Wedding Etiquette Forum

Multiple weddings... 1 weekend

How do you all handle multiple weddings in 1 weekend where it is IMPOSSIBLE to go to both?

My fianace has a good friend from high school's wedding - a destination wedding in the US Virgin Islands

I have a friend from college's wedding that same weekend. Hers is in her home state, about 3.5 hours away.

We just got the destination wedding invitation yesterday. For both weddings, money isn't an issue, we can afford to do a destination wedding and we can afford to do an out-of-town weekend wedding.

Does he go to his friend's wedding and I go to my friends? Do we pick one and go as a couple? Base it on how close we are to the people?

Just curious how other people have handled this type of situation...

Re: Multiple weddings... 1 weekend

  • I have never been in your situation before. It is definitely a tough choice.

    If it were me, I would probably go to your friend's wedding and your FI go to his friends wedding. I know it sucks not being able to be together, but there is obviously no possibility of the friends changing the dates since you guys already received the invites.
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    I think it really just depends how much you both want to go. If it's particularly important to both of you, it's fine to go separately, but don't feel like you have to go and make it work if you'd rather not.

    Lizzie
  • Friends of ours are dealing with something similar, and they are going separately as well.
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  • Personally, if I could afford to go to the DW I would with FI (just because I'd be jealous of him going to the VI without me, haha) but I think they'd understand if you split up too. Will you each know other guests at the weddings to mingle with if you were go to alone? 
    image
  • lmg1115lmg1115 member
    10 Comments
    We would definitely each both know guests at our prospective weddings to hang out with.

    The destination wedding couple only invited about 75 people - close friends and family. The out of town wedding is having a guest list of upwards of 250 people.

    I will be extremely jealous if he goes to the US. Virgin Islands without me :-( Ha!
  • We are actually dealing with this tomorrow.  I will be at a wedding in Michigan, and FI will be at one in DC.  It kind of sucks, but both of these people matter to us.
  • I'd have a hard time justifying the expense of a trip to VI for just one of us.  Part of it is being a little jealous, but it would also be a budget issue.  We have a pretty limited amount of vacation budget available, and I'd hate for it to take a hit for H to travel that far when we didn't even get to enjoy it together.  If we're going to go that far for a wedding, I'd want to stay for a long weekend and make a mini-vaca out of it.

    I think we'd probably pick one or the other and go together. 
  • lmg1115lmg1115 member
    10 Comments
    I totally hear what you're saying MyName is... Its hard to justify a nice vacation for just one of us!

    We're actually getting married a few weeks before this wedding - but we can't take our honeymoon until december during winter break because I can't take a lot of days in a row off (i'm a teacher) - the weekend this wedding is, is actually a 3 day weekend (Monday is a legal holiday) and this would be the perfect mini-honeymoon!
  • I think I would be pretty bummed if my FI went to a tropical destination w/o me! After having to take a flight there, I might be inclined to have a mini-vacation with FI and go to that one. But then I'd feel like I chose that wedding over my own friend's just bc it's a nicer spot. That is a tough place to be!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-weddings-1-weekend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:66793e2c-429a-417e-be2a-78475ed9c3a2Post:75d1e07f-1e6d-4516-bb23-f479ba68dbdd">Re: Multiple weddings... 1 weekend</a>:
    [QUOTE]We would definitely each both know guests at our prospective weddings to hang out with. The destination wedding couple only invited about 75 people - close friends and family. The out of town wedding is having a guest list of upwards of 250 people. I will be extremely jealous if he goes to the US. Virgin Islands without me :-( Ha!
    Posted by lmg1115[/QUOTE]

    I would pick the VI DW - no contest!  LOL just kidding! 
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_multiple-weddings-1-weekend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:66793e2c-429a-417e-be2a-78475ed9c3a2Post:cc009a08-153e-4282-96cf-a816d1b0744b">Re: Multiple weddings... 1 weekend</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally hear what you're saying MyName is... Its hard to justify a nice vacation for just one of us! We're actually getting married a few weeks before this wedding - but we can't take our honeymoon until december during winter break because I can't take a lot of days in a row off (i'm a teacher) - the weekend this wedding is, is actually a 3 day weekend (Monday is a legal holiday) and this would be the perfect mini-honeymoon!
    Posted by lmg1115[/QUOTE]

    It sounds like the VI trip would be a blast, as long as you're ok with missing the one more local, and would be a nice mini-honeymoon!
    Always Daddy's Little Girl
    kimdad-2

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  • Obviously it depends how close you are to each friend, but if neither are BFF, I would probably choose the BVI one. If it was a really close friend of mine and close friend of his, we'd split up, but like others, I'd be sad if he went on that big vacation without me. And, with a guestlist of 250 people it's doubtful the bride will even have any time to spend with you, where a DW of 75 people you will actually get to spend time with the couple.

    But it mostly depends on who you are closest with.
  • No, I don't think we'd go separately.  I'd be sad to be at a wedding without my DH.  They are so romantic, I'd miss him.  I think we'd probably just go to the one that we wnated to go to more.    I was goign to say the closer one, but if you can afford to go to the USVI that would be an amazing trip and probably a beautiful wedding!
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