Wedding Etiquette Forum

How did you stay calm on your wedding day?

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Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?

  • This is the question that has loomed in my mind for a year and a half.   The wedding is now less than 3 months away and I am so worried about being a sobbing lunatic.  It is really annoying when you see all the articles saying "you should just let the emotions fly" or "its so beautiful when a bride crys".  Well, not this girl..I am the full red face, snot running down, uncontrollable sobber.  I refuse to look like this at my wedding. I cried like this at my high school graduation for pete's sake!  I know as soon as I see my dad it will be all over.  Maybe I can get him to wear a bag on his head til the last second...
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  • I am freaking out as well!  I have exactly one month until my wedding!  I am most nervous about walking down the aisle and standing up there for an hour durning the ceremony.  I am a very anxious/nervous person and even just thinking about it now freaks me out.  Sometimes when I get nervous I forget to breathe and then I feel like passing out and that worrys me.  I need to figure out a way on how I can get past that just for one day so I dont feel that way! 
    I really don't wan to take anyting or drink anything before the ceremony.  Any pointers on relaxation methods? 
    Also, I am a very nervous crier.  I don't want to cry the whole day!  How do I not cry?
  • iMy first wedding, i did nothing  for my nerves. 

    But this second time, I' m going to gut it out until the Ativan and scotch kicks in

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  • I had this same fear, I didn't even think about it until I was at marriage counseling and our pastor started reading through the vows. I felt myself getting really emotional and almost crying...and it was not even my FI reading them. I'm so scared I'm going to blubber through the whole ceremony. I really appreciate all the comfort foods, cd's, and people suggestions. Any suggestions for the sobbing problem? P.s. what is a first look, is it just photos before the wedding? Thanks, Megan
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-stay-calm-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d760969-fe9a-4f32-af28-2e777c2a447aPost:48ec8474-24ab-4d46-a2b4-5c506ef7f113">Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I woke up and I was excited, not nervous. I had mimosas at breakfast and maybe an hour before the ceremony was when I started getting emotional, but not scared-emotional. It was so-freaking-happy-it-was-finally-here-and-everything-is-going-so-well-I-can't-believe-I-pulled-it-off-emotional. I didn't really do anything when that came along.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

    THANK YOU!!! the more i read people's comments, the more nervous I kept getting! haha when i read that i was like yes yes i need to be EXCITED not nervous about the whole day. I get nervous and emotional way too easy, so reading your comment I was like "oh ya, I'm getting married cuz I can't wait to be w/ Matt forever...it's not a death sentence" hahah..ahh it put it in perspective :)

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  • Great question! My wedding is about 2 weeks away and I'm having trouble staying calm already! I'm doing deep breaths and listening to music to try to relax now. I don't know what I'll do as we get closer!
  • Just reading what you all wrote has made me nervous and cry a little....(not ina bad way)
    I am thinking I am going to need a couple drinks before the ceremony, especially being we are doing pics after the ceremony.
    I am thinking about going out to breakfast with my girls and mom before, do you think that will help?
    Oh man, I can't wait until Sept!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-stay-calm-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d760969-fe9a-4f32-af28-2e777c2a447aPost:e76a9b5e-aa44-4b49-9098-2c24f65531f5">Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ugh. I know I am going to be a nervous/excited mess. I always get blotchy and red when I'm nervous, so I'm sure I'll look wonderful lol. Add that to the red, puffy, crying eyes (I am a huge crier - hate it). I'm hoping that deep breaths will do the trick. I definitely don't want to be drunk or anything. We'll see how that works out though. May be more fun that way lol :)
    Posted by sgervais88[/QUOTE]

    Me too! I know I'm going to cry. I'm more worried I won't be able to speak! When I cry it's hard to talk. However, My dad said that just before we walk down the aisle we're going to have a toast. He said he'll have a flask with Sicilian Kisses in it like he did for his wedding.  (Totally not down with being tipsy for the ceremony, but I know a small toast with my dad will totally calm me and be something to remember.) Also, dad is pretty good at making me laugh/giggle so I'm sure he'll say something sweet and silly.
  • I have over a year until my wedding, however I do have a lot of experience with anxiety. I studied music in college and would get SUPER nervous before big performances and auditions. For some performances I did end up taking a beta blocker, however here are some suggestions that might help you avoid medication or alcohol. 

    If you can make time before your wedding, take some introductory yoga classes at a yoga studio. Although a class at the gym is better than nothing, they generally gloss over the basics like really focused breathing and meditation techniques, which will be covered by intro classes at a yoga studio. Ujjayi breathing and simple meditation can do wonders to clam your nerves.

    Also, there are foods and herbs that can reduce anxiety. Passionflower, camomile, pomegranate juice and banana's all reduce anxiety. Also, anything high in antioxidants is supposed to prevent overproduction of stress hormones, so berries, green tea and pomegranate are great to consume leading up to the big day!  
  • My plan is to take a sleeping pill the night before (I've taken these before and have had no side effects), so I ensure a great night's sleep.  Wake up around 8ish and go for a walk on the beach with my mom and dad, sister, and any other family who wants to come around.  Then, I've scheduled a private yoga class for female family and friends at 10.  Come back, shower, have dinner, and then put a fun wedding movie on while we start getting ready and have a mimosa!  Hopefully, I'll be ok!  But, I'm an emotional crier too.  I cry when anyone gets married!   I can't imagine how I'll be when I'm the one walking down the aisle!  
  • I know I plan on drinking lots of WATER. :P  I've already asked my bridesmaids to make sure I am drinkin my water and we get lunch before we get dressed!
    The other thing I plan on...is having a coordinator there to take care of all the random junk for me!
  • I highly recommend deep breathing in a moment of nervousnous!  Always works for me, and a glass of wine on the side to top it off!
  • I've been engaged now for a year and a half. I never really thought it would come around. Just yesterday I realized holy shiz I have less than 7 months to finish everything. And 3 months before the wedding my fiance will be in the fire academy (basically MIA) so if I really want any of his input i only have 4 months. Im already getting butterflies.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-stay-calm-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d760969-fe9a-4f32-af28-2e777c2a447aPost:8075a07a-40ab-4aa6-8dca-860bdaa44eee">Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have over a year until my wedding, however I do have a lot of experience with anxiety. I studied music in college and would get SUPER nervous before big performances and auditions. For some performances I did end up taking a beta blocker, however here are some suggestions that might help you avoid medication or alcohol.  If you can make time before your wedding, take some introductory yoga classes at a yoga studio. Although a class at the gym is better than nothing, they generally gloss over the basics like really focused breathing and meditation techniques, which will be covered by intro classes at a yoga studio. Ujjayi breathing and simple meditation can do wonders to clam your nerves. Also, there are foods and herbs that can reduce anxiety. Passionflower, camomile, pomegranate juice and banana's all reduce anxiety. Also, anything high in antioxidants is supposed to prevent overproduction of stress hormones, so berries, green tea and pomegranate are great to consume leading up to the big day!  
    Posted by rbogner08@gmail.com[/QUOTE]


    Yes, breathing exercises and meditation help me a lot, but sometimes when that panic kicks in there is nothing I can do but take something or freak out and go to the ER. 

    Also, there are food and supplements that can help with anxiety, but you need to talk to your doctor before you take them if you are on other medication. 
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  • I really think that I'll get all hiperactive, 'cuz the wedding is a month away and I just can't wait :D  I'm totally thrilled & excited
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  • This has started to become a concern of mine since I hit the 100 day mark!
    I'm already going to be super emotional because our wedding is on my late father's birthday in addition to marrying my soulmate!
    Yeah I think photos with the photographer before the ceremony and mimosas in the morning while getting my hair and make up done are going to be key for me. My BM's and DOC have promised me that they won't let me stress out about anything so now I'm just worried about the anxious part.
  • I also get red and blotch only when I am drinking or nervous.  I think everyone close to me knows that this will happen. I have prepared everyone to laugh and not make it so serious if I trip or throw up.  I am really afriad of that.
  • I wasn't nervous the day off, honestly. I was more excited than anything. It helped that I had friends in my room the whole morning. Everything went perfectly well that morning, so I guess I got lucky.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-stay-calm-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d760969-fe9a-4f32-af28-2e777c2a447aPost:8075a07a-40ab-4aa6-8dca-860bdaa44eee">Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have over a year until my wedding, however I do have a lot of experience with anxiety. I studied music in college and would get SUPER nervous before big performances and auditions. For some performances I did end up taking a beta blocker, however here are some suggestions that might help you avoid medication or alcohol.  If you can make time before your wedding, take some introductory yoga classes at a yoga studio. Although a class at the gym is better than nothing, they generally gloss over the basics like really focused breathing and meditation techniques, which will be covered by intro classes at a yoga studio. Ujjayi breathing and simple meditation can do wonders to clam your nerves. Also, there are foods and herbs that can reduce anxiety. Passionflower, camomile, pomegranate juice and banana's all reduce anxiety. Also, anything high in antioxidants is supposed to prevent overproduction of stress hormones, so berries, green tea and pomegranate are great to consume leading up to the big day!  
    Posted by rbogner08@gmail.com[/QUOTE]

    If your SN is your real email, change it. It's not wise internet safety.
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  • Oh my!!  Did anyone else start tearing up just reading these responses??  I just looked in the mirror and my chest is covered in red blotches!!  My wedding's still a month and a half away....if I'm this nervous now, how will I ever get through the day of?!!?!!
  • My wedding is at the end of this year and I'm nervous I will become very emotional so I plan to have a radio in the bridal suite prior to the wedding so the girls and I can have a little fun and dance around to let off some stress and laugh before walking down the aisle just to ease the tension.  Laughter is my goal to keep the sentimental parts from happening to early before the big walk. 
  • I am so glad to see this thread!  I'm getting married in a year and I've been crying every step of the way...sometimes just THINKING of the plans and the day gets me teary.

    I think I'm going to borrow the first look picture idea...spending time with my fiance getting our pictures done before the ceremony will probably calm me down and the ceremony will feel like an afterthought.  Plus, we'll get to spend the cocktail hour with our guests!
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