Some kids allowed?

mepayne

The 8-year-old twins I want for my flower girl/ring bearer are part of a HUGE family. I want them at my wedding, but, in trying to keep it as small as possible, I don't want their family's 7 other kids. I don't mind kids at my wedding, but I want to keep it down to just the 2 flower girls, ring bearer, and immediate family. How do I do that without sounding rude?

lyndausvi

I'm all about inviting some kids and not others.  But it only works well if (1) there is a clear cut off and (2) the cut off does not split up siblings.

I would get rid of the FG before I would split up the family.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-allowed-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63289c3b-aa56-46a7-b139-23c8215c6250Post:19424c2d-2069-47f1-90c4-4009917ab32d">Some kids allowed?</a>:
[QUOTE]The 8-year-old twins I want for my flower girl/ring bearer are part of a HUGE family. I want them at my wedding, but, in trying to keep it as small as possible, I don't want their family's 7 other kids. I don't mind kids at my wedding, but I want to keep it down to just the 2 flower girls, ring bearer, and immediate family. How do I do that without sounding rude?
Posted by mepayne[/QUOTE]

<div>FG and RB are okay to be the exception to the no kids rule because they are part of the WP.  However, I don't think it's right to split up a family if they have 7 other kids that you wouldn't be inviting.  </div>

jessicabessica

I don't think there's a polite way to invite some kids from one family and not their siblings.  If I were the parents, I might be kind of put off that you wanted two of my kids to do things in your wedding, but didn't think it was worthwhile to include my other kids even as guests.  I think you should either invite all the kids in that family or none of them, which would mean not having the twins in the wedding party.  

CassieeK

I agree you probably shouldn't split a family.  The parents could be offended by that.

mica178

I think it's a bad idea to only invite 2 of the 9 siblings, if the other kids are still at home. In addition to the problems mentioned by the PPs, you'd be putting the parents in the unique position of having to watch over kids at the reception and still hire a babysitter.  That's a lose lose situation, in my opinion.

I suggest that you either skip the flower girls and have no kids at your wedding, or have the flower girls and invite their siblings as guests.

Karen's MOH

Think of it from the kids perspective-- I know, as a child, I would have been pretty upset if one of my sibings was invited to something but not me. And it's awkward for the family. I would invite all those 9 kids and maybe hire a babysitter so they can do fun kid things in another room, if that's an option, during the reception. I think you really cannot invite just the two.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-allowed-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:63289c3b-aa56-46a7-b139-23c8215c6250Post:19424c2d-2069-47f1-90c4-4009917ab32d">Some kids allowed?</a>:
[QUOTE]How do I do that without sounding rude?
Posted by mepayne[/QUOTE]

You don't. Forgo the FG and RB you have in mind and choose someone without 7 other siblings, or forget the cute child props and don't have children in your WP.

Good luck with your planning!

blush64

I think most people agree it's fine to only have the children in the WP invited to the reception but I just think it's wrong to split up siblings. (as other PP have said)

As a parent I would not let only one or two of  my children attend a wedding no matter if they were in the WP or not. It wouldn't be fair to my other kids.

banana468

I think it's fine to invite some kids and not others.

That said, I think you're opening up a huge can of worms to ask some children to be in your wedding while not wanting to invite the rest of the kids.