this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Do I invite her?

RADonnellyRADonnelly member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hey Ladies!

I have a slight problem with one of my invitees... I gave her a save the date awhile back, and now I don't want to give her an invitation. Here's the story:

I currently live in my sorority house with her and a few others (all of whom are invited to the wedding). For the past few weeks, I have been working a lot and wedding planning with my fiance, so I've either gotten back to the house super late or I've stayed at the fiance's house. Therefore, I haven't experienced this, but I've heard from the other girls that she's been crazy--screaming at them, trashing the house, badmouthing most of our sisters/the sorority, being sent to our standards board multiple times... the works. I KNOW that they don't want to be around this girl at the wedding, and honestly, I don't want her there either. I'm afraid she'll ruin my special day with uneccessary drama.

Since she and I haven't technically had a falling out, am I still obligated to invite her? I'm just very uncomfortable about her being there with these other girls who she "hates", at an event where she's not the center of attention (which she always has to be), because I think she'll make herself the center of attention by picking a fight.

Sorry it's so long, I just don't know what to do. Thank you in advance for any help you can give me! :)
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Do I invite her?

  • vanityinkvanityink member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you send someone a Save the Date, ettiquette says you have to send them an invite. 

    -but- if you're ready to completely cut her out of your life/end the friendship no, I suppose you don't have to. Just understand it isn't good ettiquette and you'll most likely lose any friendship you have with her over it. Up to you.
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
    Report Reply
  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yes, you are obligated to invite EVERYONE you gave an STD to. 



    Report Reply
  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-invite-her-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:671c3a01-0943-4954-bf10-7f1d327ed835Post:a1afa311-190e-44d7-8e56-1271c18e4b3c">Do I invite her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey Ladies! I have a slight problem with one of my invitees... I gave her a save the date awhile back, and now I don't want to give her an invitation. Here's the story: I currently live in my sorority house with her and a few others (all of whom are invited to the wedding). For the past few weeks, I have been working a lot and wedding planning with my fiance, so I've either gotten back to the house super late or I've stayed at the fiance's house. Therefore, I haven't experienced this, but I've heard from the other girls that she's been crazy--screaming at them, trashing the house, badmouthing most of our sisters/the sorority, being sent to our standards board multiple times... the works. I KNOW that they don't want to be around this girl at the wedding, and honestly, I don't want her there either. I'm afraid she'll ruin my special day with uneccessary drama. Since she and I haven't technically had a falling out, am I still obligated to invite her? I'm just very uncomfortable about her being there with these other girls who she "hates", at an event where she's not the center of attention (which she always has to be), because I think she'll make herself the center of attention by picking a fight. Sorry it's so long, I just don't know what to do. Thank you in advance for any help you can give me! :)
    Posted by RADonnelly[/QUOTE]
    JIC.



    Report Reply
  • arco13arco13 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-invite-her-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:671c3a01-0943-4954-bf10-7f1d327ed835Post:c6a36aa6-8848-4e8b-b2dd-e8240889672b">Re: Do I invite her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you send someone a Save the Date, ettiquette says you have to send them an invite.  -but- if you're ready to completely cut her out of your life/end the friendship no, I suppose you don't have to. Just understand it isn't good ettiquette and you'll most likely lose any friendship you have with her over it. Up to you.
    Posted by jessicadall[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This. Also, if she's so dramatic, consider the drama that will happen when all the other girls get invites and she doesn't, if you all still live in the house when the invites go out. It may be worth it to go ahead an invite her, especially if you're having a larger wedding. At every wedding I've been to, the bride barely had more than a minute to spend with each guest, so it's possible you'll hardly see her that day.</div>
    Report Reply
  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    If she got a save the date, she should get an invite.  I also would not make a decision about inviting someone based on what others have told you about her, since you say you have not experienced her behavior at all.  
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Unfortunately, if you gave her a save-the-date, you have to invite her.  I have to agree with the PP that you shouldn't base your judgments about what you haven't witnessed for yourself, but if you're worried that she'll act out at your wedding, have a DOC or someone ready to escort her out if necessary.
    Report Reply
  • MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Is your date correct?  It says you're getting married in 29 days.  Your invites should've already gone out.  
    Report Reply
  • NeedFavorsNeedFavors member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Unfortunately, there is always someone at the wedding who will have an issue that they are not the center of attention. If you have already given her an STD, I think you will be dealing with more drama if you don't invite her. Your sorority sister will hopefully deal with her and try to keep her under control and I agree you shouldn't make decisions based on rumors you heard about her.
    Need Wedding Favor Ideas? http://www.needweddingfavors.com
    Report Reply
  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    It's against etiquette, but if you are prepared to premanently end the friendship, I guess you don't actually have to. If she is that crazy, though, there's a chance she will find out where/when it is and come anyways.

    If it were me, I would send the invite.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-invite-her-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:671c3a01-0943-4954-bf10-7f1d327ed835Post:056c42eb-bd8e-47b2-93b9-2e5e8d2119c9">Re: Do I invite her?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she got a save the date, she should get an invite.  <strong><font color="#0000ff">I also would not make a decision about inviting someone based on what others have told you about her, since you say you have not experienced her behavior at all.</font></strong>  
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

    This is very true.  Invite her and expect the best!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards