5 bridesmaids just wanna have fun, 1 wants to bring them all down...

Annabelle1227

Has anyone experienced anything like this? It's really wearing on my nerves and no sure how to handle without hurting anyone's feelings. I have one bridesmaid who is BEYOND frugal...to the point of being downright CHEAP. She complains about every dime she has to spend including attending the bachelorette party (it's a night at a casino), also including complaining incessently about contributing to the bridal shower THAT SHE OFFERED TO GIVE!

We (even I, as the bride) have repeatedly let her know that if she can't afford to attend/host, etc. it is perfectly fine and the others will pick up her share. She will not accept this but continues to whine and moan. It's gotten to the point that the others are making decisions without her (which I am sure will hurt her feelings later) but are really forced to if anything is ever going to get done. And needless to say, this hurts ME because I don't want to put anyone in a position that hurts them, but it's hurting me at the same time. What do I do? Any/all advice is welcomed!

quotequeen

If it's about the shower and bach party you should really stay out of it and let your BMs handle it.  At some point they're probably going to say "listen, biatch, either contribute or don't, but we don't want to hear about it anymore."

Annabelle1227

Thank you, Queen! That's EXACTLY what I want to hear and I think you're right about the BM, too...They have just about reached their boiling point.

Knittibell

Ditto- have another bridesmaid or your MOH talk to her and let her know that her behavior really isn't appropriate- if she can't afford it, you'll all help, but please, stop whining about it. Have MOH ask her if she wants everyone to remember the wedding planning process highlights as her complaining... and hope that sorts it out- good luck!

Annie_Warbucks

Yeah I would be all and " so and so I know you don't want to/can't contribute, we we've gone and split the costs 4 instead of 5 ways..." then maybe she would feel bad and suck it up and at least quitherbitching. 

She shouldn't be coming to you with any of that nonsense either. That's rude on her part. 

laladypoet

and if all else fails, know that the sun'll come out tomorrow

Annie_Warbucks

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_5-bridesmaids-just-wanna-fun-1-wants-bring-down-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5dd9225e-7a9a-4e3c-a486-49787f66d73dPost:7867b902-d508-447d-b1f6-a91b507ba3cc">Re: 5 bridesmaids just wanna have fun, 1 wants to bring them all down...</a>:
[QUOTE]and if all else fails, know that the sun'll come out tomorrow
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

<div>bet your gosh darn bottom dollar it will. </div>

dzjenna

Agreed.  You, as the bride should not be dealing with this.  I was in a wedding a few years ago and one of the other bridesmaids was causing all kinds of drama and stress for the bride.  Everyone finally had it on the morning of the wedding and decided that I (apparently I am the best at "straight talk") should pull her aside and let her know that her comments and behavior were distracting the bride.  So I told her that I understood she was having some personal problems of her own, but that venting them to the bride looked like it was starting to stress her out, and that if she could please lock it up, it would make for a better experience for everyone.  She immediately apologized then apologized to the bride, and things went much more stress-free.  Sometimes people just need some good ole' tough love and honesty!  It's your day, let one of the other bridesmaids put her in check!