NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?

Birdie1483

OP, I was paranoid after I graduated college as well. You hear so much of "watch your drink, carry mase, don't walk through campus with earphones on" that you think everyone is out to get you. When I lived in my first apartment after college, I literally baricaded my door when I went to bed at night. It gets better. Trust me!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-am-just-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6243b40b-27ec-4759-be2a-f74d6ede31bePost:a0509bbf-b9b7-4c44-acad-d4d6507eb29c">Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]In a sales position, you will more than likely be expected to cold call on businesses, both by phone and in person.  I think putting it out there right now that you are uncomfortable with strangers is going to effectively remove you from the pool of applicants.  I feel that ensuring your safety is something you need to do quietly in this situation (do your research on the company, arm yourself in whatever manner you feel is appropriate) and don't mention these concerns to the hiring manager.  If you do some research and are still uncomfortable to the point where you don't want to do this, then don't. 
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

I agree 100%.

ECI1151

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-am-just-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6243b40b-27ec-4759-be2a-f74d6ede31bePost:48e57efa-6ef7-4d00-a863-3bb69b73682c">Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, I was paranoid after I graduated college as well. You hear so much of "watch your drink, carry mase, don't walk through campus with earphones on" that you think everyone is out to get you. When I lived in my first apartment after college, I literally baricaded my door when I went to bed at night. It gets better. Trust me!
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

LOL thanks!! I am from a city that is just outside of Atlanta. Its very safe. We actually have the lowest crime rate in the state. Growing up I was never overly paranoid about making sure my car is locked or the doors to my house are locked. However, FI is from a city where crime is really bad. His dad is a cop and works on the homicide unit so FI was always making sure things are locked and taking extra precautions and stuff. It kind of rubbed off on me a little to much lol. Now im more paranoid about stuff then he is!

tidetravel

Like Birdie(?) said, simply being cautious will deter any potential bad stuff that may occur.  Part of my job requirement is that I board and clear international arriving cargo vessels.  I do this alone, unarmed, at any time of day or night.  The crew is 99% of the time completely male, often hasn't been home for months at a time, and there are a lot of places one could stash a body on a ship that large.  Everytime I go on board, I text/call DH to let him know when I board the ship and when I get off.  He knows that if he hasn't heard from me in an hour, that something's wrong, and has a number to call just in case.  There's a difference between being cautious, but proactive and paranoid.   

ECI1151

Okay, I feel so much better after everyones replies!! I really appreciate it!

L-Bride

I feel like the people who are overly paranoid are the ones who these type of things happen to. I swear the paranoia attracts it.

ECI1151

L- lol dont tell me that!

FutureMrsTR

My first thought was how awfully uncomfortable I would be in a car with a stranger all day, but then I realized that's why I'm not a salesperson and never will be.

kikibaby

I had to spend the day with 2 different strangers in cars right after I got this job- 1 female and 1 male.  I didn't know either of them.  But it was totally fine.  It never even crossed my mind to be worried about them killing me- I had to put my trust in the company, and it was clear these were senior employees that they were sending me out with. 

So, I guess I think you're being a little ridiculous.  Just relax.

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-am-just-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6243b40b-27ec-4759-be2a-f74d6ede31bePost:b8259c0a-6e05-45d0-ab7e-b774b37273f5">Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous? : LOL thanks!! I am from a city that is just outside of Atlanta. Its very safe. We actually have the lowest crime rate in the state. Growing up I was never overly paranoid about making sure my car is locked or the doors to my house are locked. However, FI is from a city where crime is really bad. His dad is a cop and works on the homicide unit so FI was always making sure things are locked and taking extra precautions and stuff. It kind of rubbed off on me a little to much lol. Now im more paranoid about stuff then he is!
Posted by ECI1151[/QUOTE]

I understand everything you just said. My brother (who bought me the stun gun) keeps a gun in every room of his house. I grew up on the good side of town and kind of freaked when I moved into my current house that didn't have working locks on any of the windows. I still won't walk my dog alone in my neighborhood.

