Wedding Etiquette Forum

head count vs. count for dinner

hi all,

we're hitting a little bit of confusion as relates to the head count for the guest list (the actual number of chairs and actual people attending) versus the count to give to our caterer... for kids. we only have a few little ones on the list (and they're all in the range of 3-6 years old) like our flower girl, ring bearer, and a few other family members.

granted, if the family comes, the kids need a chair, so they'd be counted for that - but would you count them for a dinner, since we're having a buffet and not a plated dinner? (also, i should add that there are no choices for kids' stuff for the buffet.)

thanks :]
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Re: head count vs. count for dinner

  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    If they eat regular food (not infants/toddlers)  they need to be counted.


    edited for clarification
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
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  • I would definitely include them.  Keep in mind that kids might even go through more food if they try stuff and don't like it then fill up on mashed potatoes or something.  You get the picture.
  • Give your caterer a count of everyone who will be there. The last thing you want is people counting heads and you get a bill at the end of the night. I have seen this happen when someone did not count the kids and the caterer did.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2010
    You need to tell the venue your total head count.

    How you  break it depends on the venue.   Some give breaks for kids.  Sometimes it's for guests 18 and younger or 3-12 and free for 3 and under, etc.  Based on their breakdowns that is how I would give the counts.

    For example I said I had 140 adults, 7 kids and 3 vendors for a total of 150.  That is because I had a lower price for the kids and the vendors were free.






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  • Yes, you need to include everyone who is going to eating, no matter how old. See if your caterer will offer you a deal on the kids. Mine was something like 0-3 years were free, 4-5 years were $3.95, 6-10 were $7.95 and 11-13 were $9.95. Since you have so few kids, they might be willing to work with you. And you do need to try to have something that kids will eat, even if it's just green beans, mashed potatoes and pasta.
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  • Check with your venue...

    Obviously tiny tots that are on formula or just starting to eat real food probably not, but for the 3-6 they need to be counted they will eat something.


    Our venue offers a kid's plate so they will be in the count for our venue so they get their special plate dinner.

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  • My brother and his wife had a kids buffet with chicken fingers, mac and cheese, pizza rolls etc that was a hit. It was also less $ for the children as others have mentioned.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • thanks all - dinners are, unfortunately, all the same cost per plate, so there won't be any changes whether we tell the venue (the catering is done in-house) 300 people or 290 adults and 10 kids, etc.

    the menu isn't a fancy haute cuisine deal either (since we wouldn't eat if that were the case) so there won't be an issue with kids not being able to eat what their parents are, so at least it won't require us to add choices to the buffet line to be more kid-friendly.
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  • Yeah, in that case every physical body counts regardless of age.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • I'd ask the venue and ask the parents. 3-6 year old kids will definitely eat something. For kids under 1.5/2, I'd ask the parents. We have 2 year-old children coming and their parents aren't asking for a meal. We'll just make sure there's table space for a high chair. The parents will bring their own food and/or let the children eat off their plates. Just make sure this is okay with your venue.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_head-count-vs-count-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5e7566b4-ac62-4687-9d3c-c2d9e1611039Post:de6c10fd-5008-41c6-9f20-e44da947e239">Re: head count vs. count for dinner</a>:
    [QUOTE]thanks all - dinners are, unfortunately, all the same cost per plate, so there won't be any changes whether we tell the venue (the catering is done in-house) 300 people or 290 adults and 10 kids, etc. the menu isn't a fancy haute cuisine deal either (since we wouldn't eat if that were the case) so there won't be an issue with kids not being able to eat what their parents are, so at least it won't require us to add choices to the buffet line to be more kid-friendly.
    Posted by msange727[/QUOTE]

    Did you ask them whether there is an age cut-off below which you don't have to pay?  I would call and ask that specifically, since you should not have to pay for a 6 mo. old.  The number that you give them is not necessarily the number you have to pay for - if you decide the kids shouldn't count and don't include them, and they think they should count, they're going to charge you for them anyway when they see that it's actually 300 people there and not 290.
    Married 10/2/10
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