Really? Really.

Night_Sprite

I had lunch with a friend yesterday who I hadn't talked to in the last five weeks.  She said to me that she expected me to turn into a bridezilla at the wedding.  She was surprised that I was a kind and gracious hostess on my freaking wedding day.  Bullshit.  Bull-freaking-shit.  Who the fucking fuuck are you to say that to me?  Some friend.  

RachNRich

I love you?

Night_Sprite

Am I wrong to be pissed?

RachNRich

Not at all; I just didn't know what to say to combat her shitty statement to you--so, I wanted to let you know I loved you!

banana468

What do you say to that?  "Huh, I was really surprised by this lunch since you TOTALLY caught me by surprise by being a cvnt.  So I guess we've surprised each other."

lauralaur

I think that there are just a lot of people out there who can't for the life of them believe that a bride, any bride, can remain calm on her wedding day. I had TONS of people asking me if I was freaking out, or commenting on how calm I was. I'd be annoyed, but I wouldn't be too mad about it.

mwhitson14

I posted something similar about this, the night before the wedding when I was slightly tipsy. I had gotten pissed over something, and everyone (those that were at the RD) immediately goes into, she's a bridezilla! I think that people just look for something that makes you a bridezilla, and expect it to happen, to the point that it's ridiculous.

I'd be mad, but at this point, I'd also let it go. You know you were a good host at your wedding, she knows it, and she had no reason to bring it up. And now you know, no reason to talk to her for another 5 weeks, if ever again.

katiewhompus

Eh, my friends basically told me the same thing. I think when it comes to big events they expect everyone to go off the handle.

nda_roxybabe

What a crap thing to say.
I'm scared of becoming a biitch

Night_Sprite

The thing is, I was sugar and FUCKING spice to EVERYONE that day.  I was happy and kind and sweet because it was my WEDDING DAY.  I hugged and smiled until I was practically dead, but no one knew because I was being a good hostess.  I danced with the weird uncle and smiled over and over.  

Even if she expected it, wouldn't she just think, "Oh, how great that she wasn't a bridezilla." 

sphinx24

Most of my male friends and all of my female friends have bets on when i crack and become a raging bridezilla. I told one of them that if he gave me a cut I'd tell him when i would snap :P I think you just have to let it go and realize she didn't think she was insulting you; instead she was complimenting you on your calm and gracious manner; or so she thought at least

tlv204

I had a friend say the same thing to me, and it kind of threw me off but I really wasn't THAT upset about it. I don't know, I'm a pretty high strung person sometimes, so I kind of expected myself to be a bridezilla as much as everyone else did. I was actually kind of relieved that other people realized I was calm and that it wasn't all in my head. I have a habit of thinking I'm calm, when in fact, I have steam coming out of my ears.

Night_Sprite

I'm sorry for freaking out a bit.  I'm just aghast that someone would be so thoughtless to someone they believe is their good friend.  It's great big flaming piles of poop.

jajph1974

Maybe it was meant as a joke (that went horribly wrong)?

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58cc37c6-2561-47aa-ade6-a9332a9958a9Post:75074ae4-22a0-4328-95eb-16b9ca7b374b">Re: Really? Really.</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe it was meant as a joke (that went horribly wrong)?
Posted by jajph1974[/QUOTE]
Nope, she was completely sincere and serious.

jajph1974

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58cc37c6-2561-47aa-ade6-a9332a9958a9Post:f5e45e47-ce1e-42c6-ab8f-c3c82e3979bc">Re: Really? Really.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Really? Really. : Nope, she was completely sincere and serious.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]


Wow. Ok, then that is pretty shiity. I can see how it would hurt your feelings that a friend would think something like that about you.

She sucks. Let it go.

tlv204

I guess I don't really see it as thoughtless, just her honest opinion. Maybe one she didn't need to share, but still. My friends and I share unnecessary opinions all the time. It's not always a great idea, but if you can't say what you're thinking to your friends, who can you say it to? Again, it's not something she needed to share necessarily, but I really doubt she meant it to hurt your feelings. But I dont' know her so I could easily be wrong.

Nebb

Look at all the F words flying around, youre such a mrs-zilla. Pfft!!

I think bridezilla is a term that needs to go away, just because someone is annoyed, short, or seemed harried on their wedding day does not mean they are a bridezilla. Being a bride does not mean you will also be a bridezilla. They dont go hand in hand. Bridezillas are irrational, controlling, and generally selfish.

People are asshats, I would have told her off.

mwhitson14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:58cc37c6-2561-47aa-ade6-a9332a9958a9Post:fc32b585-2f05-4311-b15f-489fcf40709d">Re: Really? Really.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think bridezilla is a term that needs to go away, just because someone is annoyed, short, or seemed harried on their wedding day does not mean they are a bridezilla. Being a bride does not mean you will also be a bridezilla. They dont go hand in hand. Bridezillas are irrational, controlling, and generally selfish.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

I completely agree. I hate it.

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58cc37c6-2561-47aa-ade6-a9332a9958a9Post:8fc76d54-042d-4566-a606-e3f511599b1e">Re: Really? Really.</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I don't really see it as thoughtless, just her honest opinion. Maybe one she didn't need to share, but still. My friends and I share unnecessary opinions all the time. It's not always a great idea, but if you can't say what you're thinking to your friends, who can you say it to? Again, it's not something she needed to share necessarily, but I really doubt she meant it to hurt your feelings. But I dont' know her so I could easily be wrong.
Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]
I don't see how it could possibly be thoughtful.  How could a person consider and think about something like that and decide, Yes.  Yes, this would be a good set of words to expel from my mouth. 

Night_Sprite

Thank you girls.  Really.  Thank you.

jajph1974

Quick threadjack .... Whit, I love your sig pic. You look beautiful

PsyDet 2155

Wow that's really unfortunate a "friend" would say that.  Like TLV, I am high strung, but I would be offended if someone said that to me.  Maybe once you cool down you can voice your distaste in her rude comment.  Perhaps she didn't realize how rude it was?

Here's a pic of a baby friend   Her name is Claire and she's my boyfriend's sister's daughter.  So cute!

PsyDet 2155

And yes, you definitely have a right to be pissed and vent

mwhitson14

Thank jajph I was hoping to have pro pics today, but my photog is out of town

Night: ::deep breath::

Night_Sprite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_really-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:58cc37c6-2561-47aa-ade6-a9332a9958a9Post:497c4a94-5d89-452e-9d92-32c49fd5ab06">Re: Really? Really.</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow that's really unfortunate a "friend" would say that.  Like TLV, I am high strung, but I would be offended if someone said that to me.  Maybe once you cool down you can voice your distaste in her rude comment.  Perhaps she didn't realize how rude it was? Here's a pic of a baby friend :)  Her name is Claire and she's my boyfriend's sister's daughter.  So cute!
Posted by PsyDet 2155[/QUOTE]
Oh look at the squishy little baby face.  Aww.  Thanks psydet.

Night_Sprite

By the way, Whit.  Did you give us a wedding recap?  I haven't been around much.  I agree that you look beautiful in your sig pic.

PsyDet 2155

No one can say no to little mittens

mwhitson14

Not really I got a chance to read We Get It, and decided not to. Things went (mostly) well, there weren't really any major snafus. MIL freak out. A candle fell from the candleabra. That was it!

tlv204

I certainly don't think it was thoughtful, I just doubt she was intending to be hurtful. I don't know, it just didn't bother me that much when my friend said the same thing to me. But like I said, I expected myself to be irrational and crazy, so I guess it was just different.