Guest list.... vent

traybay88

We wanted a SMALL, I MEAN small wedding - tops 90 people. I really wanted about 75.  but....... i got out voted.. .

Someone explain to me why I need to have my Darling Fiance's cousins, their wives and their children at my wedding? Who for all intensive purposes for this post - he hasn't seen in over 5 years, or talked about once since we've met!! I have never met these family members. He has 5 cousins - plus their 5 spouses and their kids!

vent over - and yes they are all invited, again I saved face. I just always thought you invite people you want and are apart of your life to your wedding, not a cousin you haven't seen in 5 years. And no my cousins are not invited - sorry if i haven't seen you in ten years, i don't want you there.  

ootmother2

You get no argument from me on  this one!

BinxRose

I won't argue with you on this one. Though I will say, if you are the only one paying, you have every right to say "no." But if FI's family is helping to pay, sorry, they get to invite the cousins.

sbelle85

I guess now you can just hope that since they haven't seen him in 5 years they won't attend anyway!

Simply Fated

Are your in-laws the one paying?

traybay88

my Fiance doesn't care at all if they come - it was my darling future mil. She said they had to be invited - so they were... And no his parents are not helping pay for our wedding at all!

I guess I am just a push over and invited them to please her but man o man - i wouldn't come to a cousins wedding i hadn't seen in 5 years (unless of course we talked on a daily bases, or there was a reason we hadn't seen each other in 5 years)

strlzfan11

It all depends on family dynamics (in addition to who's actually footing the bill), but I understand why you feel the way you do.

BinxRose

If his family is not helping at all, I definately would not have caved! But props to you for avoiding conflict.

MyUserName1

If they aren't paying and he doesn't care, then I wouldn't have caved.

Also, it's "intents and purposes"  pet peeve.

traybay88

to my user name... sorry and thanks!

caterpillar85

Some families are close some aren't. My family is kind of big, and most of my family is close, but I have cousins and great aunts that I rarely see, but I feel they should at least be invited because they have, at one time, been a part of my life. My FI on the other hand, is inviting his immediate family and his grandma and boyfriend. That's it. No cousins or aunts or anything...

And chances are some of those family members you invited won't come, so bullet dodged, but you never know... your wedding could rekindle family relationships and you would "win" friends out of the deal!

Caroli1210

I would definitely be frustrated and don't blame you a bit for venting. That's absurd but you were nice to be accommodating. FYI- it's actually " for all intents and purposes" not intensive.

ootmother2

I  adore "for all intensive purposes".  It sounds so dramatic!

MrsGandthebeag

It's also "a part" not "apart"

ali585

Girl, I feel you! FH and I wanted a smallish wedding with 100 guests invited, tops. That number doubled to 200 when my parents insisted on inviting their gigantic extended families (including relatives I've never met or haven't seen since I was a baby) and some of their friends who barely know me. We protested but my parents are holding the pursestrings, so we decided to just let it go. Take comfort in knowing that not everyone will come!

Dont AskMeAgain

I know this is bad etiquette, but uninvite them. If they are not paying & your fiance don't care, why should you?  Tell your mother in law, there's not enough room in the budget (it's ok to lie a little to avoid a major comflict).