Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP for Ceremony and Reception

Is it rude or tacky to have 2 separate lines on the invites so guests can RSVP for the ceremony and then the reception?  Would people RSVP for both and then still only come to the reception?

The church where my FI and I are getting married actually has 2 churches: the Little Church, which is smaller, older church (it's actually a historic landmark) and only used for special occasions and the main church where Saturday and Sunday mass is held, where all the offices are, etc.  I would prefer to get married in the Little Church since it's more intimate and I love old, historic things.  But, it only holds 130 people and we are inviting 300 people.  The main church will hold everyone just fine. 

It's going to be a Catholic ceremony (with that dreaded gap =/ ) and my priest said that only half of my guests will actually come to the ceremony.  I'm led to believe that it will probably be ok, but I don't want to risk having more people show up than there is room for - as everyone will be invited to both events.  Therefore, I would really like to know how many people will actually come to the ceremony so I can determine which church I should use.

If this question has already been asked, please point me to the thread.  I tried searching for it, but gave up.

Re: RSVP for Ceremony and Reception

  • I honestly don't think 150 will skip a wedding ceremony, Catholic mass or not.

    Expect to use the bigger church.
  • Sorry, you have to count on 100% attendance. Can you still take some photos in the smaller church before or after the ceremony?
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  • I would prepare for 100% attendance. The difference between 130 and 300 is just way too big to take a risk like that. It's possible you'll only get 50% attendance for the ceremony, but even that would put you over 130 ppl. 

    How will everyone know it's a Catholic Mass, anyway? Do you print that on the invitation or is it implied because there is a gap? Every Catholic wedding I've been to, Mass or not, had a gap so it really didn't make a difference.

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  • You cannot assume you will only have 50% attendance. Plan on using the bigger church. I would not have two separate RSVPs on the invitation. It would make me wonder, as a guest, if you really wanted me at the ceremony in the first place. Sorry.
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  • RunsWithBearsRunsWithBears member
    10 Comments
    edited February 2012
    So I can actually change which church we are using up until a week before the wedding and the chruches are right across the street from each other so I'm don't think it'd be too hard to change after the invites go out.  But if you do think that's too much, I'll just plan for the big church.

    Edit: I typed this while everyone was responding.  Thanks all for your help.  I'll just plan on using the big church!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f06bf6-a330-4105-9545-4be889549583Post:22a3c4b5-9455-47fb-af3e-4cf2bc9fa270">Re: RSVP for Ceremony and Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]You cannot assume you will only have 50% attendance. Plan on using the bigger church. I would not have two separate RSVPs on the invitation. I<strong>t would make me wonder, as a guest, if you really wanted me at the ceremony in the first place. Sorry.</strong>
    Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, that's what I was worried about. I don't want anyone to feel like I don't want them there.
  • I would definitely use the bigger church.  I think a lot more people will come to the ceremony than you think.  We're having a Catholic wedding as well.  Our mass starts at 1pm and instead of having a gap we are going straight to the reception for heavy hors d'ouvres, beer/wine and dancing.  No big fancy meal - a real budget saver!!!  Something you could consider, unless you're really set on having a sit-down dinner. 
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  • kwilliams, first of all you and your fi are positively ADORABLE!  Second, on behalf of you guests, thank you for not having the gap.  I'm sure your wedding and marriage will be lovely.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f06bf6-a330-4105-9545-4be889549583Post:947a0858-678f-4dec-8f01-07e82483669a">Re: RSVP for Ceremony and Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]kwilliams, first of all you and your fi are positively ADORABLE!  Second, on behalf of you guests, thank you for not having the gap.  I'm sure your wedding and marriage will be lovely.
    Posted by pgcp[/QUOTE]

    Thanks so much, pgcp.  You're quite lovely yourself!  I couldn't make myself do the gap.  Gotta keep the party rollin' =) 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:53f06bf6-a330-4105-9545-4be889549583Post:7eaff02f-875b-4c4d-a146-40a0f1313de2">Re: RSVP for Ceremony and Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bubs - usually if the wedding is a full mass you put it on the invitation.  Like:  Request the honor of your presence at the Nuptial Mass of X and X. 
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Ah! Thank you. I have never seen that before. I learned something today. :)</div><div>

    </div>
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  • I actually skipped one of my friend's wedding ceremony since there was a 3.5 hour gap.  I know at least one other person who did and there were 250 guests.  I'm sure there were more than just the two of us.  So, if you can skip the gap, that would be best.  But, I agree with everyone to plan on using the big church.  You're not going to have over half your guest list skip the ceremony.
  • I'm curious as to what you're planning to print on the invitations with regard to location.

    ...
    At one of the following two houses of worship
    [Church #1 and address]
    [Church #2 and address]

    ?
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