Not inviting Uncles/Aunts to wedding.... How to convey that information

kikirst33

My Mom has not talked three of her siblings for many years.  They were not on her invite list and were not on my radar to have on mine as I have not seen them for years.

Today I posted something on facebook and one of my alientated Aunts asked when the wedding date was. 

I don't want this relative to think that they'll be invited. They weren't even on my "C" invite list.  I'm not planning on changing our invite list to add these aunts/uncles as it would be a huge issue for my mom, but what/how do I respond to the question? 

Thoughts? 

OliveOilsMom

What exactly have you posted on FB? 

You can always give a vague answer about we haven't even thought about it yet.  We are just enjoying being engaged. 

But if you said, Going to see the Florist to talk about centerpieces!  It would seem to me that you have already set on a date.  So you can't be vague in your answer.

StephBeanWed61502

I start to post answers, then I read MilkDuds' response, and realize she's already said it all, and more succinctly than I was planning to say it.

Darn you, Duds, with your stellar advice skills!  :-)

kikirst33

I have been avoiding posting about the wedding on FB. I forgot that my Pinterest account is linked to FB and pinned a photo to my wedding board.  Oops.

ElisabethJoanne

Tricky one if these aunts are your facebook friends. I think it's OK to post your engagement on facebook, and I've posted silly things about how I now get ads for plastic surgery, but nothing public about general wedding planning. Basically, I treat facebook the same as I treat casual conversations with casual acquaintances.

And I'd continue the same here. Answer her question on the vague end ("next winter" not "December 30"), and throw out "small" and "intimate" if you can.

niobesmum

I agree. If your alienated aunts/uncles are your friends on FB and you dont want to invite them to the wedding, then dont mention anything else about your wedding on FB. Public postings on FB gives everyone a right to comment and ask about it.

DramaGeek

"Next fall.  How are you and Uncle Jerry doing?"

Starqueg

I had this happen too.  My mom's estranged half brother basically told me that he expects an invitation.  I haven't seen the man since 1999.  I changed the subject.

kikirst33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-unclesaunts-wedding-convey-information?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:634bdf5e-00a8-4fef-883c-7adbb0b9bb9dPost:e6160852-d4c0-4a63-a43a-d7398ddb73b9">Re: Not inviting Uncles/Aunts to wedding.... How to convey that information</a>:
[QUOTE]"Next fall.  How are you and Uncle Jerry doing?"
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

LOL... pretty close, it's my Uncle Jay! 

Thanks for the advise ladies.  I will ignore the question this time and if it comes up again I'll be nice but not imply an invitation. 

I have un-linked my Pinterest account to avoid any future questions.