With that said, I don't think you have too much to worry about in this situation. Since this seems to be a common practice with outside sales rep positions, I would assume there would be some type of procedure that they go through to ensure Jeffrey Dahmer doesn't apply for a position at the company and pick you up on your first day of the ride along. :)

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-am-just-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6243b40b-27ec-4759-be2a-f74d6ede31bePost:f6770011-1dbb-4485-8235-078e65f6a4d0">Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]My first thought was how awfully uncomfortable I would be in a car with a stranger all day, but then I realized that's why I'm not a salesperson and never will be.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Yeah I agree. I dread the 6 story elevator ride in the morning when I'm forced to make conversation with people that I see everyday. I don't think I could handle an entire day of chit-chat with a stranger.

FutureMrsTR

And really, the sales rep who will be taking you around has just as much reason to believe YOU could be a psycho.  So there's that.

Snippylynn

I guess I'm the weirdo who likes to be stuck with new people?  lol...

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-am-just-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6243b40b-27ec-4759-be2a-f74d6ede31bePost:da096fe4-897b-47d9-a640-a60a4a878f7e">Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]And really, the sales rep who will be taking you around has just as much reason to believe YOU could be a psycho.  So there's that.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Very good point.  He has more reason to believe since nobody can vouch for you, whereas the company can vouch for him.

I have to disagree with L-bride though about the paranoid being attacked more.  Most attackers say that they go after the ones fiddling through their purses, or talking on their cell phones.  If you are alert and looking around you and are aware of your surroundings its less likely to happen, or at least you'll be more prepared if it happens.  Also, someone who is paranoid likely won't walk down a dark alley alone.  There is one corner of our complex that is really dark, is lined with thick bushes, and is right up against the freeway.  I won't walk the dog back there at night for that reason.

L-Bride

I think this way because I have a couple of friends who are over paranoid and scared about things. Things like taking the train into the city on weekends or even taking a walk with me after work (after 6pm) because it's getting dark.
Recently in the past 2 years one of them was attacked in a parking lot and the other has been mugged.

I'm all for being careful not to put myself into compromising situations but sometimes there's nothing you can do about bad things happening.

ECI1151

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-am-just-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6243b40b-27ec-4759-be2a-f74d6ede31bePost:da096fe4-897b-47d9-a640-a60a4a878f7e">Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]And really, the sales rep who will be taking you around has just as much reason to believe YOU could be a psycho.  So there's that.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Good point!

I guess one of the things i'm most worried about is once I get there if I do feel really uncomfortable about the situation or the person i'm going to be riding around with I don't really know what I would do.

Like once I'm there I feel like there is no backing out.

sister2groom

Companies are all about liability these days, so I'm pretty sure they have a very good incentive not to put you in a car with a sex offender or axe murderer.

Also, I don't know how to say this in a way that wouldn't freak you out, because this is kind of morbid but here goes. If you tell friends and family when and where and what company this is with, then if anything did happen to you (like you disappeared off the face of the earth) the police would kind of know exactly who did it. I mean, the salesman may be a stranger to you, but it's not like getting in the car with some random stranger because if you never came from the interview it would be pretty obvious who the police should track down.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-am-just-being-ridiculous?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6243b40b-27ec-4759-be2a-f74d6ede31bePost:c477b17b-6b8c-4a3a-b94d-5771796ee212">Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Am I just being ridiculous? : Good point! I guess one of the things i'm most worried about is once I get there if I do feel really uncomfortable about the situation or the person i'm going to be riding around with I don't really know what I would do. <strong>Like once I'm there I feel like there is no backing out.
</strong>Posted by ECI1151[/QUOTE]

Well, if you actually felt like your life was threatened, you could just not get back into the car with them.  Are you worried about insulting them if you think they're going to kill you?  Not that I think that's going to happen.  At all.  And if you're uncomfortable, then eh...you're uncomfortable for one day and you know maybe this isn't the field for you.

courtski2004

If for any reason you feel uncomfortable and you ask them to take you back to your car, they have to. If they do not, that is considered kidnapping.
 I worked for a company that sounds similar to where you are going to interview, and the people who take you on the 'day of observation' would benefit if you were to take the position (if this is a mid-level marketing company.) They most likely wouldn't want to jeopardize their own advancement within the company by being a creeper while showing you a typical day.
With all that being said, be sure to research them extensively prior to the interview.
The BBB will be a valuable resource. If you are expected to go on an 8 hour ride-along with no pay, that serves as a red flag for me. If they avoid conversations about compensation, what type of direct marketing they perform or say that they are training branch managers, run.