Wedding Etiquette Forum

Receptions and Children?

Hi,

I got married April 21st. We are having our reception on Aug. 14th. It was easier this way due to people with work and vacations, etc.

anyway, a few of our guests have small children. I was wondering if it were okay for them to be bringing them to the reception, which is more like a party than an actual formal reception.

I don't feel like they belong and my husband doesn't mind. Please let me know if I should tell those people to leave them with sitters or if it's okay to bring them.

Thanks!
Mandi

Re: Receptions and Children?

  • Only you can make that decision - either one is acceptable as long as you and your H are consistant across the board with your choice. 
  • We had kids at our evening reception and had no issues at all.  The babies slept, the toddlers danced.  It was no big deal.  If the parents feel like it's not appropriate, they won't bring them.  If you don't want them there, don't invite them.  You can go either way really.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • It's up to you and your husband to decide. For us, weddings/receptions are family events and we welcome them all.
    image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • We invited children to ours.  You need to decide, with your FI, if you want children to attend or not.  If not, don't invite them.  If so, do invite them.  The presence or lack of their name on the invitation envelope(s) is the only thing that you should do to indicate to your guests whether their children are invited or not.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • If your reception is in less than 3 weeks, haven't you already sent out invitations? If so, whomever you invited is... invited.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • The kids that came to my reception really made the party more fun.  Kids get excited and love to dance and because the ceremony is already over you don't run the risk of crying babies during the vows.

    I say invite them if you and FI want to.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Yes but I just adressed the invites to Mr & Mrs. whatever. I didn't include "and family" on them.  It was them who assumed the children were invited....which I didn't really think of when I first sent them out. Later, I sent a message to those with children and said we'd rather not have them there, but now they're saying they can't get childcare so the children have to come anyway.

    It's mostly the fact of our one friend, i love her and her son so much, but he's 3 and completely uncontrollable. She has given up on trying to keep him still and just lets him do what he pleases. Thats the biggest reason why we don't want children there. Because of her child. Other than that, the other children that are coming are fine. I just feel that if we told her no kids, and kids show up, she's going to be mad and know it's because of her son. Shes already tried to say she didn't want to go out with us anymore becuase of her son. I don't want her to have to think that we're against just her, even though we kind of are, and I don't want to lose her friendship.  

    anyway.... It's not that I don't want children there, I just figured that it was a grown up kind of party especially since there will be alcohol.
  • Stick to your guns and don't have kids. It is incredibly rude for a guest to say that their kid just has to attend because they can not find childcare. It is not impossible to find childcare. If they don't want to attend because their kid was not invited, they can stay home.

    You can't invite some kids and not invite other kids. There is no way I would have an uncontrollable 3 year old attend.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_receptions-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64938a8e-eac2-48f1-8553-368474ef090ePost:98ea2799-2b9a-469d-863d-192e75e1de2d">Re: Receptions and Children?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes but I just adressed the invites to Mr & Mrs. whatever. I didn't include "and family" on them.  It was them who assumed the children were invited....which I didn't really think of when I first sent them out. Later, I sent a message to those with children and said we'd rather not have them there, but now they're saying they can't get childcare so the children have to come anyway.
    Posted by monkeeluvr414[/QUOTE]

    Uh, no. If they can't get childcare, they can decline the invitation. Your response should be, "Well, that's unfortunate. I guess we'll get together some other time."

    At this point, since you didn't invite children. allowing people to bully you into letting their kids come is unfair to those who did find childcare and/or know how invitations work. JMO. Normally I think children are fine at weddings and especially less formal parties, but if you let some slide now, you're creating a divide and possibly hard feelings.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • My biggest fear is telling them "no" to the children... and them be mad at me. Most of the people are from my husband's side, whom i've never met. I really don't want to give a bad first impression. heh.
  • Since your ceremony has already taken place, it'd probably be OK and I bet you wouldn't really notice them (no temper tantrums during the vows!) but I understand what you're saying about one out of control kid. Just as long as you're consistent, either way is fine.
    But if you say some kids but not others can come, that's when people's feelings get hurt. As a compromise for people who can't find a sitter, have you considered getting a babysitter and a separate room at the facility for the kids to play, watch movies, and then crash in when they get tired?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The place we picked doesn't have extra rooms. It's got the hall and a bar and a bathroom lol. That's basically it.

    I'm really at odds because my husband doesn't want to start a fight with his family about the kids coming and I don't want to give in and tell my friend she can bring her uncontrollable kid. The only thing I can do is, I guess, pretend I didn't know my husband's family was bringing their kids and when they get there, play dumb?  lol. I know that's mean, but the clock is ticking and i really don't know what to do.

    I let him be the ring bearer in our ceremony and all he did was run around and climb on pews and really was not a happy experience, lol. My friend is also expecting again, so it would be even more difficult to get him to behave now. I just kind of feel embarassed when he's running around and she or her husband have to catch him put him in a chair and basically cause a whole scene. She knows I feel that way. She feels even more embarassed and then I feel bad because my best friend's kid embarasses me. It's a whole thing. haha.
  • I put my foot down to my husband and made him tell his cousin no kids! lol. He said ok we'll work on finding a sitter. :)

    I feel much better now.

    And if my friend can't come because she can't get a a sitter for her child, then oh well.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards