Is spending less good or bad

roseofdeborah

I've not posted on this board, but I have an etiquette question. Recently engaged and beginning the wedding planning process. My father is paying for the wedding, and I keep coming up with ideas, mostly DIY, that would make me uber stressed if I tried to do them all, but would most likely save him thousands in the long run. He's already told me he'd pay for whatever I want, but he's an accountant and very picky with money. Should I just skip the stress and let him just spend more money or do what I can to help? 

lindseyann410

Have him give you a set budget. It will keep both of you sane.

Meg1036

Set a budget and work from there.  I am not a DIY person, and it totally would have stressed me out.  But I still managed to work within a budget I set by comparison shopping, and cutting out a few "nice to haves" that really weren't essential.

Nickivegan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_spending-less-good-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5aa9c59b-e112-4ed8-9fde-3e6056c98c40Post:e6fa9631-a21e-4640-a852-7736d80325f9">Re: Is spending less good or bad</a>:
[QUOTE]And might I add it's very nice of you to be considerate of his budget.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]


This.

But definitely know EXACTLY how much he is contributing. A lot of couples (us included) end up over budget and that can cause stress the week leading up to the wedding.

Congrats on the engagement!

ILoveToRobot

my parents are paying for our wedding. they are very cost concious but refused to give me a budget. i tried to keep costs low by chosing family style instead of four course. i chose a dress that was reasonable. i looked for vendors, shopped around etc. im also doing some diy because i hate feeling like im making my parents pay for this even though it was their decision. just run all vendors by your parents before you make any decisions.

cebrady89

Yes, setting a budget and sticking to it is key. My parents are also paying for our wedding, and setting a budget right away helped us rule certain venues and vendors out...that alone saved me from so much stress. I'm like you, DIY stresses me out, so having a budget keeps things much simpler.

Simply Fated

Sometimes the stress of DIY isn't worth it. Also, not all DIY projects turn out to be cheaper in the long run. I would put a budget together and stick to it. What you have to DIY, do it. What you can afford to buy, do that. And GL!

Grits8812

I would DIY anything that you can, things you know you can handle.  He may be paying for it but if you can save him a bunch of money doing it yourself, I don't see why you wouldn't.  You don't have to DIY everything but I'm sure there are some easy things.

LittleMissCutiePie

You're very sweet to be conscious of money. Many brides would take an opportunity like yours and run with it. I would discuss a budget, and if he says that the "sky is the limit" (we all know that's not true), set yourself a budget, and work within that. DIY what you can, but avoid anything you know will stress you out (ie. wedding cake, flower arrangements). Try and find resources in friends, but let them offer to help instead of asking. Start any DIY early, so you're not scrambling at the last second. GL!

Elinetrouwt

It is very nice of you to take his budget into account. As a rule of thumb, spend only money on things you would spend your own money on, if you had it. If you think something would be a waste of your own money, don't make your father pay for it.

I agree with PP that DIY sometimes doesn't save very much at all. It is often easier to look for cheaper alternatives, which there almost always are. The biggest cost is usually food, and DIY'ing for most people doesn't make a lot of sense there.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_spending-less-good-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5aa9c59b-e112-4ed8-9fde-3e6056c98c40Post:f993f8a7-56ad-42d8-9536-27e96552343d">Re: Is spending less good or bad</a>:
[QUOTE]Sometimes the stress of DIY isn't worth it. Also, not all DIY projects turn out to be cheaper in the long run. I would put a budget together and stick to it. What you have to DIY, do it. What you can afford to buy, do that. And GL!
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
This, exactly. Write it all out and figure out just how much $ vs time you'd be saving and decide if it's worth it. Also remember your skills & limitations. If it will take you days to learn how to do something, it may not be worth it. I have a lot of DIY, but I know where to concede.

Pjb1211

I would politely explain to him that it would cause you less stress if he gave you a budget so that you knew you were both being respectful of each others' time and money.