Bridesmaid to bring a baby?

nbad311

Hello all,
This is my very first post and I came here because I wasn't sure who to turn to next!

My wedding is the first weekend in May so I'm just at the 3-month-left mark. Long story short, one of my bridesmaids (I have 3 including the MOH) told me the other day that she is probably going to bring her 11-month old baby with her (she is 8 mos now... will be 11 mos then - not sure if that makes a difference!).  She also has a 3-year old and a husband, but they will not be coming (all are invited of course).

Am I crazy for thinking this isn't going to work??  We have a full day of things planned for Friday and the wedding is Saturday.  All I have running through my head is every bump in the road I can imagine, to my car not having a carseat!, who will hold the baby during rehearsals and ceremony, will she be able to cab back to the hotel if she needs to leave the rehearsal dinner early on Friday?, who wants to put a baby in a cab??, what about when we do hair and makeup, or pictures?, can babies go in nail salons with all those high-inducing fumes?, do hotels have cribs?? And last but not least, am I going to spend my 48 hours with a possible crying baby? 

She is sort of in "Well I'll just wing it" mode, while I am a STRICT planner! She has never been in a wedding and didn't have a big one herself, so I'm not sure how much she knows about what all is involved.  She has a good heart and is very hard-working so I'm sure she will absolutely try her best to make the situation work, but.... maybe I think that's too much of a risk, for not only her but me too.

Any advice.... how to talk to her about it.... much appreciated!

mlg78

Is there a reason she is bringing the baby? Have you asked what she plans to do during those above listed situations? I don't blame you for being concerned. I would be too. Yes, the true "job" is to show up and walk down the aisle but it'd be nice to have the focus be on you and not a distracting baby in that moment.

athomfor

I personally would very nicely express you concerns regarding how she will balance taking care of an 11 month old and doing things like hair an make up and the ceremony with out anyone to help. I think it is fine to very nicely express concern but you can not dictate weither the child can come. There are some pretty practicle questions like where will the baby be while she walks down the isle?

warpedredpenguin

It's not your job to figure out what she's going to do with her child. It's also not your business. It doesn't become your business just because she's in your wedding. Let her figure it out. Is she a normally responsible mother? If yes, then trust her to be able to continue to be. It is seriously not your issue. 

kmmssg

If she is not bringing anyone to watch this child, this is a trainwreck waiting to happen.  She can't do pics, stand in the ceremony, or much of anything else without someone to watch her child.  Is she hoping someone at your wedding will help out with the child?

Have a very warm, non-confrontational conversation with her and ask her how she is going to handle these things.  Winging it is not an answer.  You mentioned her taking a cab back to the hotel so I am assuming she doesn't have her own transportation, correct?  You can't be her ride for the whole time as you are going to be very busy.

We have a lot of kids, as well as g'kids and 11 month olds are a major handful.  They are getting independent, and if the child knows no one else, he/she could get very demanding for Mommy.

HELP her come up with solutions but let her know winging it isn't going to be the answer.  This needs to be solved to everyone's satisfaction.  You can't let this go.

Kate61487

I personally would have enjoyed playing pass the baby during hair appointments and my mother would have loved it.  Are the other women in your circle comfortable with / interested in babies?  Would they be willing to support her in the effort?  I held H's niece all through his cousins wedding and pics afterward b/c I love me some baby time and I was more than happy to help. 

Presumably she'll bring a carseat with her either in her car if she's driving or on the plane if she's flying and it can be installed in your car or a cab if necessary.  She can hold the child during the rehearsal; hopefully you two have a mutual friend who will be attending the ceremony who would be willing to be on baby duty?  Regarding the nail salon: either she's not concerned about fumes (and it's her kid so it's not your place) or she'll skip out on the mani/pedis - she's not required to be there for that.  Yes hotels have cribs, but she may also plan on bringing a porta-crib or she may co-sleep.  And as for a 48-hr crying baby.  She's almost a year old; they don't cry non-stop at that age; and I'm sure she'll be happier with her mom than many alternatives.

