Wedding Etiquette Forum

When do/should we register?

I'm a little confused about when it's appropriate to start setting up a registry for our wedding. FI and I have had a long engagement - we were engaged August 2011 and are getting married August 2013. We weren't planning to register until probably late winter/early spring of next year, but I've had several people tell me that we should consider registering this fall because "people will want to look at it for Christmas gifts." Is that true? We didd get a gorgeous set of Waterford crystal wine glasses from my aunt last year, but she's a second mom to me - I'm not sure if she's a good example of what's likely to happen in terms of Christmas gifts. I'm also afraid of things getting discontinued in 8-9 months. Any advice?
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Re: When do/should we register?

  • Christmas gifts?  Omg, no.  You're not registering for Christmas, you're registering for your wedding.

    Maybe start looking at starting up a registry or two five to six months out from your wedding.  That way, if anyone throws you a shower (or two!) during that time, the registries will be done.  I don't think our registries were done until three months out from our wedding, my shower was 3 weeks out I think. 

    Plus, you don't want to register too early because lots of things will go out of stock, etc.
    panther
  • The standard wedding registry is created about a year from the wedding, but there's plenty of couples that start much earlier/later than that.  Everyone's different and there's really no right or wrong for your creation date.

    Yes, you should designate someone to keep an eye on your registry if you want it to be a surprise.  Things do get discontinued and depending on where you register and for what items, you may encounter that more or less.

    Bedding, towels, luggage and everyday dinnerware is very "seasonal" at most retailers.  Colors are often geared towards the season so you tend to get more pastels during the spring and richer colors during the fall.  That being said, most of the high end crystal and formal china sets are going to stick around unless they're newer patterns.

    A quick check with a knowledgable bridal consultant should give you an idea of which patterns have been around for decades and which are brand new.  That's easily identified if there's little to no serveware for your selected pattern.

    It's nice to have some items for every season and obviously it's hard to find grilling tools in the winter and ornaments in the summer.  Think about what might not be available a few months after fall and put it on your list for possible Christmas gifts.  It's not unheard of for family members to shop from your gift registry for birthdays and other holidays.
  • edited July 2012
    It is true that you want to be careful with things being seasonal or not being carried anymore if you register too far out. We registered in late Nov/early Dec. for a July wedding. We actually DID have relatives (mainly grandparents and our parents) asking if we had set up a registry because they wanted to buy us Christmas gifts off it. I didn't see the issue. They were marked as bought and no one who later attended my showers would buy them then.

    If you set it up early, just check it periodically to make sure everything is still availalbe and in stock, so if not, you can replace it on your registry.


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  • My mom bought some stuff off our registry for Christmas, but I think it was just a convenient way for her to know what I wanted - I wouldn't have registered early just for that reason. 

    We registered about 9 months out, but I wish we'd waited.  Several items we picked had been discontinued by the time the wedding rolled around. 
  • egm900egm900 member
    500 Comments
    Our circle gives gifts at e-parties, so we registered in advance of that, about 11-12 months in advance.  FMIL did purchase some registry items for Christmas, it was nice, they were obviously all things we wanted as opposed to things we needed.  I know my mom has picked up some items for my upcoming birthday, it actually does make it easier, they know it's stuff we want.

    We only had our pots and pans become unavailable between registering and 2 months from the wedding, and it was because the manufacturer discontinued the line.  In the past 2 weeks, we've had multiple items discontinued by the store, but that's out of our control.  We had a shower 10 weeks before the wedding, it's not like we could wait to register.

    Certain items are more likely to be discontinued than others, like bedding.  It probably took me a good 3-4 months to get the registry the way we wanted it, it was very overwhelming trying to choose between brands and stores, etc.  
  • You can register as early as immediately after you get engaged or as late as shortly before your shower or wedding invitations go out, whichever go out earlier. Either way, check it about 2x/month for things that are discontinued or out-of-stock (also for price fluctuations, if you care about the prices).

    We got "Where are you registered?" questions as soon as we announced our engagement, so I set up one registry almost immediately. We did the others after the holiday sales were over and stock and prices had mostly stabilized. That was 9-10 months before the wedding.
  • As PPs have mentioned... discontinuation can be a problem.

    If you decide to start registering now, I'd leave off "sets" of things. Wait until closer to the wedding for place settings and wine glasses, etc. Even towels.

    Stick to sheets, appliances, bakeware, etc... things that aren't part of a big set and if they get discontinued you can easily replace it on the registry with something that isn't.
  • On the sets issue, you can also limit yourself to very stable patterns/brands. We went with Fiesta ware and Macy's store brand for sheets and towels. The prices vary wildly depending on sales, but I'm not worried about discontinuation.
  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_when-doshould-we-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5daf1a95-e0c8-41b1-92fe-a75bc2fa6c2fPost:4083f6f3-fa93-4f9a-8762-4a112e0b1ff6">Re: When do/should we register?</a>:
    [QUOTE]On the sets issue, you can also limit yourself to very stable patterns/brands. We went with Fiesta ware and Macy's store brand for sheets and towels. The prices vary wildly depending on sales, but I'm not worried about discontinuation.
    Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  There's an easy way to know whether something is going to be seasonal or a staple - just look at the reviews (which you should do anyway) and see how far back they date.  Any reviews more than a year old means that the line is something the store tends to keep around.  It's not a perfect rule, but it's pretty darn close.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'll admit, we registered in March for our April 2013 wedding because I graduated from law school in May, and peiople were asking what we needed for our new apartment.  It seemed like the right time to us, and we've had no issues with things getting discontinued.  We're still a ways out, but pretty much everything on our list is a staple - the few things I know are seasonal I put on there because we have birthdays coming up, and they are things I'm going to buy anyway once they go on clearance - I just don't want to miss the start of those sales.  I check our registries fairly regularly so I figured that was the best way to stay informed.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'll also second the comment about it taking awhile.  We tweaked it for ages trying to get the brands, prices, and spread of items right.  We also were pretty rigorous about reading reviews and checking for quality.  As a guest, nothing annoys me more than seeing a registry where the bride and groom obviously didn't think about it and just went scan-gun happy.  Maybe it's judgy, but if I'm going to buy you a $100 coffee maker, I want you to choose a high quality coffee maker that has the functions you need and is the right fit for your lifestyle, etc. KWIM?  So if I were you I'd start researching now.  Spend a few weeks, maybe a month, with a notepad writing down the things  you need as you think of them.  Then think about any "traditional" gifts (ie: china, crystal, etc) you do or don't want to have and start researching patterns and quality.  By mid-fall you should be pretty prepared to at least give it a start.</div>
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