Wedding Etiquette Forum

If you were a BM...

If you were a BM what would you want as your thank you gift?     I'm out of ideas, got any good ones?
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Re: If you were a BM...

  • That is a great question!  I would honestly want some kind of pretty jewelry to wear at the wedding.  A lot of people on here say that is a big no-no, but I don't have nice jewelry. 
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  • Well everyone is going to say shop for them like it's their birthday, lol.   I bought them the jewelry to wear for the wedding, and then I'm going to get them a cute little purse or jewelry wrap or something, not the same one for each BM, (i'm going to a thirty-one party soon, hopefully can find something there).  Also, I'm looking for something specific to each of them to put in there - like a gift card to their favorite store or something.  I got my junior bridesmaid a nice compact mirror w/a rhinestone heart on it and her name engraved.
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  • Brie2010Brie2010 member
    5000 Comments
    edited July 2010
    I would want something personal to me, not something generic that was bought to match the other BMs.

    All my BMs got unique gifts suited to their interests/lives.  Buy like you would for their birthday.
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  • I would like something that was personal, something that you would have bought me if it was my birthday, and not a wedding. Something like a spa gift card, any kind of jewelry, a cute purse, a gift card to my favorite store, wine, I would love all of that.

    I think looking at the gifts individually, and not trying to get all of your girls the same thing is the best way to go.
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  • I would buy something that they would use-- and I wouldn't worry about them being the same. Like if one person liked jewelry, and other photography, and another liked drinking, I would spend about the same on each and get them something they like-- or you could go with giving them the same gift-- jewerly box, jewery, photo frames, key chains, etc
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  • If you have a had time thinking about "what to do if its their birthday" maybe think of a category to do and personalize it for each girl.  I think the best thing to do is to avoid getting them all the same thing - because they are different right? 

    I got mine each a book picked out just for them and a pair of earrings that I picked out for them.  It was hard to do but I'm happy about it.
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  • something that shows the bride put some thought into it. my favorite BM gifts were a) a cross my sister got that matched my apartment decor, and I still use it in my guest bedroom, and b) a picture of me and my best friend (the bride) in a frame with a note about our friendship; she also included some small items that were inside jokes.

    for my BMs, I did what andy suggested: pick a category (in my case, it was jewelry) and choose something within the category for each person that is inidvidual.
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  • I got my girls monogrammed LL Bean Boat and tote bags in colors I knew they'd each like ( I got married in the UK, so these also doubled as their carry-ons) and put inside a cashmere pashmina for each girl, Crabtree hand creme in a scent they'd each like, a gift card for a mani/pedi (not to be used for my wedding), a necklace I thought they'd each like (but did not have to wear for the wedding), a handknit scarf/hat set I made for each of them, wine charms I made for each of them, and some other little things, like Yankee Candles, coach writstlets (outlet!), etc...

    They traveled to the UK for my wedding, so I spent a lot, more than $250 for each of the 4 girls, but I also had my date set way in advance, and so I shopped over time, when I found great sales and promotions, adding stuff to the bags.
  • edited July 2010
    What I would not want:  Flip flops, body lotion, tote bags (I just don't get the tote bag obsession.  Who doesn't already own their needed number of tote bags?), t-shirts that say "bridesmaid",  Coach wristlets or Vera Bradley stuff, anything engraved with your wedding date, jewelry to wear at your wedding. 

    What I would LOVE:  Gift cards to my favorite stores or restaurants, something thoughtful related to my particular hobbies, a nice lunch out with you, books from my favorite authors, magazine subscriptions, nice personal items like high end makeup brushes or a cashmere scarf. 

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  • edited July 2010
    Like Knittibell, many of my BMs will be flying to my wedding (I come from Oregon but now live with my FI in Atlanta, GA), so I don't want to burden them with bulky gifts or booze/perfume that can't go back on the plane with them. 

    I also plan on putting together a tote or other re-usable bag kit for my girls, full of useful goodies for the ceremony (floss, bandaids, bobby pins, etc) as well as feel good items like chocolates, gift cards/jewelry/trinkets catered to their individual tastes and personalities, and perhaps some home-baked cookies as a goodwill gesture since they all know how much I love slaving away in the kitchen for my friends. 
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  • A day at the spa! Anything to do with mani/pedi, massage, mud bath, any of that kind of stuff. I've only had one mani/pedi my whole life, and I can't WAIT until my new job starts, where I'll have some money to FINALLY spoil my self once in a while!
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  • Personally, all three times I have been a BM... twice as a MOH, we got jewelry for the wedding, all matching, and I love it. We each got a little something else.. one girl gave us the jewelry in boxes engraved with our names, plus some other goodies... one girl paid for our nails/massages the day before the wedding, and one girl just got us the necklaces... either way, I loved each gift, and was totally appreciative of the gesture.

    As far as matching jewelry intended for the wedding goes, I am actually a huge fan. I have jewelry that i wear each day still, and when I wear it I remember how I got it and how much fun we had, plus its a nice thought that even though the BMs may have not known each other before, they have bonded by now, and share the jewelry to prove it!
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