Wedding Etiquette Forum

I am going to NEED that honeymoon.

This is purely a rant/vent and I'm sure I'm being immature.  It just feels good to type it all out, haha. 

But the FIL's are going to Maine for a week two weeks before our wedding.  They leave the rental the Sat before the wedding.  They live in FL so going all the way home doesn't really make sense.  They are insisting on staying with us for the whole week before the wedding.  Never mind that they have multiple friends in the area that they could stay with.  Or that one of FI's groomsmen and his girlfriend are already staying with us (not a huge fan of that, but it's a long story and they're not a problem tolerate, haha).

The big problem is that we live in a house they were renting and then they moved to FL, but were stuck in the lease.  So we're paying them rent (not the whole thing because we would never pay that much to live anywhere) to help them out and we're living there for slightly cheaper than getting our own place and that helps us out.  So they feel entitled to stay there even though they always insist that it's "our place" not theirs.

I might have to see how much a hotel room for the week would cost and just go stay there for that week.  Ugh.
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Re: I am going to NEED that honeymoon.

  • If nothing else it might be helpful to get a hotel for the days before the wedding to relax a little :)

    I can't imagine anyone coming into our home the week before the wedding. I was so freaking busy and stressed that someone would have died. It was bad enough when my relatives wanted to "hang out" the day of my RD. I flipped and was just like "Look, I love you guys and I'm so glad you came, but I have 5 million things that need to get done in the next 12 hours. I promise that Sat/Sun I will spend all day with you but I just can't right now."
  • Schedule lots of lunch dates and shopping trips with friends that week.  Good luck!  My MIL lived with us for 2 months and I'm honestly surprised that we all survived it.
  • Not being immature at all.  That sounds like a huge pain.  I think it'd be smart to rent a hotel room so you have somewhere to escape to. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Scheduling lots of things out actually isn't a bad idea. Or escape to a library for a few hours of peace and quiet if you need to.
  • You should definitely get a hotel room at least the night before the wedding.  You're going to need it! 
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  • I like the idea of scheduling things...I have to work Mon & Tue and Tue is my final meeting with the venue where I have to take things like our finished escort cards and nonsense.  So the beginning of the week will definitely be worse.
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    BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
  • It also might give them the hint that you guys have things to do and places to be that week, and maybe they'll give you some space.
  • haha if only, Katie.  FI told them all of the reasons why we would rather they stay with their friends and they simply don't care.  I'm just hoping I don't tear out ALL of my hair so I have something to clip my veil into on the wedding day.
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    BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
  • Andress, I'm sorry I missed you yesterday :( I didn't get to camp out with them Saturday night because I had a hair appointment at 11 Sunday, and then Max had to be sprung by 5:30.

    Was it crazy wild in town? For some reason, I can't find the message he sent telling me what bar they ended up going to before finding their host town. It had an odd name, though.

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    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • Well, if they insist on staying with you, I'd put them to work! Writing out escort cards, calling venues, etc. You'll either get help or they'll realize how much you have going on ;)

    I'm not sure if I'm joking or not...

    Otherwise, I think it's ok if your FI calls them and says, "Hey guys, so excited to see you! We'd love to have you stay with us Monday-Wednesday, but we really need to crack down on Thursday and Friday for the wedding, so it would be great if you could stay with the Andersons. I'm sure you guys remember how busy things were before your wedding!" It's "their" place, but it's your wedding and your sanity.
  • I don't think it's immature of you at all to want some time to yourself before your wedding.  I think it's inconsiderate of family to want to stay with you, but unfortunately, I don't know that there's much you can do about it.

    Except, like Poli suggested, put them to work to relieve some of your stress.  And maybe book yourself a spa appt for the day before the wedding or something to destress and have some time to yourself.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-going-need-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:594683d6-8e4d-4a33-9a56-14a903cf5344Post:6fb12fae-6f36-41b5-93f9-161288a2b935">Re: I am going to NEED that honeymoon.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Andress, I'm sorry I missed you yesterday :( I didn't get to camp out with them Saturday night because I had a hair appointment at 11 Sunday, and then Max had to be sprung by 5:30. Was it crazy wild in town? For some reason, I can't find the message he sent telling me what bar they ended up going to before finding their host town. It had an odd name, though.
    Posted by missy68[/QUOTE]

    Aw it's ok!  I was out of town until 5-6pm so I went downtown later and it was definitely crazy.  They had a great concert and people were everywhere.  Really fun though!  H worked the door at a couple of the bars.. I can think of a few with odd names.
  • H's dad stayed with us the week before the wedding, but we get along great so it wasn't that bad. Plus he cooked or bought dinner so we didn't have to, which was great.

    But had it of been more than one person, or most other family members, I would have gone nuts.
  • "Great!  Well, since you're going to be here, I'm going to need your help with X, Y, and Z." 

    If that doesn't work, either to get stuff done or for them to decide that it's too much work, then I'd go for the hotel.  Our wedding was an hour from home, and we checked into the hotel on Thursday, because I didn't want to be driving back and forth at that point.  The only improvement on that plan would have been to check in earlier.

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    Married: 2010
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  • No, you're totally right about this. I would be miffed too. And make arraangements for us (or them) to stay elsewhere.
    Crosswalk
  • Heck, FI's parents are our landlords (they bought a condo for him to live in where he attends grad school, they live 7 hours away).  They own our apartment and we still made it clear from day 1 of our engagement that they nor my parents were allowed to stay with us for any time leading up to our wedding.  I just knew that I absolutely would not want to play "hostess" while at the same time doing all the wedding related chores the weekend of our wedding.  I think you're absolutely right to put your foot down!
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