Wedding Etiquette Forum

Response card issue - please help!

Our response cards are postcards, and on the back, there is the M___________ and then the number of accepts/declines, then a space to list each guest individually, so I can make a place card for each guest.  The issue is that my FMiL's friend apparently took this to be a free-for-all, and is bringing 4 of her children, whom I have never met, and my FI has only met a few times, years ago.  The envelope CLEARLY stated. Mr. & Mrs. __________ .  We are in a tight spot financially, we don't know these people well, and I'm not sure what the proper thing to do here would be.  We originally only wanted an adult only reception - but with a few kids in our wedding party, we decided that it wouldn't be terrible to invite the kids from our immediate family, it's only about 10-15 kids (and most of our families want a night out without the kids anyway).  Do we suck it up and pay for these stranger children to eat? Or should someone mention this to her? I don't want to be rude, but we have a B list of people we'd really like to invite, rather than her adding 4 (of her 5) children without asking or anything.. thanks in advance =)

Re: Response card issue - please help!

  • Thank you! That was my first thought, but his mom's kinda dramatic, and we don't want it to turn into something bigger than it is.  But I'll try to talk to his mom about it. 
    And thanks for the heads up on the "B List".  We've just recently gotten closer with some people we'd love to invite, but they understand the circumstances.  Thank you!

  • Don't worry about being rude. You're just correcting a misunderstanding. She's the rude one by assuming her children are invited.
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  • Definitely talk to her about it. Just explain that you're tight on budget and can't afford to have extra guests.

    However, a B list is extremely rude. Please don't do that.
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