Walking down the aisle alone.

Kristin789

I walked down by myself, and it was probably the most independent, freeing, clarifying thing I've ever done.  I was coming to this ceremony of my own free will, and I really liked the statement that I was a fully-formed adult who walked by herself instead of being "given away" or expecting to be "completed" by getting married.

I considered, for a moment, walking in with FI.  Still think that would have been good, but not as good as walking down by myself.

If I were you, I'd have FI go over and greet/hug/shake hands with his parents when he enters the ceremony, and you stop and greet/hug your parents on the way down the aisle.  Or not.

t.kaufman

I would not at all think you had a bad relationship with your dad!

I am also not walking with my dad, though I think I have a pretty good relationship with him. DH and I might walk together, or might walk in from opposite ends to meet each other at the front.. it's an outdoor ceremony, not really sure how we're doing it yet! But my dad is definitely NOT walking me because I very strongly disagree with the tradition. I feel it's kind of incestuous and disgusting in a way.. like my dad owns my sexuality [and my person] and is giving my husband the "okay" to have sex with me. If we take it to the very limit, that's what I see.

So I hear ya on getting rid of that tradition! However, I very much like th idea of hugging/kissing parents at the end of the aisle - if I was to do this, DH and I would BOTH hug/kiss our parents. I think my dad might be disappointed at not walking me down the aisle... but he will live. He knows that I love him and that it has nothing to do with him. Just explain to him that you are against the tradition of "giving away the bride." You can say:  "I am not a piece of property." And hopefully everyone at your wedding knows that you are pro-woman [dare I say feminist] and have a fine relationship with your dad. If they dont' know these things, I would uninvite them.

JSweetieXO

I am most likely walking in alone and also am not having the father/daughter dance. If people think negatively then oh well.

Allen+Smith

[QUOTE]A friend walked out of the building she was in and down the steps with both her dad and mom (outdoor ceremony), then hugged them both and sent them down the aisle without her to go sit down. She then walked down the aisle by herself. Nothing against her parents, she just felt like she wanted to go by herself to her new husband.[/QUOTE]

This is actually something I might have to consider for my ceremony now too- thanks for posting this!!!

I have been trying to decide between having my Brother or my BIL (whom I have known since I was 3 or 4 years old) walk me. My Father and I have an odd relationship- we didn't speak for several years, but started trying to work on our relationship when I went to college.  And when I asked him if he would like to be involved in our wedding in any way (planning, participating, or paying), he declined. I don't think it would be fair to my mother, who is helping us plan and pay for our wedding, if he walked me down the aisle while she sat and watched. But I really don't like the idea of just her walking me down (just personal preference really).

nice thread btw- there are some great suggestions in here! thanks for bringing this up :)

EDIT: I agree with several pp about the tradition of being "given away" being outdated, and a little out of place for most women marrying these days, HOWEVER... I have this giant fear of being nervous/tense/clumsy/etc., and really needing somebody I love and trust to hold on to as I walk in.  Does anybody else worry about this?

meganyani

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_walking-down-aisle-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5af0786b-72bd-4a9b-b4e7-fffdde1ef4cePost:95936b64-e534-4157-a4b1-ada78e7cb2db">Re: Walking down the aisle alone.</a>:
[QUOTE]I am most likely walking in alone and also am not having the father/daughter dance. If people think negatively then oh well.
Posted by JSweetieXO[/QUOTE]

ME TOO! Finally someone who gets it! I love you.

MeryMac, we have the same wedding day and I plan on walking alone as well. I hate the idea of the tradition. I care about my parents and all but we are not a touchy family (haven't hugged/whatever since I was in gradeschool) so thinking of walking/hugging/kissing etc is a bit scary to me.  I was always independent as well so I understand what you mean.

IIn short: I wouldn't think a gosh darn thing about a bride who walked with or without someone. People who judge aren't people who you should care about anyway.