Bottom-line: not your place to say anything, let her bring the kid.  You can send out a note to your whole BP (not just her) laying out your thoughts on the itinerary for Fri/Sat to let them know they're welcome to come along (because again they're not required to do anything but the ceremony and reception).  That may make her take a step back and realize that she'll be busy and it will be hard to have the baby with her, but if you send the itinerary and she still plans on bringing the baby just roll with it.

ETA - obviously I don't know if your friend is BFing or not, but leaving the baby home with hubby just may not be an option.  It might be a 'maybe' b/c it's not unheard of for children to self-ween around a year and *maybe* she then could leave the baby at home.  Just another contributing factor to consider.

Peledreamsofrain

This really isn't a big issue since her husband and the entire family will be there. They'll take care of the little tyke while mom is busy. Heck, my MOH was my sister, and she had a 4 month old that she was breastfeeding at the time. Even though she needed to make time for that every two hours, things went smoothly. Everyone loved my little niece in her cute little dress and wanted a turn watching her. The pictures were adorable too. ETA. Sorry reading fail. I see the husband won't be there. Definitely have a talk with her to see if the baby is familiar enough with other familu members so as not to be scared and fuss if left with them.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-to-bring-a-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6600b72f-ddd2-4835-9216-879a4be94ae8Post:e7f8c8b0-2faf-4fbe-9669-19201aed868e">Bridesmaid to bring a baby?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all, This is my very first post and I came here because I wasn't sure who to turn to next! My wedding is the first weekend in May so I'm just at the 3-month-left mark. Long story short, one of my bridesmaids (I have 3 including the MOH) told me the other day that she is probably going to bring her 11-month old baby with her (she is 8 mos now... will be 11 mos then - not sure if that makes a difference!).  She also has a 3-year old and a husband, but they will not be coming (all are invited of course). Am I crazy for thinking this isn't going to work??  We have a full day of things planned for Friday and the wedding is Saturday.  All I have running through my head is every bump in the road I can imagine, to my car not having a carseat!, who will hold the baby during rehearsals and ceremony, will she be able to cab back to the hotel if she needs to leave the rehearsal dinner early on Friday?, who wants to put a baby in a cab??, what about when we do hair and makeup, or pictures?, can babies go in nail salons with all those high-inducing fumes?, do hotels have cribs?? And last but not least, am I going to spend my 48 hours with a possible crying baby?  She is sort of in "Well I'll just wing it" mode, while I am a STRICT planner! She has never been in a wedding and didn't have a big one herself, so I'm not sure how much she knows about what all is involved.  She has a good heart and is very hard-working so I'm sure she will absolutely try her best to make the situation work, but.... maybe I think that's too much of a risk, for not only her but me too. :( Any advice.... how to talk to her about it.... much appreciated!
Posted by nbad311[/QUOTE]

I don't think there is anything wrong with her bringing the baby, but I would absolutely have a conversation about what her plan is for all of the situations you mentioned.  She will need someone to hold the baby during rehearsals, getting ready (off and on) and during the ceremony.  This needs to be a designated person, in my mind. Not just "hey, here, take my kid" at the last minute.  And, I would make sure she has her own plans for transportation.

As far as spending 48 hours with a crying baby. Yeah, that could happen.  Hopefully, if the baby is having a fit, she will take her to another room or location so you arent' a stressed out mess.  I know a lot of people love kids, and a crying baby wouldn't bother them. And, I love kids too!  But, I would have lost my mind if I had to put up with a crying child while I was trying to get ready.  I was nervous enough.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-to-bring-a-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6600b72f-ddd2-4835-9216-879a4be94ae8Post:a778fc7d-4d18-4cd8-b0a1-992d0405ce8b">Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?</a>:
[QUOTE]This really isn't a big issue since her husband and the entire family will be there. They'll take care of the little tyke while mom is busy. Heck, my MOH was my sister, and she had a 4 month old that she was breastfeeding at the time. Even though she needed to make time for that every two hours, things went smoothly. Everyone loved my little niece in her cute little dress and wanted a turn watching her. The pictures were adorable too.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

OP said Husband isn't coming. 

