My Family vs His

MissSkitty

Should I cut down my side of the family to reflect his number of guests? You see my family is very tight knit and a lot of people want to attend and I feel bad if I tell them no. But on the other side my fiance's family is not. He doesn't even have a list of who he wants to invite...not even a best man yet...and it's driving me crazy/making me feel bad. I think he's afraid his family will say no or won't come. I keep trying to tell them he needs to tell them now so they have plenty of time to plan for it. In my head I imagine walking down the asile and my half is full and his side is going to have like...5 people. Help!

AmoroAgain

Mine Vs. His?  Thaaaaaat'll work out great.  You should nip that thinking in the bud asap. 

squirrelly29

who cares about sides and counts. My side is 1/2 the size of FI's and my parents are paying. Its not about that, just invite who is important and who you want there and dont keep score.

smokeybailey

I was hoping this was some sort of wrestling match.

sarabellam

Me too, smokey. Even better if it is a cage match.

jasmineh7777

I pictured the Gladiators balance beam with they try to knock eachother off...

stefani103

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_family-vs-his?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b278549-a174-4b0e-8769-7b5a0012ec47Post:3c21fff4-1596-4f77-bb52-23865482184a">Re: My Family vs His</a>:
[QUOTE]Invite who you want. Don't seat people according to which "side" they're on.
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

This. FI will have lots more at our wedding. His extended family is local and mine is not. It was never an issue; just the way things are.

But I wish we had had a gladiators-style competition. Now it's too late. *sigh* I'll definitely keep that in mind for baby names down the road.

ashmy211

I agree with PP's saying to not have a "bride side" and "groom side". I have 3 families because of my step mom and my Fi only has 1 family because he does not have a relationship with his father. We are having our immediate family sit on our "sides" in the first couple rows but then letting everyone else sit where they want!

SarahPLiz

FI has 5 family members in this country, and the rest of the list is my family and our mutual friends. Our friends will all sit on the right and my family will sit on the left. There is no realistic way to be 50/50, and stressing about it accomplishes nothing.

MrsHaH101010

Invite who you want.  My FI family is much bigger than mine.  Also, my family lives all over the country and his basically all live in Toronto.  We are having a DW with our immediate family and then a party in Toronto a few weeks later.  At the party 85% of the guests will be from his side!  As long as those who are important to each of you are invited, that's all that matters.

MissSkitty

Yeah, I'm over a year to go. I am just overly excited I guess. Plus I am stressed about money and all that. I really don't know about wedding planning, I have only been to one and that was a looong time ago.

mwhitson14

Cutting the guest list down due to money is way different than cutting the guest list just to have more even sides.

LaurenS3112

This is the same position I am in. I have a very large family that all live locally, he is a single child whose family all live out of state. I asked his mom if she had any other people she would like to invite and she gave me a list, however I do no think they will come since they are cousins from other states. We are not going to seat people on sides, but we are assigning tables so his family won't get jumbled around too much.
 It feel that it isn't nessary to have a best man, but maybe you can suggest his father (if they are close) I have heard of that being done before.