Guest RSVP's

ktina01

I am getting married in Sept of this year. We are getting ready to order invitations and are at a bit of a stand still.  My mom wants to order RSVP cards to put into the invitations and I think that we should save the money and ask people to RSVP via our wedding website or via an email that we set up for the wedding.  I have been to a number of weddings that have done their RSVP's via email and dont see a problem with it.  But my mom feels like it is tacky.  Would you think it was tacky is someone asked you to RSVP via wedding website or email?

Simply Fated

I can totally see where she would think it's tacky. She comes from a generation that didn't even have computers, let alone internet rsvp's. If she thinks it's tacky, chances are your guests might think so, too.
Do all your guests have access to the internet? Including Great Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Morty?

kipnus

We're asking people to RSVP via our wedding website or by phone. Some older people aren't comfortable with e-mail and internet, so we decided to give them an alternative. I don't like all the extra paper that goes along with RSVP cards and envelopes--I much prefer doing it online! Hopefully this isn't a serious breach of etiquette...

ILoveToRobot

I guess it would depend on the formality of your wedding. I recently attended a wedding that had an rsvp via email. The invitation and wording made it seem very informal. The host ended up with 10 extra people. Id be careful about how you go about doing it. I don't see anything wrong with it if its an informal event.

JoelandLeann

I know my childhood church has a sister parish nearby. One parish does the 4pm Saturday mass where the other does the 7 pm mass. They also have mass in each other churches should one priest be away. My family considered both churches to be our own.

ETA: I'm sorry, I totally answered this in the wrong place. I am not even sure how that happened.

For your question, I think paper invites would be easier to track, but do not think email/internet/phone is a tacky way to RSVP. Better for the environment too!

tenofcups4me

I don't think it's "tacky," but I do think it's very casual, which may or may not be in keeping with your wedding.

I'd be most concerned that I just don't think people take email or web responses as seriously as an "official" paper response so my guess is that you'll have to do more tracking down of guests and the numbers you do get will probably be less reliable. Not based on any personal experiences with wedding RSVPs like that, just on my experiences with internet responses to other events.

SA+Bride

We have not given RSVP cards. We have supplied our telephone numbers, email address and wedding website. My gran actually asked where her RSVP card was ... we had a good giggle. Times have changed and each person is different. I don't think it is tacky at all !!!!

jessicabessica

I don't think it's tacky, but I don't think it would fit with a very formal wedding.  I would provide a phone number in addition to the email/website, for people who don't go online.  

However, if your mom thinks it's tacky, I would say chances are more people from your family might, too, and even if strangers on the internet say not tacky, it's your guestlist that counts.  I view this as a fairly minor thing (you can save some money by doing RSVP postcards), so if you think a chunk of your guestlist is going to roll their eyes at it, I would just buy RSVP cards. 

hoffse

Ok well.... I'm not from the older generation, and I still think it's sort of tacky not to have them.  You can get very informal RSVP cards that match informal wedding invitations if that's the route you're taking.... but given that the invitations and your registry are the two things guests actually have time to contemplate before the whirlwind of the big day I feel like they should be done right.

Personally, I've never received a wedding invitation without a response card.  I know if I did I would notice.  I just received my first save-the-date with a printed address label instead of a handwritten address and I noticed right away and sort of rolled my eyes at the laziness.  I know I'm in the minority here, but it wouldn't surprise me if some of your guests feel like invitations should be done right - and by right I mean done a certain way: invite, reception card (if applicable), response card, possibly an enclosure card, and either pocket folds or inner envelopes.... with the addresses hand-written on the outside.  It's expensive, but I see it as just part of the costs that go along with the wedding, and it sounds like your mom does too. 

Maybe try to save money in some areas where guests won't really participate or have time to think about - and by this I mean flowers, limo, dress (yes, even the dress), shoes, makeup, hair, things that are just for you and not for them.  I think if your mom is telling you it's tacky not to include them then you should take that as a hint that in your circle it's what people do.