<strong><em>"She also has a 3-year old and a husband, but they will not be coming (all are invited of course)."
</em></strong>

lyndausvi

I'll be honest I think she is crazy for wanting an 11 month old around without help.    It's not even about you.  Who is going to hold the baby when she get her own hair and makeup done?  While she gets dressed?  When taking pictures? 

  9-11 months is prime separation anxiety time.   If mom is in-site it's unlikely she go to anyone other than mom.  Heck, a lot of 11 months old will not even go to daddy if mom is in site. 

I think you have valid concerns that need to be address.  

The baby attending the wedding/reception itself is not an issue.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-to-bring-a-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6600b72f-ddd2-4835-9216-879a4be94ae8Post:a778fc7d-4d18-4cd8-b0a1-992d0405ce8b">Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?</a>:
[QUOTE]This really isn't a big issue since her husband and the entire family will be there. They'll take care of the little tyke while mom is busy. Heck, my MOH was my sister, and she had a 4 month old that she was breastfeeding at the time. Even though she needed to make time for that every two hours, things went smoothly. Everyone loved my little niece in her cute little dress and wanted a turn watching her. The pictures were adorable too.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

The husband is NOT coming.   And there is a huge difference between a 4 month old and an 11 month old.  At 4 months they are still pretty much eating, pooping, sleeping and barely moving..   At 11 months they are way more mobile (I was walking at 11 months) and a lot of kids at that age have separation anxiety  Meaning if mom is in the room, they only want her.  

nbad311

In Response to Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?:I personally would have enjoyed playing pass the baby during hair appointments and my mother would have loved it.nbsp; Are the other women in your circle comfortable with / interested in babies?nbsp; Would they be willing to support her in the effort? Perhaps I should have mentioned that too. Simple answer, no. None of us have children of our own yet and while we are all responsible and in our late 20s, we have no experience with children. I called the other two girls after this came up and they had the same questions/concerns. My mom, who loves babies and todlers, said she could help out here and there but didnt want to commitit to long periods of babysitting. Also, my mom and her family are traveling from out of town for my wedding so I am not going to delegate to her any responsibilities like watching another's baby.

Belle0720

Is your bridesmaid traveling from out of town to attend your wedding? And will there be other babies/young children at the wedding?

I definitely understand your concerns, two of my BMs have young babies. I love them but I just don't want crying babies at the ceremony or around me while I'm trying to relax and get ready. The only young children at the wedding will be our 2 nieces and 2 nephews. I'm not requiring my BMs to be with me for 48 hours straight and they both live within 10 minutes of my house and the wedding venue, so doesn't seem like it's going to be a problem and they didn't express any concerns to me when we talked about it. 

I think it's perfectly okay for you to let her know if you don't want a baby around while you are getting ready, but you also can't require her to get ready with you. So be prepared to not have her around if you don't want her baby there. I definitely think you should gently bring up your concerns with her either way because there are certainly logistical things like a PP mentioned...where will the baby be during the ceremony?

lyndausvi

I forgot to add I think it's unrealistic to except someone with an 11 month to devote 48 hours straight for your wedding.   The actually wedding morning I agree with you, Friday, not as much.


And passing the baby works really well for some babies and really bad for others.  Sometimes the kid doesn't want to get passed around even though there are people who would want to hold them.

mcda04

Her situation is a little odd. Why is she leaving the other kids at home but bringing the baby? Is she nursing? Are you inviting children at all?

You need to talk to your BM and ask her about these things. A *shoulder shrug* attitude is not acceptable. She really needs someone to watch the baby. If the baby's THAT attached to mommy that she couldn't stay home with Dad; then I can't see how she'll be comfortable with any other guest.

AdeleDazeem

I'm falling somewhere in the middle here.

Where is the kid going to sleep in the hotel, will the mother put the baby in the cab, will the mother take the baby to the nail salon, etc... those are all things she has to deal with, not you.  And yeah, I'd probably "wing it," too.  She watches this kid every single day.  You guys don't have kids so you think planning things is the only way, but having a kid means you don't plan to a T anymore.  If she's a good mom, I assure you, she' understands these things better than you and your friends do and will bring a pack'n'play, food, carseat, etc.

