Bartender at reception

msdizzy4u

I'm going to ask this even with the fear of being bashed... but here goes.

I "hired" an acquaintance to bartend for our reception. We are providing an open bar. Not a fully stocked bar, but an open bar nonetheless.  I'm trying to keep it simple for her as well as cost effective for us. She is an ABC licensed bartender (or whatever it's called).  We have purchased mixers (sours, schnapps, etc), liquor (whiskey, rum, tequila & vodka), wine and beer. 

We are providing a drink list to have at the bar and want to make it known to our guests that she is accepting tips.  Is this tactful?

Our bartender is appreciative of your generosity!

Any suggestions?  She will have a tip jar, but some people are just dense and wouldn't realize it was there unless you hit them in the head with it.

loop0406

It's TABC certified.

I personally think the tip jar is enough. Most knotties will oppose to this idea too. Is there a way to not have a tip jar and you tip her accordingly at the end of the night ?

eastunder1

Are your guests tipping out the band as well?  The florist?  No, of course not.  because that would be ridiculous, right?  The bartender should fall under this logic as well.  It is not your guests resonsibility to pay for your vendors.  This isn't a nightclub, its a wedding.  You pay for the people you hire, and that includes the tip.   Either pay them an increased flat rate that would equal a likely tip amount, or give them a lump sum tip at the end based on their performance.   Your job.  Not the guests.   

Ashes_3

I think having your guest tipping the bartender is a bad idea. You should pay for the tip, not them!!! Their guest. We are hiring servers and bartender and not asking our guests to pay for any of it, it is OUR wedding and OUR responsibility.

brilibby4

I don't think you should have a tip jar out and should tip her yourselves.  However, if you insist on a tip jar you do NOT need a sign.  I used to be a bartender and trust me- everyone always knew what the tip jar was without having to be told.  That being said, I do agree with PPs that tipping all vendors should be your job, not your guests'.

Edit: How many guests are you planning on having at your reception?  My reception hall requires one bartender for every fifty guests so you might want to keep that in mind as well.  You don't want guests standing in line forever or your friend feeling overwhelmed all night!

[Deleted User]

I think the tip jar is rude and I think you will get that response on here. If you are getting her at a cheaper cost, couldn't you just give her a tip or a nice gift card at the end of the night instead of having your guests fork it out?

[Deleted User]

How dense do people have to be to not know what a tip jar is? I doubt your guests will be that clueless. People know what a tip jar looks like. Regardless, I agree with PP and say forget the jar, pay her the tip yourself.

kebmtm071605

If you are hosting an open bar, there should not be a tip jar.  You & your husband should tip her at the end of the night.  I never tip at an open bar b/c I assume the hosts are taking care of the tips.  DH, who is an over-tipper, does tip at open bars though.

ETA:  Also, please make sure you obtain the required liability insurance!!  Just b/c she is a licensed bartender, does not mean she carries liability insurance. 

PharmacyBride

I think you should handle the tip yourself, as you will do with your other vendors.  No jar.  I think any mention of tip in writing is tacky.... very tacky.

Honestly, if you insist on having a tip jar, PLEASE do not put up a sign.  I always tip when I see a tip jar.. it is message enough.  If your guests don't tip enough .. then make up the difference at the end of the night.

Seriously, NO SIGNS about this.  (Even if the sign was for the opposite reason it would be tacky- as in - no tip jar and sign reading "Bartender's tip has been taken care of"- any sign about tip- positive or negative- is tacky!!!)

You should never advertise what you are paying for or what you expect your guests to pay for.

marissa_claire

I think a tip jar is pretty usual.  I know a lot of people are saying it's rude, but we are doing the same bar-wise (hiring a bartender but we will provide alcohol) and she charged differently based on whether or not to have a tip jar out.  So I asked her if people will try to tip regardless (because I personally always try to tip bartenders whether or not they have a jar out) and she said, yes, most people will try to tip regardless of whether a tip jar is out.  In our case it's a difference of a few hundred dollars to leave a tip jar out or not and she said they'll want to tip anyways, so I don't see anything wrong with it.  

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bartender-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63939c9a-e886-43eb-91f8-feffb8180db3Post:23734d0b-1675-4b16-b9bb-81fa511b0b9e">Re: Bartender at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I think a tip jar is pretty usual.  I know a lot of people are saying it's rude, but we are doing the same bar-wise (hiring a bartender but we will provide alcohol) and she charged differently based on whether or not to have a tip jar out.  So I asked her if people will try to tip regardless (because I personally always try to tip bartenders whether or not they have a jar out) and she said, yes, most people will try to tip regardless of whether a tip jar is out.  In our case it's a difference of a few hundred dollars to leave a tip jar out or not and she said they'll want to tip anyways, so I don't see anything wrong with it.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

Yes, some people will always try to tip. But there's a difference between wanting to give a tip and feeling pressured to. Your guests should not feel pressured to. Don't try to save a couple of hundred bucks by making your guests feel like they have to open their wallets. You're already saving a ton by buying your own supplies.

Pirata13

The bartender at our hall had a tip jar, and I was totally ok with that. His tip was "included" in our per person price, but really, who knows how much he's getting out of that. The people at the hall were very good to us, we tipped all of them extra. Anyway, he did not have a sign, people know what the tip jar is.

And PP is absolutely right about making sure you have liability insurance.  Protect your bartender friend and yourself. Our hall had liability insurance and the bartender was provided so any liability was on them. But you need to make sure you are covered in the event that an accident happen as a result of alcohol. 

We only had beer & wine at our reception, but I liked their policy if we were to have had the full bar--no shots in the last hour of the reception. They found the last hour was when people really started to slam shots, which of course then kicks in as people are leaving, and it was increasing their liability.  So that is something to consider as well.

ohwhynot

I asked our bartender to take down her tip jar.  I know that many people had already tipped her before I noticed she had a tip jar out, and that people continued to slip her $$ afterward, too.  

OP, you're already getting a good deal on your bartender - dont cheap out now.  Calculate a generous tip and pay her that at the end of the night.  Don't let your guests open their wallets, if you can help it, and certainly don't encourage them to open their wallets. 

MyNameIsNot

Tipping the bartender is your responsibility, as the host of the event.

If people want to tip her extra, they can and will.  A tip jar is rude enough, but going beyond that is just absurd.  

sister2groom

Please don't have a tip jar. I usually don't bring small change to weddings (deliberately at least) and if there were a tip jar I would feel uncomfortable getting drinks because I couldn't tip.

Beachy730

I'm totally against the norm here.  I have never been to a wedding without tip jars out.  People know that they will be there, and purposely get singles or small change before they go to it.  This is one of those things that i never thouight twice about until hearing about it on TK.  I have also never been to a cash bar wedding, so its always been full open bar, with tip jar out.  And if there wasn't one, I would still tip them, or ask where their tip jar is. 

So personally, I see nothing wrong with the tip jar, and in my hometown area nobody else would.  However, DO NOT write anything or put up any sign about tipping, whether you encourage it or discourage it.  People aren't dumb, they see a jar and they know what its for, especially once they see money in it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bartender-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63939c9a-e886-43eb-91f8-feffb8180db3Post:23f0c412-2bc9-4cbf-875f-faa8b301a3a3">Re: Bartender at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]How dense do people have to be to not know what a tip jar is? I doubt your guests will be that clueless. People know what a tip jar looks like. Regardless, I agree with PP and say forget the jar, pay her the tip yourself.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

When I was a barista I had someone motion to our tip jar and say, "what are you collecting for?" True story. Of course, the owner thought a sign that say "TIPS" would be tacky, and I agreed with her.

I agree with PPs. Your bar, your responsibility to tip.

zippityb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bartender-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:63939c9a-e886-43eb-91f8-feffb8180db3Post:70c8df2d-38f7-4a87-bf24-3f658cf001bf">Re: Bartender at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]It's TABC certified. I personally think the tip jar is enough. Most knotties will oppose to this idea too. Is there a way to not have a tip jar and you tip her accordingly at the end of the night ?
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]

TABC is only for Texas. Hence the "T."

msdizzy4u

Thank you all for your opinions.  I have decided to nix the sign, but the jar stays.  The "hall" is a private lodge and the organization that runs it will not be there. So there is no one to tell me what they think or what to do.

Most of the people we are inviting are heavy drinkers and I'm hoping that the pressence of a tip jar will deter them slightly.  I do like the idea of no shots or closing the bar an hour before the reception is over.  So I have salvaged something out of this conversation.

NO ONE will be offended by a tip jar.  I am in rural TN and many of our guests don't even know what "rsvp" means, much less be offended by something like a tip jar. The last wedding I went to had a bon fire, kegger in the back yard complete with lawn chairs and beer coolers, so I'm not the slightest bit worried about being tacky.  BELIEVE ME, our wedding is going to be the most elegant wedding some people have ever seen.   Tip jar and all.

Thanks everyone!