HannahK15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5e2770da-cb4c-49dc-8e2f-784ced34da24Post:2859b1bf-2520-4eee-8980-10532129c58b">Re: Guest RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok well.... I'm not from the older generation, and I still think it's sort of tacky not to have them.  You can get very informal RSVP cards that match informal wedding invitations if that's the route you're taking.... but given that the invitations and your registry are the two things guests actually have time to contemplate before the whirlwind of the big day I feel like they should be done right. Personally, I've never received a wedding invitation without a response card.  I know if I did I would notice.  I just received my first save-the-date with a printed address label instead of a handwritten address and I noticed right away and sort of rolled my eyes at the laziness.  I know I'm in the minority here, but it wouldn't surprise me if some of your guests feel like invitations should be done right - and by right I mean done a certain way: invite, reception card (if applicable), response card, possibly an enclosure card, and either pocket folds or inner envelopes.... with the addresses hand-written on the outside.  It's expensive, but I see it as just part of the costs that go along with the wedding, and it sounds like your mom does too.  Maybe try to save money in some areas where guests won't really participate or have time to think about - and by this I mean flowers, limo, dress (yes, even the dress), shoes, makeup, hair, things that are just for you and not for them.  I think if your mom is telling you it's tacky not to include them then you should take that as a hint that in your circle it's what people do.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]


THIS!

mica178

RSVP cards are a newish invention.  Traditionally guests wrote an acceptance note and sent it to the host with their own stationery.  So it's absolutely fine not to do RSVP cards, just make sure you include either a phone number or address for your older guests who are not internet savvy.  And be prepared to track down a bunch of non-responders who are used to RSVP cards and forget to RSVP on their own.

strlzfan11

Mica if I hadn't known better I'd almost think I was reading a response from Kristin#s.

abt87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5e2770da-cb4c-49dc-8e2f-784ced34da24Post:2859b1bf-2520-4eee-8980-10532129c58b">Re: Guest RSVP's</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok well.... I'm not from the older generation, and I still think it's sort of tacky not to have them.  You can get very informal RSVP cards that match informal wedding invitations if that's the route you're taking.... but given that the invitations and your registry are the two things guests actually have time to contemplate before the whirlwind of the big day I feel like they should be done right. Personally, I've never received a wedding invitation without a response card.  I know if I did I would notice. <strong> I just received my first save-the-date with a printed address label instead of a handwritten address and I noticed right away and sort of rolled my eyes at the laziness.</strong>  I know I'm in the minority here, but it wouldn't surprise me if some of your guests feel like invitations should be done right - and by right I mean done a certain way: invite, reception card (if applicable), response card, possibly an enclosure card, and either pocket folds or inner envelopes.... with the addresses hand-written on the outside.  It's expensive, but I see it as just part of the costs that go along with the wedding, and it sounds like your mom does too.  Maybe try to save money in some areas where guests won't really participate or have time to think about - and by this I mean flowers, limo, dress (yes, even the dress), shoes, makeup, hair, things that are just for you and not for them.  I think if your mom is telling you it's tacky not to include them then you should take that as a hint that in your circle it's what people do.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Save-the-dates aren't even necessary. Not sure if you are talking about the return address label, or the guest address label, but c'mon. It's a STD, not the invite. </div><div>
</div><div>To OP, I feel like online RSVPs aren't necessarily going to save you more time because I think you will still have to track people down (maybe more), but if your wedding is more informal, then give your guests alternate places to RSVP, via email or phone. </div>

clcranda

While I don't think it is tacky, I do think it is easier to track like everyone else has said.  Also,  we still have generations who do not use computers.  Would it be possible to think about who would not use the internet and only have a few response cards printed up?  I know when I was looking at invitations, you had to order in groups of 25 and not necessarily all of the same number (response cards, invitations, etc.)  That might solve the problem of those who don't use the computer.

Hope this helps!