However, I do think you have a major point in asking who is going to watch the baby during the ceremony.  Plunking the child on someone for the duration of pre-ceremony through pictures seems unfair.  She definitely needs an idea for that one!

Calypso1977

its her responsibility, not yours, to worry about who will watch her kid.  but id have a polite conversation with her in advance as i would want to make sure that she isnt assuming that the other BMs or other VIP/front row wedding guests will be in charge of watching the baby.

unless she's BFing, im not sure why she'd bring the baby to begin with if the rest of the family is staying home.  at 11 months the kid is probably eating some real food, in addition to breastmilk anyway so i dont see why she couldnt pump and leave the baby home.  i dont know much abotu these things, but would it really matter for an 11 month old to not have breast milk for 2 days if it was getting other food??

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-to-bring-a-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6600b72f-ddd2-4835-9216-879a4be94ae8Post:f770f5f4-12c1-43a7-8f42-f61676231891">Re: Bridesmaid to bring a baby?</a>:
[QUOTE]its her responsibility, not yours, to worry about who will watch her kid.  but id have a polite conversation with her in advance as i would want to make sure that she isnt assuming that the other BMs or other VIP/front row wedding guests will be in charge of watching the baby. unless she's BFing, im not sure why she'd bring the baby to begin with if the rest of the family is staying home.  at 11 months the kid is probably eating some real food, in addition to breastmilk anyway so<strong>i dont see why she couldnt pump and leave the baby home</strong>.  i dont know much abotu these things, but <strong>would it really matter for an 11 month old to not have breast milk for 2 days</strong> if it was getting other food??
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

I don't have kids yet, but I know that both my brother and I absolutely refused as infants to take anything from a bottle - breast milk or formula, didn't matter; if mom wasn't there we refused to eat.  so "pump and leave the kid home" is not always an option.  And for the second point, seriously?  obviously it may not be nutritionally necessary since some babies are starting to wean by that age but the weaning process is a huge emotional and psychological step that takes weeks.  She can't just run off and leave the kid high and dry for two days when she's normally nursing several times a day.

audreyecu61

It is her child and her responsibility, don't make it yours.

I'm a mom, a grandma and a bride in June.My grand daughter will be 9 months at the time of my wedding. My adult daughters will be bridesmaids. Our wedding is going to be small but we will be inviting SIL parents, who will help with the baby.

I assume that your wedding is kid friendly, as you had invited the husband and 3 year old?
So there will be people with other kids there?

11 month olds are practically walking (both mine walked at 11 months), They usually social too. They like to see what is going on and can be very verbal.
Hotels have cribs for babies, they are used to this.
If she is flying she'll have to have a car seat.
If she calls for a cab, she'll deal with the cab driver about the car seat, not you.
If she is in your car, all cars can accomodate a car seat, it is a mandatory law. She will probably know how to strap the child and the seat in a car.

She will be dealing with the child. Keep your ears open to possible solutions, like someone who might be willing to help out.

You should take care of yourself, its' your day and worry about other things.

3 months is a ways off, things can change too.

Good luck

aRachel21

Even though everyone here says the job of a bridesmaid is to "show up on time with their dress", I don't think her bringing the baby is appropriate.  Maybe this is just me, but I always think of kids spilling all over the place, spitting up, drooling, and having sticky hands.... I wouldn't want that around while everyone is getting dressed and their hair and make up done!  Also it could be a huge distraction and the timing of the day may not go as planned. 

I would call her and ask if she's figured out the logistics of bringing the kid, and politely say that maybe it's best if she leave the kid at home so she has a stress free day.  

ridedatbike

In Response to Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?:It's not your job to figure out what she's going to do with her child. It's also not your business. It doesn't become your business just because she's in your wedding. Let her figure it out. Is she a normally responsible mother? If yes, then trust her to be able to continue to be. It is seriously not your issue.nbsp; Posted. by warpedredpenguin Thank you. I mean its not like she confines herself to her home because she has a baby. I mean moms bring babies places all the time. As a mom one thing I can't stand is someone who has never been a parent trying to tell me what to do with my kid, just a warning this puts a lot of people off. She's a mom shell figure it out. That's what moms do roll with the punches. Yiy can't exactly strictly plan with kids. Let her do her job she knows what she's doing. Also I don't think any good mom would actually leave her house without her carseat. There are really easy solutions to your concerns that moms deal with all the time. Moms also always have baby wipes on.hand to take care of sticky hands and spit up. But at eleven months old I highly doubt shell spit up.

