Wedding Etiquette Forum

Shower + Wedding Gifts

Not sure if this goes here or R&G, but I thought if you are invited to both the shower and the wedding, you bring a gift to both? My FI's cousin is getting married and we got them a very nice gift for their shower, but also were planning on getting them a gift for the wedding. No one else in the family that came to the shower is planning on bringing/purchasing a wedding gift.
I thought it was one event/one gift, no?
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Re: Shower + Wedding Gifts

  • I don't know how anyone could go to a shower and not bring a gift or to a wedding and not at least bring a card. That said, gift for the shower and card with money for the wedding, thats what I always do. Gifts for the wedding are fine too I think. But I think most brides and grooms would rather take home money after the recpetion. JMO

  • I always do gift off of the registry at the shower, and then a cash gift at the wedding.
  • I think this varies by region.  I give a gift at both, and boxed gifts at the wedding are a lot more common in the south than cards with money.
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  • My family does the gift at the shower and then typically money at the wedding.  Andy's family, from my understanding, only does one or the other. 
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  • edited April 2010
    I agree with PP's. I've never heard of just doing a gift at a shower and not at a wedding. Just give what you can--if it be two nice small gifts, one small gift & money... At the same time, guests aren't obligated to give gifts at a wedding, but I've still never heard of someone not doing so... but I'm sure it happens.
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  • In some circles, they seem to give just one gift.  Really, the shower and/or wedding gifts are for the same purpose and neither can be used until the couple are actually married.

    That said, I always give both if I'm invited to both.
  • I think either choice 2 or choice 4 are acceptible, in my view. At least, I'd do either one. Obviously, I don't care what other people do.
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  • You are not required to accept either invitation just because you received them.  Generally, if you attend, you take a gift.  However, sometimes we've given one really BIG gift at the shower and just a "congrats" card at the wedding with no further gift.  
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  • I love peoples idea of shower: gift and wedding:cash. I think I am going to start using that! I usually do gifts at both but it makes sense to change it up.
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