Wedding Etiquette Forum

Singles w/out a plus one

Hi there, The majority of our friends that we are inviting to the wedding are in relationships or married so they will all be invited as couples. I have two friends who are not in relationships and these particular friends will not know anyone at the wedding so I thought I would invite them with a plus one to make them feel more comfortable at the wedding. However, I have several (12 to be exact) cousins who are not in serious relationships, assuming they are still not in relationships at invite time is it ok to invite these cousins without a plus one even though I am inviting two friends with a plus one? My rationale behind this is that my friends don't know anybody (except for myself and my fiance) at the wedding but my cousins will know each other and all of their siblings, moms, dads, aunts, uncles etc will also be at the wedding. Also, in case it matters all of the single cousins are over the age of 21 so they aren't high school kids they are adults. If any of the cousins end up in a serious relationship by invite time we will absolutely invite them with their new SO. What do you guys think?
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Singles w/out a plus one

  • There's no difference between a serious relationship and a regular relationship.  If any of your cousins have a boyfriend at the time, you'll have to invite them.  If they aren't in a relationship, you don't need to give them a plus one.  It's nice of you to offer a plus one to your friends who won't know anyone.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_singles-wout-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:546295e3-6ae2-40a6-8fe3-7dc6c1e12f41Post:b2f8a30c-ca4d-4660-ae03-95b6fe1995ae">Re: Singles w/out a plus one</a>:
    [QUOTE]The 'seriousness' of their relationship has nothing to do with anything.  My H and I were 'serious' after a week.  If they're in a relationship, give them a plus one.  If you can swing it, I honestly would give all of them a plus one.  I was invited to my cousin's wedding without a plus one and I didn't go.  Would I have known other family?  Yes.  Was I comfortable driving at night to the part of town where her reception was?  No.  At 25, did I want to go with my mom and dad?  Not a chance.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, it really doesn't matter how serious their relationship is. If they are in one I will invite the new SO. I am toying with the idea of inviting them all with a plus one anyway because I doubt most of them if any will actually bring a plus one. Lucky for us our venue is large so space really isn't an issue for us, if all 12 of them did bring their plus one we would be able to pay for it. Although saving $1000-$15000 would be nice if we didn't have to pay for the extra 12 people!</div>
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I say you can invite friends with plus one and cousins without...I think when she says serious she may mean longer then a year, engaged, marries, living together.  I know that if I had a cousin who had a boyfriend for a month, I wouldn't invite them. 
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_singles-wout-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:546295e3-6ae2-40a6-8fe3-7dc6c1e12f41Post:a5af3587-546a-4bdf-bfcb-37690fbf9b2b">Re: Singles w/out a plus one</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Singles w/out a plus one : And you would be going against etiquette.  If someone has a bf or gf at the time the invitations go out, they need to be invited together, by name.  It doesn't matter if it is 1 week or 10 years, they are a social unit.
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]
    Would you really invite someone who has a so called boyfriend for one week by name and then when they break up before the wedding that said boyfriend can still come because they were invited by name...not me I'd go plus one on a one week relationship
    Anniversary
  • Ah more of the I wouldn't do that because I don't know the dude. I guess the board needs to be renamed the what would you do board and not the etiquette board.
  • edited January 2012
    I agree with PretzlGrrl.  The significance of their relationship does matter.  Do you think you will know all their one week boyfriend's names at the time of invites if they've only been together for a week?  Probably not.

    Your cousins are lucky enough to be invited and your aunts and uncles won't be offended on behalf of their kid's boyfriends as they probably haven't even been introduced yet either.  Throw ettiquette out the window and forget the plus ones for them.
  • Everything you said is completely fine as long as you take the word "serious" out of it.  A relationship is a relationship, regardless of how you perceive it.  

    image
  • andrea2473andrea2473 member
    First Comment
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_singles-wout-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:546295e3-6ae2-40a6-8fe3-7dc6c1e12f41Post:838fe30f-40bd-4bfc-8ef6-221d120a6500">Re: Singles w/out a plus one</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with PretzlGrrl.  The significance of their relationship does matter.  Do you think you will know all their one week boyfriend's names at the time of invites if they've only been together for a week?  Probably not. Your cousins are lucky enough to be invited and your aunts and uncles won't be offended on behalf of their kid's boyfriends as they probably haven't even been introduced yet either.  <strong>Throw ettiquette out the window and forget the plus ones for them.
    </strong>Posted by Eggers3547[/QUOTE]

    FYI, you are posting on an ETIQUETTE board. 

    ETA: I wasn't correcting your spelling, I was reminding you about where you are posting.
    image
  • Just allow plus ones because it is the guests' decision whether or not they want to bring a guest and at the end of the day they might not bring anyone.


  • Our wedding is very small and intimate. We are only inviting couples as a unit that have been together at least a year, live together, are engaged, or are married. Not everyone can afford to invite the guy your cousin started dating a week ago. Is it great ettiquette? Probably not by official standards, but not many will care and with our budget and space restrictions, I will not exclude someone I love and have known for years, just so I have money and room for a guy someone met a few weeks ago. They'll live.
  • I sure hope there isn't an important guest you are inviting that has "only" been in a relationship nine months. Those three months make such a difference. Just because you don't perceive someone as serious doesn't mean they don't take their relationship serious. There are some couples I know that got engaged after six WEEKS of dating and married within nine months. So you're telling me the couple that started seeing each other the exact same time as that couple is not respected enough to be invited together just because there isn't a ring on a finger? You might not think of it this way, but you are judging them.
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