[Deleted User]

If it were my wedding I would totally understand your concerns. Like some other posters mentioned, it's her responsibility to make sure that she has a car seat or arranges for one & same for sleeping accomodations. Only thing you might do is ask your reception hall if they have high chairs & to reserve one for you if they do.  If you are renting a limo, I would advise her of that because most limo's don't have seatbelts to secure car seats, some limo companies may not allow kids in car seats due to that. Ask her what her plans were for who would hold the baby during the ceremony & photos. If she doesn't really know then instead of "pasing the baby" like many others suggest (I personally wouldn't want to take care of her baby, I'm not a fan of babies myself and no we're not having kids) see if any of your friends/co-workers/family members have a trusted babysitter that you might be able to hire as a mother's assistant for the wedding day. Someone that can entertain & take care of the baby nearby mom while she is getting ready. This way if there are any big issues, mom is there to step in but then there is someone who is there to help out during the day & maybe even into the reception. This way you know that she has someone to help her out without imposing on your family, bridal party or other guests which will hopefully help your stress level some.

But I agree with all other pp that you need to talk to her about why she is bringing 11 month old & if it's a breast feeding issue, I think you need to ask her how she plans to deal with feeding the baby should the baby need to eat during the ceremony or pictures. The reception she can excuse herself from any activities going on at the moment but kind of hard to excuse yourself from the ceremony or ask everyone to hold up picture taking so she can feed. I'm sure I'll catch slack for bringing that up, but I thinks it's a legimit question. What happens if you're about to all walk down the isle and she needs to feed? Is she going to just sit out of the wedding or expect you to hold up the ceremony while she feeds?

I'm hoping for you it's just a matter of that it's too much work for her husband to take care of both kids by himself and he doesn't have anyone who can help him while she's gone so she figures the baby would be less work for her compared to a full of energy 3 year old & who can run around and that's why she's bringing the baby.

Good luck!!

ridedatbike

I think the best way to approach the ceremony issue would be to offer your mom to hold her during pictures or any other solutions you can think of rather than point out the flaw in her parenting.

Loopyseven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-to-bring-a-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6600b72f-ddd2-4835-9216-879a4be94ae8Post:4617882b-8d03-4f7a-94e4-8113907af119">Re: Bridesmaid to bring a baby?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm falling somewhere in the middle here. Where is the kid going to sleep in the hotel, will the mother put the baby in the cab, will the mother take the baby to the nail salon, etc... those are all things she has to deal with, not you.  And yeah, I'd probably "wing it," too.  She watches this kid every single day.  You guys don't have kids so you think planning things is the only way, but having a kid means you don't plan to a T anymore.  If she's a good mom, I assure you, she' understands these things better than you and your friends do and will bring a pack'n'play, food, carseat, etc. However, I do think you have a major point in asking who is going to watch the baby during the ceremony.  Plunking the child on someone for the duration of pre-ceremony through pictures seems unfair.  She definitely needs an idea for that one!
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>All of this.  The only thing you can legitimately be concerned about is the ceremony/pictures time.  

</div>

ridedatbike

For some reason I can't quote you but erikan that falls under the same category as the carseat its her job not anyone else's she knows what to do. But just so you know a newborn usually eats about every two hours an eleven month old most likely wont news to eat that much and can probably handle finger foods so wont need as much assistance with eating. If she pumped BTW she would still need to.pump as frequently while she was away from her baby. I wouldn't leave my lo that long at that age. I wouldn't take to kindly though to someone trying to concerning themself so much with my ebf. Im just warning you not trying to. be a biiiitch. She's done it before with her three year old and will have been doing it again for eleven months she's got it down by now

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-to-bring-a-baby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6600b72f-ddd2-4835-9216-879a4be94ae8Post:8499013a-b587-484e-8f05-00611e644a56">Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?:It's not your job to figure out what she's going to do with her child. It's also not your business. It doesn't become your business just because she's in your wedding. Let her figure it out. Is she a normally responsible mother? If yes, then trust her to be able to continue to be. It is seriously not your issue.nbsp; Posted. by warpedredpenguin Thank you. I mean its not like she confines herself to her home because she has a baby.<strong> I mean moms bring babies places all the time. As a mom one thing I can't stand is someone who has never been a parent trying to tell me what to do with my kid, just a warning this puts a lot of people off. She's a mom shell figure it out</strong>. That's what moms do roll with the punches. Yiy can't exactly strictly plan with kids. Let her do her job she knows what she's doing. Also I don't think any good mom would actually leave her house without her carseat. There are really easy solutions to your concerns that moms deal with all the time. Moms also always have baby wipes on.hand to take care of sticky hands and spit up. But at eleven months old I highly doubt shell spit up.
Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

The "problem" I have with mom figuring out could have a direct effect on the bride as she gets ready for her wedding day.   I think that is a very valid concern.    

I'm not talking about the reception or even the events on Friday.  If she misses them because of the baby, NBD in my opinon.  Disappointing?  Sure, but doable.  Carseat?  Please.   She will have a carseat.   

I feel like a BM has a 'responsibilty' of sorts in the hours leading up to the wedding. Not months, weeks or days.  I mean the hours right before.  I feel like the BM should help the bride relax, help her get dressed, take pictures, etc     The only way the BM can 'wing it" is to make someone else take care of the baby or not be in the pictures or have a cranky crying baby around someone who would like to relax before a huge event in her life.  I don't think that is completely "fair" to the bride or others around. 

I don't think it's unreasonable for the hours right before up until the end of the ceremony to be planned in advance. 

Calypso1977

I think the best way to approach the ceremony issue would be to offer your mom to hold her during pictures

i would NEVER ask the MOB to do this task.  EVER. 

ridedatbike

In Response to Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?:[QUOTE]I think the best way to approach the ceremony issue would be to offer your mom to hold her during pictures i would NEVER ask the MOB to do this task.nbsp; EVER.nbsp; Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

She had said earlier that her mom would like to I think unless I read that wrong. That's why I said that.

nbad311

The BM's family is invited because I am friends with her husband too and we have lots of mutual friends who will also be in attendance, would love to see and be around her and him.  I said she could bring the kids if she wanted (I figured she would want to), but told her there will be NO OTHER KIDS THERE, simply because we don't know anyone and just by chance, none of our friends or wedding party has children yet!  We did not intentially NOT invite children.
Yes, she is coming from out of town.   Yes, I asked her to be a BM when she was 8 months pregnant.  No, I didn't specify that myself or the other BMs would likely be unconfortable around a baby during the events leading up to wedding Saturday.
A few months ago she said she was going to come solo, due to the challenges and budget contraints of flying the entire family out for the wedding.  I told her I would miss seeing her husband and meeting the children, but that I totally understood.  Then, it changed to her saying she DID think it would be doable to get the whole family in for the wedding, which I was of course excited about.  But over the weekend it went from that to just her and that 11-month old, and took me by surprise a bit.

misshart00

In Response to Re:Bridesmaid to bring a baby?:[QUOTE]I think the best way to approach the ceremony issue would be to offer your mom to hold her during pictures i would NEVER ask the MOB to do this task.nbsp; EVER.nbsp; Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Thank you. I was thinking that if I was the MOB, I would be really upset if I hade to babysit a random child on my daughter's wedding day.

nbad311

My mom would be willing to help out for pictures without a problem.  She just didn't want to be on baby duty during the reception and of course would be unavailable for the ceremony.

My future MIL, on the other hand, it a totally different animal so to speak (not sure if y'all do MIL jokes around here??  Better for me not start out on the wrong foot!).  She wants nothing to do with any child that is not her only son!