Maid of honor?

kkelly86

Is it completely uncouth for you to be someones Maid of Honor and not ask them to be yours in return?

eastunder1

Its not required.  If the two of you are extremely close and she is pretty much expecting it,  there will probably be some hurt feelings and you"ll have to understand that  and deal with it accordingly.  But likewise, she will have to understand that someone else just may be more appropriate for the position.  Maybe you have a sister?  Maybe you're just not as close anymore?  These things happen. 

Is it a rule that you must reciprocate the maid of honor title?  No. 

JenGin74

I wasn't my MOH's MOH and I wasn't bothered by it at all.

thesuninherhead

Even though I refer to her as my MOH, I didn't actually officially designate titles to any of my BM's (we didn't do programs etc) and although she doesn't seem to be doing so either, I would imagine that if she had to name a MOH, it would be her sister rather than me. It doesn't bother me (and wouldn't even if my bridal party structure had been announced somehow.

angiems97

My MOH got married 6 years ago and she picked another girl who she met and became friends with earlier in college to be her MOH.  I was a little hurt, but tried to let it go. She picked me to be her son's godson.  She regrets her MOH pick because that girl did not help with anything and she doesn't even talk to her anymore.  I would have picked my othe rBM-my best friend these days-to be MOH but she would rather do anything than speak in front of a large group.  Although tonight she was up on stage with me, MOH, and another BM which I still can't believe (at bachelorette party.)  So you don't have to return the favor, but depending on how close you are, someone could get hurt.  Or can you have two maid of honors? I have heard of that.  

iamjoesgurl

I have been MOH in three weddings.  Two of those friends were not even in my wedding.  It was not because I don't still love them as friends, but I chose to have just my two sisters and a cousin be my MOH and BMs.  When you ask someone to be MOH, it is not usually on the condition that they will reciprocate.  

MattsPenguin

I am reciprocating for multiple reasons.  We are still very close and also, I know that she would have been very disappointed if she wasn't.  Just be sure to think about her feelings.  But it's not a hard and fast rule about it.

hd7694

Before I opened this you were kkelly86.  Now that it is open you are Knot Annie! hehe
The MOH is not something that has to be reciprocated.  If you are really good friends and you have a sister or somene who you want as your MOH, I would think that she would understand.  She may be a little hurt (that is natural) but surely she would understand.

Kristin789

Nope, that's fine.
Although maybe you should say both things in one sentence when you talk to this girl, like this:

"Taylor, I've asked Caitlin Johnson to be my MOH because you know we went to Europe together last year and all, but you know I totally value you and our friendship together, so I would really really like you to be the first BM in my wedding."

2dBride

My sister was my MOH in my first wedding.  When she got married, I was sort of playing mother of the bride (as our parents did not come), so I was not hers.  My daughter was my MOH, but I certainly would not expect to be hers if she ever gets married.