I need help....right now my guest list has 177 people on it (counting me and groom, wedding party, and people that are helping with wedding).....BUT my location only has space for 130 (again including wedding party)....I know I can't hope or plan on 47 people RSVP'ing "NO" so how can I cut back on my guest list??? Is it ok to state that there is an age requirement in order to avoid small children (under 12 for example)? Also my grandparents gave me a list of VIP's however, they also stated some will not come to the wedding (as they are 90), would it be acceptable to not invite them and just send them an announcement of our marriage after the fact??? Our guest list really is one of the last things on the to-do list so I could really use some help!!!!
Re: Tips on Cutting Guest List?????
Is your venue booked? or is it a possiblity to find a venue with a larger capacity?
Anxiously awaiting baby #1! Baby BOY Due: May 30, 2013!
One thing I did was go through our parents' lists with my fellow and asked him, "Do you know X?" If he didn't know them, and I didn't know them, they got cut. We're inviting a LOT of people from his side (his dad's old Navy buddies, his mom's girlfriends), but my rule of thumb is if neither of us have met them, they're not making the cut. Number one, guests lists have to be cut to fit the location, and number two, it's just awkward introducing yourself to someone on their wedding day.
[QUOTE]One thing I did was go through our parents' lists with my fellow and asked him, "Do you know X?" If he didn't know them, and I didn't know them, they got cut. We're inviting a LOT of people from his side (his dad's old Navy buddies, his mom's girlfriends), but my rule of thumb is if neither of us have met them, they're not making the cut. Number one, guests lists have to be cut to fit the location, and number two, it's just awkward introducing yourself to someone on their wedding day.
Posted by ingramnusz[/QUOTE]
I was trying to avoid having people at my wedding that I don't know....but my FMIL has asked to invite a few of he friends. Since they have a smaller family (and I have a larger one) I said that's fine. It really doesn't bother me but I have no idea who these people are so I'm dreading the awkward "Oh hi, nice to meet you....welcome to me wedding" type convo lol.
Anyway, to the original question. I am not inviting any kids....none. All of my cousins are 17 or older. We have 2 exceptions....my 12 year old cousin and my fiancés 6 year old cousin. They are first cousins so of course they are invited. But thats it. We're not including friends kids or anything like that. We have also decided not to invite any co-workers. I have 1 old co-worker that I'm inviting because we've become really good friends since we worked together like 4 years ago. And my fiance has one on his list since they still have remained friends. I work for a huge company and I'm friendly with basically my whole department of about 30 people. include SO's and you're looking at 60 lol. So we had to set some ground rules like that.
With that said, I would not include children, or if you do make sure there are very clear lines drawn, such as only immediate family and WP members children. You can also cut plus ones for people who are truly 100% single. Personally, we cut several acquaintances that neither of us had seen in the last 6 months (unless they lived a plane ride away) or people we hadn't talked to in over a year.
GL!
I would cut in this order:
1. Kids
2. Dates for people who are truly single
3. "Friends" you haven't had a meaningful conversation with in the past year
4. Extended family (any more distant than 1st cousins)
My wedding is in July and we are having the same issues too! We also are having people ask if they can bring people even though we added the line on our response card, "_____ number of seat(s) have been reserved for you" and filled in the number before sending them so there would be no confusion.
Here are some things we did:
1. No Children except immediate family
2. If guests are truly single, no significant others- who knows, maybe they will meet someone there!
3. If the groom, or I haven't spoken to them in the past year and there aren't extreme circumstances like being out of the country, etc. then they can't come.
4. Stick to the room requirements.- One thing we said to our friends who insisted in brining somone was that we love them so much, it was important for them to be there rather than not invite them so someone else could have had a plus one. We also put it into perspective because people think that it's JUST the food as to why they can't have a plus one. In reality, if you add another person and it throws your count off, you have to get an additional table, linens, flatware, dinner ware, glasses, centerpieces, favors, etc. It all adds up.
In the end, remember that it is one day and really stick to your beliefs on it. You don't want to over extend your wallet just to appease your invitee's friend at the time. In the end, if they are really as great of a friend or family member as you think they are, then they will understand.
Whatever you do, don't exclude the three that you are close to just because you're trying to be fair to the ones who aren't really a part of your life anyway.
As for cutting down the list, I agree with what others are saying. We are not having any children below 16 and are relooking at the list. We've limited our parents friends to 5-6 couples each (both our parents are remarried) and relooking at family/cousins/friends. It's tough, but we are paying ourselves. Our room requires at least 175 and I'm trying to keep our list as close to 200 as possible. We're a little over right now, but I think we'll be ok.
Another thing we are doing is prioritizing and having a "B" list. It sounds horrible, I know, but as long as we send them out in a reasonable amount of time, it will be fine and no one will realize the difference!
Good Luck!
n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tips-on-cutting-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:62b11382-47f8-431b-b755-b339b296b4eePost:f326bc15-b433-435e-85bd-db27efcd200c">Tips on Cutting Guest List?????</a>:
[QUOTE]I need help....right now my guest list has 177 people on it (counting me and groom, wedding party, and people that are helping with wedding).....BUT my location only has space for 130 (again including wedding party)....I know I can't hope or plan on 47 people RSVP'ing "NO" so how can I cut back on my guest list??? Is it ok to state that there is an age requirement in order to avoid small children (under 12 for example)? Also my grandparents gave me a list of VIP's however, they also stated some will not come to the wedding (as they are 90), would it be acceptable to not invite them and just send them an announcement of our marriage after the fact??? Our guest list really is one of the last things on the to-do list so I could really use some help!!!!
Posted by malittamay[/QUOTE]