Wedding Etiquette Forum
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place settings for sale?

Ok, I want to first disclaim that we are a lesbian couple getting married in Massachuestts and are super non-traditional. We are also very strapped for cash and want to have a fun and totally  "us "wedding. 
I am a full time professional potter and I have been looking at place settings for months now but have found that nothing is better than something I can make for us myself. 
Again...we are non-traditional....with liberal friends and very involved in the arts and crafts community. 
I was wondering if I could make an etsy regestry for my own plates and have my friends/family buy them for us. In addition to getting exactly what we want it can help us pay for our wedding. 
I know some high society gals will find this appalling. But, again we are working class, and I am in the arts community.  I own a local pottery collective and am a working potter and I can't find anything online I like better than something I can make myself. 

If you are stuffy and conservative...please don't bash. I am just wanting some positive and good constructive  feedback on this. If you are in the crafts community and you find this off kilter, please say so. 

Thanks! 

Malea & Tina, Northampton MA

Re: place settings for sale?

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    Here's the thing-no matter what kind of couple you are, you can't rely on other people to pay for your wedding. This is not about being "High Society", or heterosexual, or artsy or whatever. It's being an adult. Have the wedding you can afford to have. To have a wedding you need yourselves, an officiant a license, and a couple of witnesses(if you want it to be legal). If not, just you two and maybe an officiant.
          For the record, my father was an air-conditioning repairman, and my mom worked for a school district.
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    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_place-settings-for-sale?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:66f7fd95-672b-4a3f-bf1f-712738c5c236Post:598585e1-35e4-4dce-9544-58c962ba516f">place settings for sale?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, I want to first disclaim that we are a lesbian couple getting married in Massachuestts and are super non-traditional. We are also very strapped for cash and want to have a fun and totally  "us "wedding.  I am a full time professional potter and I have been looking at place settings for months now but have found that nothing is better than something I can make for us myself.  Again...we are non-traditional....with liberal friends and very involved in the arts and crafts community.  I was wondering if I could make an etsy regestry for my own plates and have my friends/family buy them for us. In addition to getting exactly what we want it can help us pay for our wedding.  I know some high society gals will find this appalling. But, again we are working class, and I am in the arts community.  I own a local pottery collective and am a working potter and I can't find anything online I like better than something I can make myself.  If you are stuffy and conservative...please don't bash. I am just wanting some positive and good constructive  feedback on this. If you are in the crafts community and you find this off kilter, please say so.  Thanks!  Malea & Tina, Northampton MA
    Posted by MaleaTina[/QUOTE]

    I don't care if you're the King and Queen of Utopia... it is beyond rude to expect other people to pay for your wedding.

    If you want to make your own place settings, then plan a wedding that allows a timeline (and budget) for you to do that. Don't expect anyone else to give you money for your wedding ESPECIALLY when it's things that are totally unnecessary to getting married.
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    Selling your pottery on Etsy is great, however, when you advertize that all procedes are going to a wedding, it does seem a bit needy. Just sell the pottery, and ditch the announcement of the proceeds location! 
    ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~
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    Ya I'm a professional artist too... that doesn't excuse a lack of manners.  Don't ask people to pay for your wedding.  If you truly can not afford a wedding anyway the cookie crumbles, marriage only costs the price of a marriage license. 

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_place-settings-for-sale?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66f7fd95-672b-4a3f-bf1f-712738c5c236Post:598585e1-35e4-4dce-9544-58c962ba516f">place settings for sale?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, I want to first disclaim that we are a lesbian couple getting married in Massachuestts and are super non-traditional. We are also very strapped for cash and want to have a fun and totally  "us "wedding.  I am a full time professional potter and I have been looking at place settings for months now but have found that nothing is better than something I can make for us myself.  Again...we are non-traditional....with liberal friends and very involved in the arts and crafts community.  I was wondering if I could make an etsy regestry for my own plates and have my friends/family buy them for us. In addition to getting exactly what we want it can help us pay for our wedding.  I know some high society gals will find this appalling. But, again we are working class, and I am in the arts community.  I own a local pottery collective and am a working potter and I can't find anything online I like better than something I can make myself.  If you are stuffy and conservative...please don't bash. I am just wanting some positive and good constructive  feedback on this. If you are in the crafts community and you find this off kilter, please say so.  Thanks!  Malea & Tina, Northampton MA
    Posted by MaleaTina[/QUOTE]
    No.  Just no.

    Oh wait, you wanted positive and constructive feedback.  No!  Just no!  Terrible idea!  If you want to make your own plates go ahead and do it, but don't try to get your guests to pay for it!   Yippee!



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    beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited November 2012
    If you can make it yourself, why do you need other people to pay for it?
    I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to do here. Are you going to make place settings, put them up for sale on etsy and then register for them? What will you do when people don't buy them for you or don't buy enough? I don't care who you or your friends are, that is rude. Registering for the material you would need to make them would be rude but registering for YOUR finished product would be ridiculous. 

    EDIT: Too many words. "the them" makes no sense...
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_place-settings-for-sale?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66f7fd95-672b-4a3f-bf1f-712738c5c236Post:0ca38568-b8dc-4d1d-a923-8c7106c03885">Re: place settings for sale?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you can make it yourself, why do you need other people to pay for it? I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to do here. <strong>Are you going to make place settings, put them up for sale on etsy and then register for them?</strong>  What will you do when people don't buy them for you or don't buy enough? I  don't care who you or your friends are, that is rude. Registering for the material you would need to make them would be rude but registering for YOUR finished product would be ridiculous.  EDIT: Too many words. "the them" makes no sense...
    Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yes. I think so. I don't get why she just doesn't make them herself. This is weird.

    </div>
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    Your post is a little unclear but it sounds to me like you want to register for place settings that you make yourself. I'm a little unsure if the place settings are for the wedding itself or for registering for gifts. Either way if you know that you really want to make your own place settings just go for it, no need to register and ask other people to pay for them.  Asking people to pay you for your own gift sounds very rude to me, regardless of the circle you're in. If you really want your guests to fund the place settings wait until after the wedding and use some of the cash you receive as gifts. If people ask about registries or what to get you tell them the truth, that you couldn't find place settings you liked anywhere but would really like to make your own once money isn't as tight. I think they would get the hint.

     

    I think you had an idea that what you're asking is a bit rude otherwise you wouldn't have posted on here so try not to be too  judgmental of people confirming what you already thought might be true.

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    Why not open up an etsy store and sell to many more people than your guests? That's a legitimate way to make money for your wedding. Don't register for your own goods, that is beyond rude. 
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2012
     I, too, find your comments and generalizations offensive.  I'm not bashing, I'm just taken aback at how you are using being non-traditional, artsy, and liberal  as an excuse to have other people pay for your wedding.

    What I am understanding is that you are capable of making the place settings you and your partner would like to have.  What a wonderful talent!  I don't have an artistic bone in my body. If you are going to make these, you will already own them.  Can you not see how tacky it would be to open a store to sell what you own so that it could be given to you as a gift and make a profit from it?

    It doesn't matter if you are homosexual or heterosexual.  Good manners and etiquette don't change or waiver due to one's gender preference.  

    I am one of those women who dreamed of my wedding as a small child.  I have had 2 weddings and neither of them even came close to being my dream wedding, but at the end of the day I was married and that is what counted.  Have the ceremony you can afford.  All that takes is the two of you, an officiate, and a couple of witnesses.  Anything else is extra and has to fit into what you can afford.  Please do not act on your idea.

    'ETA - I just reread your post and the part about "remember, we are working class", what is that all about.  Don't you think the rest of us are working class?  The rich elite of the world aren't hanging around on the knot.  Please read what you wrote and think about how offensive it is.
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    I would recommend against registering at your own store. In addition to looking greedy  and kinda ridiculous, using your wedding as a means to advertise your business is also just tacky. I'm am also an artist and also from the artsy area of MA (if you mean the Northampton area).
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    Make your plates for yourself. Make a small registry of things you need [I.e., not plates]. Small registries send the message that you may prefer cash without bluntly asking guests for cash.

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