Wedding Etiquette Forum

should i invite cousin's baby mama's boyfriend?

I really need help! My fiance's cousin's daughters are going to be in our wedding. The thing is- their parents are not together and their mother has a boyfriend, who my fiance and I have never met. I want to invite everyone's significant others, but this is really complicated. She lives in his parent's house with the kids and he has his own place. Who should sit with his parents? and where should the kids sit? My fiance has informed me that having a kids table is not what's done at his family's weddings. Instead, people are seated by immediate family. Should we invite her boyfriend of would that make things awkward? HELP!

Re: should i invite cousin's baby mama's boyfriend?

  • Please don't use the term "baby mama."  I am confused - fi's cousin is the dad of the 2 girls who are going to be in the wedding, but he and the mother of his children don't live together and are not a couple?  If that's the case, just invite the cousin and his children.  I see no reason to invite their mom and her boyfriend. 
  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    You should probably have your FI ask his cousin about that.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • LD1970LD1970 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I get the feeling that the kids' mother is on the guest list because she lives in the cousin's parents' house.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    So if I'm reading this right, i'm wondering why the "baby mama" is invited. She's not a relation, and she's not in a relationship with a relation. Can the kids not be in the wedding if she's not there? Can't their dad (your FI's cousin, right?) just bring them?

    That is unless you like her and want her to be there. In which case, yes, she should be invited with her significant other.
    Lizzie
  • Nice first post, MUD troll.
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-cousins-baby-mamas-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5fec9778-8e43-4a65-854e-24b426041ba1Post:62cbab45-90be-4ddb-93a4-5edfd75cad96">Re: should i invite cousin's baby mama's boyfriend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I get the feeling that the kids' mother is on the guest list because she lives in the cousin's parents' house.
    Posted by LD1970[/QUOTE]

    Oh, that makes sense. I sort of skipped over that part I think.
    Lizzie
  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    You lost me at "baby mama". 
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  • I see no reason to invite her.  Sharing an address with FI's aunt and uncle isn't good enough.

  • Well, we do really like her and feel like she's a part of the family. I only used the term baby mama to make it easier to understand. I don't really like the term either. But where should they sit? I would feel bad making her sit away from her children, but I think putting her and her bf with the kids' dad would be awkward for all of them.
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    It couldn't be any more awkward than their everyday life right? I mean she's living with his parents -- they must all get along pretty well, right?

    Lizzie
  • I wouldn't invite her.  The kids will already have their dad there, so why is it necessary to have the other parent if she's not still with your FI's cousin?  And then also her boyfriend?  Personally, I'd call those 2 seats better spent on people you actually know.  If you're still close with her, that's one thing, but if it were me, I still wouldn't.  It could get too messy and drama-ridden, and nobody wants that at their wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-cousins-baby-mamas-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5fec9778-8e43-4a65-854e-24b426041ba1Post:4103724a-076b-41e9-86cf-af6a1026e508">Re: should i invite cousin's baby mama's boyfriend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, we do really like her and feel like she's a part of the family.<strong> I only used the term baby mama to make it easier to understand</strong>. I don't really like the term either. But where should they sit? I would feel bad making her sit away from her children, but I think putting her and her bf with the kids' dad would be awkward for all of them.
    Posted by lindy11789[/QUOTE]

    Thank you, because "mother of his children" is so difficult for us to comprehend.
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  • lapcanlapcan member
    10 Comments

    Sounds like you have a lot of baby mama drama...sigh...

  • salt78salt78 member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-cousins-baby-mamas-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5fec9778-8e43-4a65-854e-24b426041ba1Post:74e7c320-911f-47ab-94d8-eb2157ca28fe">Re: should i invite cousin's baby mama's boyfriend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: should i invite cousin's baby mama's boyfriend? : Thank you, because "mother of his children" is so difficult for us to comprehend.
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    <div>*snort*</div>
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  • Sure you like her, but how does FI's cousin feel about having her there?  I wouldn't want to make it awkward and uncomfortable.  Surely she can understand that.
  • edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-invite-cousins-baby-mamas-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5fec9778-8e43-4a65-854e-24b426041ba1Post:62bb92fc-6972-4fb9-8905-9d5369e24a2f">Re: should i invite cousin's baby mama's boyfriend?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Please don't use the term "baby mama."  I am confused - fi's cousin is the dad of the 2 girls who are going to be in the wedding, but he and the mother of his children don't live together and are not a couple?  If that's the case, just invite the cousin and his children.  I see no reason to invite their mom and her boyfriend. 
    Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]


    This is my vote.  No reason for her or her bf to be invited.  FI's cousin can bring his children.

    ETA: Talk to FI's cousin about it, I would let him decide what he thinks is best and go with that.
  • Talk to the cousin.  I would likely avoid inviting her and her bf, though.
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  • Since you are friendly with her, I'd invite her.  But I woudln't invite her BF.  That's just awkward.
  • I wouldn't invite her at all, unless you're good friends and if you're good friends then you would need to invite her boyfriend.  Just invite the cousin, he can keep an eye on his own kids.  She doesn't have to be invited just because she's the mom.
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  • SALT-- you took the words right out of my mouth hahah
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