Wedding Etiquette Forum

who pays for rings?

FI and I are ready to order our wedding bands.  My question is who pays for them?  Do I buy his and he buys mine?  Do we buy our own?  Do we buy them out of our joint account?  Mine will obviously be more expensive than his and he already paid a lot for my engagement ring.  I would feel bad having him pay for my band also.  What's the proper etiquette? 

Re: who pays for rings?

  • Traditionally, you buy his ring and he buys yours. But it doesn't have to be that way--figure out an arrangement that works for both of you.
  • I think technically H bought everything, but since we joined all our money after the wedding it really didn't matter who bought what.  I think you should work it out however you're most comfortable.

  • We bought ours together.  And don't automatically think that yours is more expensive unless you opt for different metals.  My band is platinum with a half ring of channel set diamonds.  DH's is solid platinum and because of the size, his is more expensive.
  • I bought his, he bought mine.  That's more tradition than etiquette.  His was about as much as his because his was a thicker band and had more precious metal (but mine had diamonds). 
  • DH paid for both ours.  But that was more because he received a nice bonus at work and wanted to buy them right away.

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  • I agree with Opal--usually you buy each others but if something else works better for you, go for it. H was adamant about paying for mine even though mine was a lot more than his. But he also got off the hook for my e-ring because it was my grandmother's. But still the band was way more than anticipated and I was kind of freaking but he paid for it. And I did pay for his.
  • We went against tradition and are each buying our own. The ring I really wanted was more money than he could afford right now, but I could, and I didn't want him stuck paying for that, so I just bought it myself. He wants something a lot simpler and he is paying for his himself.

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  • There's really no etiquette. A lot of couples will buy each others' rings. My husband paid for both of ours because we bought them at the same time. We didn't have a joint account then, but it all came out in the wash, since we both paid for the wedding. He made the large deposits, I paid for all the smaller stuff as well as a good chunk of the reception and the tips. Whatever works for you. I will say that I offered to pay for part of my engagement ring and he refused to accept that, but didn't have a problem paying for his own wedding band.
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  • Thanks ladies, this is very helpful.  Banana, I'm not assuming, we already know which rings we are purchasing and mine is 3 times as much as his.  I will offer to pay for my own, but if he insists, I will pay for his for sure.  :)
  • We bought ours out of our joint account. Since we share money, for us it didn't matter specifically where the money came from since it was all "ours" anyway.
  • We bought ours together. I paid for them at first bc we didn't have the joint account set up yet, but it all worked out.
  • I'll be buying my FI and he will be purchasing mine.
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  • The rings were purchased with funds from our joint wedding account.  FI's band was slightly more expensive than mine. So, you never know.  
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: who pays for rings?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Pesa, not everyone shares finances after they're married.  Many couples maintain separate accounts and pay bills separately.
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]
    Even if you keep your accounts separate, you're still contributing to support the same household. So, it's still kind of six of one.   Unless of course you don't live together.  
  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2011
    I see what you guys are saying.  I was just thinking of those people who keep everything separate, then you have to decide how to divvy up the spending - each contribute a percentage of the ring cost based on the percentage of total income you bring home (this is what friends of mine do; she pays 75% of the bills because she makes 75% of their combined income)?  Each contribute half, as that's how you split combined bills?  Each buy your own, because it's something for you?  Or each buy the other's, because it's a gift for your spouse?  If you keep income totally separate, then it does affect each person differently depending on how you do it.
  • But even if you divy up bills or spending habits at some point it's still your money. I mean, if H doesn't have enough to cover a bill are you just going to let the electricity be cut off? Probably not. In that case your money becomes his money which is really our money.
  • I know it all depends on preference and what not, but that seems more like having a room mate more than having a spouse to me. I think even now if FI or I was late on a payment and the other could afford to pay it we would. I don't understand not having some sort of joint account. I definitely understand having some separate money, but not all separate money.
    Next to being married, a girl likes being crossed now and then. - Jane Austen
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: who pays for rings?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Actually, one of my friends let her husband just pay late one his student loan.  She had enough to cover it but chose not to.  I thought that was weird.
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    <div>That is weird.  Well, it's weird to me.</div>
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