NWR-Birthday Party Invite Etiquette

michellep1

I would never dream of mentioning gifts on a wedding invite, however I'm wondering if the same rules apply to birthday party invitations.  My sister & I are throwing my mother a surprise 60th party.  We were hoping that everyone could bring a favorite memory or something of my mother and then we're going to make a scrapbook with them.  We're going to have scrapbooking supplies for everyone to make their own page so its a group effort.  Is it tacky to write something along the lines of, "In lieu of a gift, we ask that you bring your favorite memory of Loretta...."

We can very easily write "Please bring your favorite memory", I just don't want people to feel obligated to bring a gift so I thought that might be a good way of slipping it in there.  What do you ladies think?

MyUserName1

Technically, that would not be proper etiquette.  That being said, I would not side-eye it if I received that invitation.

StephBeanWed61502

I know it's technically bad etiquette to say "in lieu of gift" but in this situation, I'd really appreciate the direction.  I never quite know whether to bring a gift or not to an adult's birthday party - sometimes, it seems like everyone shows up with a gift, and sometimes, no one does.  Confusing. 

Also, I love the scrapbook idea!

ILoveToRobot

I wouldn't mention gifts. Just say something about bringing the memory and leave it at that.

whitsy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-birthday-party-invite-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6054ba1c-5087-4395-ba00-10793e8fa378Post:146718a2-b9d4-4862-b362-460d4f726821">Re: NWR-Birthday Party Invite Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't mention the gift, and just write something like "Please bring your favorite 'Loretta' story or memory!  Sister and I will be putting together a scrapbook after the party!"
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Yeah, this is what I was going to say. Also, if you're providing scrapbooking materials, does everyone need to know ahead of time to bring something? If they bring it, is that what will go straight into the book? Or will you redo it to fit a theme or color scheme?

tenofcups4me

The "proper etiquette" answer is that you don't mention gifts on any invitation. Personally I think that's silly, especially when the request is for no gifts for an adult birthday party or an alternate like what you're proposing.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-birthday-party-invite-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6054ba1c-5087-4395-ba00-10793e8fa378Post:3478bbaf-3740-48d4-884a-3d3d40657443">Re: NWR-Birthday Party Invite Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Technically, that would not be proper etiquette.  That being said, I would not side-eye it if I received that invitation.
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]


This. I might do a separate little insert explaining the whole idea.

"In lieu of gifts, please bring your favorite "memory" of Loretta. We will have scrapbooking supplies and everyone will be able to create a page around their contribution. After the party, it will go into a scrapbook for Loretta to keep."

Avion22

The only thing I would find confusing is HOW DOES ONE "BRING" a "MEMORY"?   Do you want me to think of a memory ahead of time so that I have a story in mind?  Write down a story about her? Do you want me to bring fun pictures?  Ticket stubs?  Write a poem?   I would need a little more direction, or else I would be calling you....

But I think the idea is lovely, and the concept ("in lieu of gifts") sounds fine to me.