Wedding Etiquette Forum

Wedding was yesterday -- potential missing cards?

Hey guys,  I had my wedding yesterday and we just finished opening and reading all the cards.  It seems like there are some cards missing from a significant number of notable guests (e.g. father of the bride), and I'm concerned they were left somewhere rather than just not written in the first place.  I want to ask about the cards because if they ARE missing, we could try to track them down.  It's not at all that I'm offended or wanting more gifts (although if there is a cash gift in the card, that is an additional concern if the card is missing).  I realize people can overlook seemingly obvious things when they are preoccupied with all the other stuff going on, so I wouldn't be angry with anyone who didn't give me a card.  I'm trying to figure out a way I can ask someone if they got us a card without making them feel embarrassed if they actually didn't.

Re: Wedding was yesterday -- potential missing cards?

  • Given that we're talking about your own father, I would give him a call and explain that you were worried that some cards might be missing and ask if he left you a card. It may be that he and the others you're 'missing' didn't give you anything, and normally if it were any other guest I wouldn't suggest asking- but in light of the fact we're talking about your father, I think it's safe to ask. 
  • ditto sun.  You can certainly ask your own dad about his card to see if it's missing or not.
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  • Agree with PPs. 

    After opening all of our cards and gifts we had 4 guests/couples that didn't give anything.  The only one I said something to was a good friend of mine 2 days later because he had specifically said something to me about his card and check he wrote.  So I wanted to let him know that his card was missing more to avoid his checking account being off from a check not cashed.  He told me he found it in his coat pocket and would get it to me.  Another one was one of my friends parents, and I was really surprised, but then they sent it in the mail a couple days later saying they were so sorry they forgot it.  The other 2 didn't give a gift which is fine. 

    Since it is your dad I would call and ask him, saying your concerned that some are missing, then go from there.
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  • We also had a handfulof people who we didn't have anything from, and had the same concerns.  We asked 2 good friends who we knew we could be honest with about why we were asking, and they both said no problem, I forgot and mailed it or I mailed you a registry gift.  A couple others we got cards/gifts a few days later. 3 people let me know they forgot card/envelope at home and will get to us soon.  There are still a few outstanding, but not enough to be concerned anymore that anyone dipped into the card box.  However, we do have one mystery registry gift that arrived and had a cute message on the insert but no name! So no idea who it's from. We will probably wait another week (our wedding was Aug 14) and ask the couple of people left if they sent it if we can't find anything out from BBB as to who sent it.
  • Congratulations on your marriage!  


    I'd ask your dad, but not be too surprised if some of the others simply didn't give a  gift or card.  At our wedding, there were a handful of folks (some, frankly, pretty surprising) who didn't give us a card or gift.  We received a couple of gifts after the fact; but not from everyone.  

  • definitely ask your dad.

    as for other wedding guests, they have some time (I've heard up to a year, but I think that's pretty rude) to send you a gift.  Some people just won't get you a gift, or will mail it to you after the wedding.  So wait.  We were married 3 weeks ago and did not receive gifts from about 60 couples (435 invited)
  • We got (and are still getting) a lot of presents after the wedding.  Also some people just don't give gifts for whatever reason.  But if you think your dad gave you a card I would just ask him.
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  • We were married on the 8th and still getting some cards in.  and of course some 'missing' ones! 

  • Oops, I meant father of the groom, but it's basically the same in terms of the responses I think?  Except DH asking him instead of me. :P
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