Luau instead of Bridal Shower?

diybride2be

Good Morning!
Would it be ok to have a Luau (and accept donations towards the honeymoon- only if someone wanted to give) instead of a Bridal shower? I know that it is just wrong to ask anyone for money and we would NEVER do that. We have the money to pay for our wedding but thought that if someone wanted to give a gift we would like donations towards the honeymoon. This is the second wedding for both the FH and me and we already live together in a house that has way too much stuff in it. I know that my bridesmaid wants to throw us a party (weather it is a shower or a luau). How do we go about doing this? Is is ok to do this? I would appriciate any and all opinions! TIA!

danieliza1127

A co-ed shower, with a luau theme, is totally fine.  If you just want cash though, don't register anywhere.  That's really the only way you can do it without being tacky.

LD1970

A luau sounds great.  But you can't ask for money or hint for money or demand money or put out a tip jar.

You CAN get a honeymoon registry, which some frown on and some don't mind (so it's likely some of your guests will be fine with it and others will scowl, and if you don't care about the scowlers, that's your choice), but you can bet some people might show up with non-monetary gifts anyway, and without a regular registry, you are taking your chances.

baystateapple

It's not really okay to dictate what kind of party you have.  If your BM asks if you have any ideas for your shower, you can tell her a luau theme would be nice.  But if you're looking specifically for donations for the honeymoon, instead of gifts, then you should decline a shower and not register.  The point of a shower is for the guests to give gifts; most of your guests will bring boxed gifts. 

If you don't register, your guests will get the right idea that you want cash instead of gifts, and they'll give accordingly.  But there's no right way to "ask".

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_luau-instead-of-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:650423c7-b171-404c-b909-ddee4839386fPost:57b7da09-c6b8-4b91-8e05-fb674db514dc">Luau instead of Bridal Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]Good Morning! Would it be ok to have a Luau (and accept donations towards the honeymoon- only if someone wanted to give) instead of a Bridal shower? I know that it is just wrong to ask anyone for money and we would NEVER do that. We have the money to pay for our wedding but thought that if someone wanted to give a gift we would like donations towards the honeymoon. This is the second wedding for both the FH and me and we already live together in a house that has way too much stuff in it.<strong> I know that my bridesmaid wants to throw us a party (weather it is a shower or a luau). How do we go about doing this? Is is ok to do this? </strong>I would appriciate any and all opinions! TIA!
Posted by diybride2be[/QUOTE]
If your BM wants to throw you a party, then let her throw you a party and don't make it a gift giving (money or otherwise) event. Personally, I hate the concept of helping finance a couple's honeymoon. Some people see no problem with it. I'm just not one of those people. If you don't need anything, then don't register and spread it via word of mouth that you'd like money. Depending on what kind of honeymoon you want, it might need to be booked well in advance of the wedding, which means it'll need to be paid for, at least deposits, before you get most of that money from your guests. Bottom line: if your BM wants to throw you a party, that's awesome. I just wouldn't make it a gift giving party and I wouldn't put the idea in anybody's head that I wanted money for the HM.

MISSCOURTNEY20

I say go for it. I also think that you should prepare yourself for some people to still bring gifts. Many people like to give gifts instead of money

I would love to have a luau as a bridal shower theme but I would have wanted to do it outside and Chicago weather is too iffy in September. Oh well. Have fun!

diybride2be

Thanks ladies for the opinions! I greatly appriciate them! Have a great afternoon!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Some people throw "theme" showers. If you want to make it a luau theme/honeymoon shower, fine. But wait until your BMs ask you about it. Let them plan what they're comfortable with.

KatieBug2966

I think it's a great idea, we did a co-ed Fiesta Wedding Shower and got great feedback from our friends and family.

I wouldn't ask for donations to the honeymoon though, asking for money is tacky.