Officiating my sisters wedding

pylejerw

My sister has asked me to officiate her wedding in a non-religious ceremony (we are catholic but she is getting married outside of the church, not that religion is being avoided).
I am honored and want to provide them with a warm and loving ceremony.  Does anyone have any suggestions or guidelines on how to make sure I stay in the role of officiant and brother and not in the role of center of attention. 
thanks in advance.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_officiating-my-sisters-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6402b232-b8f1-4d54-81ba-068444b54ec6Post:c1565aea-be0b-416f-b5fc-b4911b5ceec3">Officiating my sisters wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister has asked me to officiate her wedding in a non-religious ceremony (we are catholic but she is getting married outside of the church, not that religion is being avoided). I am honored and want to provide them with a warm and loving ceremony.  <strong>Does anyone have any suggestions or guidelines on how to make sure I stay in the role of officiant and brother and not in the role of center of attention.</strong>  thanks in advance.
Posted by pylejerw[/QUOTE]

Assuming you're not going to wear a white dress and a veil, I think it's pretty safe to say you won't be the center of attention.

Practice the ceremony. A lot. And be true to you. If you're not usually a comedian, don't try to be humorous. And ask your sister and her FI what they envision their ceremony being. Some people want it serious. Some want it to be light-hearted... try to tailor it to what they want.

Good luck!

DramaGeek

The easiest thing would be to have your sister and her fi write the ceremony, or all of you sit down and write it together.  If you can't do that, make sure you're clear on the basic timeline, and make sure you know the "vibe" they want for their ceremony.  Also, be clear on some of the controversial things - does she want the question "who gives this woman?" or does she want a different version of it or to skip it all together?  Do they want to memorize their vows, read them, or repeat after you?  Will there be both a statement of intent and the vows, or just one? (and check your state laws on that, some states require both while others are more lax).  How do they want to be introduced?  What other elements will be included in the ceremony (readings, songs, etc)?

And yes, practice practice practice.

mandi195

As an aside, are you a registered officiaint? Most states (from my understanding) require an actual officiant. (If I am incorrect in this, please skip my rambling!) However, I know you can "become" an officiant for rather cheap online. I just wanted to throw that out there, in case you need to be "official," so that the marriage is legal. Also, congrats on such a great honor!!

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_officiating-my-sisters-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6402b232-b8f1-4d54-81ba-068444b54ec6Post:c1565aea-be0b-416f-b5fc-b4911b5ceec3">Officiating my sisters wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister has asked me to officiate her wedding in a non-religious ceremony (we are catholic but she is getting married outside of the church, not that religion is being avoided). I am honored and want to provide them with a warm and loving ceremony.  Does anyone have any suggestions or guidelines on how to make sure I stay in the role of officiant and brother and not in the role of center of attention.  thanks in advance.
Posted by pylejerw[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>First, give any necessary attention to laws depending on the state in which the wedding will be performed. </div><div>
</div><div>Even though the officiant often does a lot of the speaking, as long as he's respectful, articulate, and (maybe even) happy for the couple, the couple will stay firmly at the center of everyone's attention.</div><div>
</div><div>We had a friend officiate. He was very aware of necessary volume so that our guests could actually hear him, because at points during his own ceremony his officiant ended up drowned out for those in the further back rows.</div><div>
</div><div>I put together a mock-up of a ceremony using pieces from <em>The Wedding Ceremony Planner--</em>which I highly recommend to your sister and her FI if they still haven't written the ceremony with you yet--then our friend made some changes and practiced a ton before the big day.</div>