NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette

ichellemay1

Ok, this may be something that has been addressed, but I haven't been around much lately (new jobs will do that)...  I have a co-worker (at said new job) that is throwing her own baby shower-for her 2nd child.  Now, I know there can be exceptions to the 2nd child shower rule, (i.e., new dad, kids are far apart in age, having a girl after a boy) but she is with the same man, the kids are only about 2 years apart, and both are boys.

Is it just me or is this shower side-eye worthy? 

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-baby-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58961e80-89cc-49ae-8022-e52ddd531813Post:3b6ce8c9-4fa7-4ed1-83e5-3e5969d9b00e">NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, this may be something that has been addressed, but I haven't been around much lately (new jobs will do that)...  I have a co-worker (at said new job) that is throwing her own baby shower-for her 2nd child.  Now, I know there can be exceptions to the 2nd child shower rule, (i.e., new dad, kids are far apart in age, having a girl after a boy) but she is with the same man, the kids are only about 2 years apart, and both are boys. Is it just me or is this shower side-eye worthy? 
Posted by ichellemay1[/QUOTE]

yeah, both ways

No showers for second baby and no hosting your own shower.  She sounds lovely

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-baby-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58961e80-89cc-49ae-8022-e52ddd531813Post:3b6ce8c9-4fa7-4ed1-83e5-3e5969d9b00e">NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, this may be something that has been addressed, but I haven't been around much lately (new jobs will do that)...  I have a co-worker (at said new job) that is throwing her own baby shower-for her 2nd child.  Now, I know there can be exceptions to the 2nd child shower rule, (i.e., new dad, kids are far apart in age, having a girl after a boy) but she is with the same man, the kids are only about 2 years apart, and both are boys. <strong>Is it just me or is this shower side-eye worthy? </strong>
Posted by ichellemay1[/QUOTE]
In a massive, eye-rolling way.

SparrowSong

I'd be finding an excuse to decline that invite. Definitely side-eye.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-baby-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58961e80-89cc-49ae-8022-e52ddd531813Post:29877e0b-2a23-4ec4-8d4a-f592e328091e">Re: NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette :  No showers for second baby and no hosting your own shower. 
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
Yes, this. I don't go to baby showers anyway, but I'd make a show out of not going to this one.

laurenclaire1386

Jill, I am shocked that you don't go to baby showers. FLABBERGASTED, I tell you.

[Deleted User]

It's a matter of principle. Sometimes it's hard to get out of those things. The pressure is so intense.

laurenclaire1386

I don't go to them either, but it ain't cause I have principles. I just can't think of a more not fun way to spend 3 hours.

[Deleted User]

I'm still waiting for the fallout of avoiding my sister's.

MissRutig

I have recently had 2 friends have 2nd baby, baby showers. I see them in poor taste, especially when they are the ones throwing it.
At the recent party you could tell she was after the gifts, because while i stayed and helped them load the SUV of all things pink, i heard her say to her sister "psh i got way more the first time"... Well DUHHH it was your 1st baby!

Some people are greedy. I personally wouldnt be rushing to RSVP.

GeauxTigers17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-baby-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58961e80-89cc-49ae-8022-e52ddd531813Post:8bd3ed6c-b69c-470d-b74c-b8f164476804">Re: NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I have recently had 2 friends have 2nd baby, baby showers. I see them in poor taste, especially when they are the ones throwing it. :( At the recent party you could tell she was after the gifts, because while i stayed and helped them load the SUV of all things pink, i heard her say to her sister "psh i got way more the first time"... Well DUHHH it was your 1st baby! Some people are greedy. I personally wouldnt be rushing to RSVP.
Posted by MissRutig[/QUOTE]

<div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">My ex-BF's sister complained about not getting enough gifts after her baby shower (it was her first and she got a TON of beautiful things) and complained about people not using her registry. Several of her friends had lost their jobs and they still got her a present. She was SUCH a peach. I thought it was bad enough for a first shower, but for a second?! Your story = yikes.</div></div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-baby-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58961e80-89cc-49ae-8022-e52ddd531813Post:3b6ce8c9-4fa7-4ed1-83e5-3e5969d9b00e">NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, this may be something that has been addressed, but I haven't been around much lately (new jobs will do that)...  I have a co-worker (at said new job) that is throwing her own baby shower-for her 2nd child.  Now, I know there can be exceptions to the 2nd child shower rule, (i.e.,<strong> new dad, kids are far apart in age, having a girl after a boy</strong>) but she is with the same man, the kids are only about 2 years apart, and both are boys. Is it just me or is this shower side-eye worthy? 
Posted by ichellemay1[/QUOTE]

I don't know that I would consider those valid reasons to break etiquette... except MAYBE having a surprise second child many years (like at least 6, or more) after your first baby when it's clear you've gotten rid of all your baby stuff. Or, like, a natural disaster destroyed your house with all your possessions.

