ff-4e2f-beef-86d6aad5a7c1Post:1722d71d-a55c-4a81-9ccc-fcc841ae9528">Re: Second Reception Etiquette...?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's poor etiquette to include registry info in any wedding invitation AND The second reception for guests who were not invited to the wedding is also poor etiquette next?
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>Listen to OOT - she is wise. :)</div><div>
<div>Yes it is incredibly tacky.  Basically you are telling your guests that they are not special enough to come watch you get married but special enough to buy you a gift!</div></div>

thesequel

OP = Opening Poster

The Chit Chat board FAQs has a list of the acronyms.  

Good luck!

[Deleted User]

I love it when posts go like this.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-reception-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53c734bf-c1ff-4e2f-beef-86d6aad5a7c1Post:7807f944-f503-43cf-b41f-f243af6c67c8">Re: Second Reception Etiquette...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, Thanks for your feedback. Just wanted to clarify a couple things. <strong>First of all, we are having a very small ceremony in Nebraska with only immediate family</strong>, and the second reception is for extended family. Second of all, the only people who are invited to both the wedding and the second reception are my immediate family and those in the bridal party. Lastly, I did not include the registry information with the wedding invitation, since I have heard that that is definitely bad form! Thanks again for all your advice, and I definitely won't put the registry information in with the second reception initation!
Posted by ayungwi1[/QUOTE]

So then small wedding = you have a small reception and not a second party. Done.