I have a friend who got legally married at a court house last year due her husband being in the military and due to financial reasons. I didn't find out about their marriage until earlier this year, which is fine because we are not that close.
However, I just found out through a mutual friend that this couple is going to have a wedding ceremony and reception this fall and my mutual friend was asked to be a bridesmaid in their wedding. I was talking to my friend (who was asked to be a bridesmaid) about how odd and deceitful I thought this was. They are already legally married, they had their wedding at the court house and it seems like they are lying to their guests about already being married. To my knowledge most of their friends and their parents know they are married but I'm not sure about any other friends and family that are invited to this fall wedding. My friend doesn't really see anything wrong with this and still plans to accept her offer to be a bridesmaid.
But I just can't seem to get past this. I'm not close enough to tell her that this is a huge etiquette fu pas and I think she is pretty far in the planning anyway. I feel like I can't decline the invite because knowing that they are already legally married and disagreeing with their choice to get married again would be a bad reason not to support my friend, but how am I supposed to witness this "marriage" knowing that they are already married? Do I give them a gift or a card anyway? How would you handle this situation?
Also, she is throwing her own bridal shower at the end of July... Should I accept or decline this invite?
I don't want to be the only one of our friends not to attend these events, but I just think what she is doing is rude and deceitful.
Any advice would be very helpful!