So yeah, obviously, I'm side-eying this with you.

blahblah85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-baby-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58961e80-89cc-49ae-8022-e52ddd531813Post:c56e2958-a0eb-477c-80d5-2c21a9bfaccd">Re: NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette : Yes, this. I don't go to baby showers anyway, but I'd make a show out of not going to this one.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't make a big show out of not going.  It'll just cause drama at work. 

I don't go unless it is family or close friends.  I do buy gifts to give later, but thats just what I do.

teacherbride30

Each child is a celebration.  Maybe she doesn't need clothes...but she will definitely need diapers.  I don't see it weird at all....it's a BABY shower, not her shower.  It is celebrating a new life!

Birdie1483

Eh I don't know. I think it's weird that she's throwing her own shower, but I don't side-eye second baby showers, especially if they're for a different gendered baby.

ETA: As long as they're tastefully done. I've only ever been to low-key second baby showers, so that's what I'm basing my opinion on.

Milsey32

While I haven't been to many baby showers (so far.. I'm still young), I had never heard of a 2nd baby baby shower... or hosting a shower themselves... but then again, I'm still shocked at the idea of people adding more guests in their RSVP.

ichellemay1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-baby-shower-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58961e80-89cc-49ae-8022-e52ddd531813Post:3ccdbdb0-52e1-4447-9de8-9dcdc4e7ee49">Re: NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to NWR-Baby Shower Etiquette : I don't know that I would consider those valid reasons to break etiquette... except MAYBE having a surprise <strong>second child many years (like at least 6, or more) after your first baby</strong> when it's clear you've gotten rid of all your baby stuff. Or, like, a natural disaster destroyed your house with all your possessions. So yeah, obviously, I'm side-eying this with you.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

My Mom's FRIENDS did this for her when my sister was born.  She wasn't a surprise, per se, just took longer to get pregnant the 2nd time.  I think that is ok.

Money is also tight right now (who's money ISN'T these days?) plusalso I'm not THAT close with this girl.  Thanks so much for the advice, ladies.  You ROCK!

baystateapple

One of my best friends is having a baby this year, and her cousin-in-law is having her third...and throwing herself a baby shower.  Winning.

Arayx2

** I have heard of a "Sprinkle" which is a smaller version of a shower for a woman who has had either a 2nd baby of a different sex or it has been quite a long time between the two. But I am sure I will get flack for this;

I personally think its selfish to have more than one if they lady is just having another show to get more stuff. People close enough to the mom and baby will generally bring small gifts anyways. Expecting anything beyond that is absurd in my book.

AbbeyS2011

I have two baby shower stories:

1) I hosted one for my exH's son's GF (hope you followed that one), which turned out to be a double baby shower (NOT my doing) with a friend of hers, who also had just had a baby.  My sister made a baseball mitt-shaped cake for her, since she had a boy. 

The GF shows up with a cake in hand, then bitches during the shower how she really did not want one, she had 2 others already (thanks for telling me this!), and would not touch the cake I brought - apparently it was not good enough - then gave me a dirty look for giving her diapers as a gift.

2) I had just had my son about 2 weeks prior, and our church we regularly attended decided to throw us a shower on a Wednesday night after services.  No one called to tell us they were doing this, and we did not attend that night, since I was just not feeling up to going out and about much yet. 

We get a phone call at 8 pm, wondering where we are, so I got dressed out of my pjs, and loaded up the baby and went to church.  It was a nice thought, but when I got there they had already cut the cake and just sat and watched me open the gifts.  I went home and just bawled my eyes out.  I could not believe no one thought it through.


Sorry to have such a long reply, but I do not like baby showers, and unless it is for one of my children, I will never go to one again. 

Yes, hosting your own baby shower is as bad as asking for money as gifts at your wedding, IMO.