How far is TOO far to travel for our wedding?

sh72967

My fiance and I are having a hard time finding a venue in our town that meets our needs, dreams AND budget. We came across our ideal place, but it is 2 hours away from my home town and 2 1/2 hours from his (we both have very large families-making up about 60% of our guest list- majority coming from these two locations). We want a large wedding SO how far is TOO far to ask our guests to travel? 

banana468

Well, at 2 1/2 hours, you're essentially having a DW if it's local for no one.  With a length like that, it'll most likely require at least one overnight if not two.

It honestly depends on your families though - and also the logistics.   Would DH and I drive 2 1/2 hours to a wedding?  Sure.  Would we prefer not to?  Of course!

[Deleted User]

My FI's guests are traveling to Philadelphia from England and Australia.   It really depends on the guests.  

Have you asked your families what they think?  

Did you look at venues in both home towns so only one side would have to travel?  

AmoroAgain

My guests traveled from Arizona and Georgia for a wedding in Michigan.  H and I, on the other hand, traveled from Italy!  No one said a word about the distance.

AdeleDazeem

I've never been to a wedding that I haven't had to travel to.  The closest wedding I've been to was 2.5 hours away (through NYC on a Saturday evening - oy!) and the furthest was 10 hours away.  I just assume traveling is part of the package.

That being said, discuss with key members of your family and make sure they are okay with it.

ExpatPumpkin

Are your two towns 5 1/2 hours away from each other and this place is in the middle?  If so, this is a perfect compromise

Even if it's not, it's still not too far.  Just make sure to do room blocks, etc.  And/or make a weekend out of it:  invite everyone to the RD, etc.

tenofcups4me

Is it between the two cities or just some random site that's that far from everyone?
If it's between the two, I guess I understand it, though it still seems odd to ask EVERYONE to travel, rather than just half the guest list. 

If it's just some random site that requires everyone to travel when they ordinarly wouldn't have to, I personally think that's too far unless the site is some sort of great tourist destination on its own. But to ask all your guests go that far for just some  hotel or country club doesn't make much sense to me.

katiewhompus

I don't think 2 hours is too bad. I once drove 4 hours to go to a wedding and wasn't too grumbly about it (except for the stupid reception with the 4 hour gap, yeah...)
We had our wedding about 1 hour from both our families (in the middle) and we also had guests from Florida, Georgia, Conneticut and Maine (wedding was in VA).

kikibaby

Maybe it depends where you're from.  People here in Denver don't think it's far to drive 2 hours... they do it for skiing all the time.  It's not even an overnight.  So, I wouldn't think 2 or 2 1/2 hour was a long way to go for a wedding.

ExpatPumpkin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_far-far-travel-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5652fbd2-c374-488f-952a-f80f3fb9b2bbPost:b53152d9-14ca-4eb3-a895-8944611c7488">Re: How far is TOO far to travel for our wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]If it's just some random site that requires everyone to travel when they ordinarly wouldn't have to, I personally think that's too far unless the site is some sort of great tourist destination on its own. But to ask all your guests go that far for just some  hotel or country club doesn't make much sense to me.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with this.  I was assuming that the city/town you like has tourist value on its own.  If it's just another hotel or country club, I think people would be put off.  </div><div>
</div><div>But if it's in between your two groups of guests, it's a nice compromise.

</div>

sarah0725

It all depends on what this venue is and how far people tend to think is far in your area. I'm in NJ, and we've picked a site that is about 2 hours from most of our guests, who will be coming from north Jersey, Philly, and Delaware. But the site is both awesome in itself and at the beach, so there's a good reason for people to travel. I don't know if they'd all be thrilled if we decided to get married in a random banquet hall in central PA, though.

If this place is really special and your guests will think it's worth it, two hours isn't so bad.

Have you asked your immediate family members what they think?

aMrsin09

A lot depends on your families. My guests had to drive 20-30 minutes into the CBD of the TOWN THEY LIVED IN and they still complained about the distance.

sarabellam

For our wedding, my brother and his family flew from Dallas to Atlanta. My sister and her family flew from Switzerland. If they want to be there enough, they will find a way.

thesuninherhead

Our wedding was about 1 and a half to 2 and a half hours drive away from most guests. Many of our guests decided to stay in the town where it was held for the night, and we provided a shuttle bus for the purposes of getting them from hotels nearby to the venues. Given the fact that many people have DW these days, I don't think that there's really such a thing as 'too far' to travel- although you do have to be prepared that some of your guests may decline due to the distance.

beatlesgirl25

This wouldn't be a big deal to me if it was on a weekend, but if it was on a Friday or Sunday night, that might be a different story. You might have people coming late/leaving early.

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_far-far-travel-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5652fbd2-c374-488f-952a-f80f3fb9b2bbPost:9adcbb5a-d252-4f88-ba10-431883464f3e">Re: How far is TOO far to travel for our wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]For our wedding, my brother and his family flew from Dallas to Atlanta. My sister and her family flew from Switzerland. If they want to be there enough, they will find a way.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

That's really different though. If your family is spread out, there's no choice. I don't live nearly as far as your family, but I'm about 2 hours from almost the entire rest of my family. Of course I travel 2 hours to attend their events and don't think twice about it. But if one of them chose to have an event that was 2 hours away from everyone else -- for no apparent reason -- I'd think it was weird. And I guarantee that even though my family would go, they wouldn't be happy about it.  

sucrets4

I HATE post and runs.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_far-far-travel-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5652fbd2-c374-488f-952a-f80f3fb9b2bbPost:89eb002d-b862-4372-a83d-d24dfeeee96c">Re: How far is TOO far to travel for our wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I HATE post and runs.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Me too!  I don't really feel like I can give any helpful advice without the info everyone has been asking - like is this place in between your family's towns or in a random spot?  Is it a touristy area or just a random hotel/reception hall?

lyndausvi

Most of my family lives in DE and the Philly area..  DH's family is from Long Island.   DH and I picked South Jersey for our wedding.  Which was 2+ hours from my familiy and 3 hours from his.

We only had a few declines and they were not due to distance, but due to other obligations.

Now DH and I live in the islands, so we could have picked here, but we thought that was too much to ask for our guests, so we went to them instead.

madb0

If it's a site and a town that you are excited about getting married at/in, then go for it!  2 hours is not that far for people to travel to a wedding.  Most will just be excited to be there with you!  If, however, it's just a place that happened to be available, keep looking..if travel is going to be a part of the wedding, you might as well find a place that you LOVE (even if that means another hour or two on top of the 2 that you already considered) because this is your big day, and you should not compromise simply so that people don't have to drive an extra hour.  I genuinely think people will not mind a few hour drive to be able to celebrate this day with you.

kaesha

I think it's fine, but I also had a DW in Hawai'i (as our guest list was travelling from Canada, Japan, England and the US). As long as you're okay with the idea that many people won't want to make the effort, I really can't see the big deal.

sh72967

Thank you all so much for the input! We have asked a few family and no one had anything bad to say about it. We'll see how it works out!