Poor planning

Jelenny

I am helping a friend out so I am posting and running but I need some advice:

My friend is the MC for her friend's wedding on 1-1-11 and has been included in the bridal party.  The MOH just declared that they will have the bachelorette party on the 29th and 30th (overnight trip to San Francisco).  MOH convince the bride to postpone this when the original plans were made for the 28th - which my friend and the other BM were able to do.

Unfortunately, my friend and another BM cannot go due to pre-arranged family plans. The MOH is now saying those not attending should pay even if they won't won't be there.

No plans have been set in stone just yet as everyone is still throwing ideas out (a bit chaotic, really) so no cost has been given yet. The BM unable to go says she will not pay.

I'm not sure what is the general etiquette. Should they pay because they are part of the wedding party even if they cannot make it? 

This is not the situation where last minute my friend is sick and can't go where plans were made.  Just trying to get some advice since I would say she shouldn't have to.

TIA!

JanoBean75

If nothing's set in stone, everyone should make it clear to MOH that they won't pay if they can't go. To expect they would is simply ridiculous.

squirrly

They, as a group, should make a plan.  If someone can't attend and WANTS to contribute, that's fine, but they shouldn't be asked to do so, much less forced. 

If the MOH wants to dictate the date, location, and nature of the party, she pays.  Period.

jcamm11

If she doesn't get a say in the planning, then she shouldn't have to pay.  That's not OK for MOH to pick a more expensive option for the party and demand the cash out of everyone; especially in this situation where your friend can't even go. 

Also, I wouldn't want to take a trip like that right before my wedding.  I  wonder if MOH is imposing her will on the bride the same way as she is the maids..

mattycam

I agree; if you can't make it (the event), why are you paying for it? Especially if you were not asked if you are free that day!