usually just lurk - save the date even needed?

amyamcg

Hi all,

I usually just lurk on the boards here, but I have a question and figure this is the place to ask.

I'm getting married in May 2011 and am just wondering if we really need to do the Save the Date mailing or if we can get by with the invitation mailing alone.  We will be inviting about 140 people - most in the tri-state area.  If it's truly necessary from an etiquette standpoint, then we will do it, but money is very tight in our planning, so I am looking for ways to reduce the budget.

thanks in advance, I look forward to hearing from you.

Amy

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_usually-just-lurk-save-date-even-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67301a06-260b-4072-ad55-48db740b7031Post:32814999-467d-4a6c-acd0-3dfc9c7683c1">usually just lurk - save the date even needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all, I usually just lurk on the boards here, but I have a question and figure this is the place to ask. I'm getting married in May 2011 and am just wondering if we really need to do the Save the Date mailing or if we can get by with the invitation mailing alone.  We will be inviting about 140 people - most in the tri-state area.  If it's truly necessary from an etiquette standpoint, then we will do it, but money is very tight in our planning, so I am looking for ways to reduce the budget. thanks in advance, I look forward to hearing from you. Amy
Posted by amyamcg[/QUOTE]

<div>Nope, not necessary at all.  You could also do free E-STD's if you wanted, but it's again not necessary.  It's just a possibility that you will have more of a decline rate that if you sent them out.  But like 5 years ago people didn't even do them.  </div>

[Deleted User]

I've never received an STD, and this year alone I was invited to 3 weddings..before the Knot I didn't even know they were a big thing

[Deleted User]

Nope, not necessary. We didn't do them. Skipping them is a good way to save money. I hadn't really even heard of them before coming on TK.

Simply Fated

The STDs aren't mandatory. If you are concerned about anyone having to travel, even within the tri-state area, then you can always start spreading the news by word of mouth.
I think it's too close enough to May 2011 to do the STDs, anyway.

Moneypenny424

Totally unnecessary.  I get them for most weddings I go to (and we did them) because the majority of guests were from OOT.  Even for my wedding, my mom didn't want her guests getting STDs because she needed to finalize the list and she didn't see the point of them.

MyNameIsNot

I picked option 2, but option 3 is fine too.  

mkrupar

I think you're fine to go without. If you have OOT guests, maybe drop them a message giving them a heads up so they can make travel arrangements. But if most of the people are from your area you're fine to go with just the invitation.

garcias1

I would have chosen 2 and 3 if I could, but I just chose 2.  Since it's not a DW and most guests won't be traveling, STDs are not necessary.  At this point, you're so close to the wedding, that I wouldn't suggest it anyway.  Sending a STD 5 months out is not going to be much more helpful for planning long-distance travel than sending an invite 2 months in advance.  Just get information out by word of mouth.  If you want, you can do the e-STDs too.

Moneypenny424

Garcias (very close to my last name!), your puppy is ADORABLE!!!  I just want to hug it .

MMRoberts11

I wouldn't bother sending them out.  Just tell everyone who you will be inviting so they are aware of it and can make travel plans.  I'm not doing them either to save money (budget and DIY bride).  My FI and I are just telling people we know we will be inviting that this is our date.

mica178

We did them because over half of our guests were OOT.  However, you'll notice that a lot of the chaos/drama on this board comes from brides sending STDs to people they later decided they didn't want to invited.  If you have a fluctuating guest list or are still unsure of your budget, don't send STDs, or just send them to OOT relatives that you know for sure will be invited.  

garcias1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_usually-just-lurk-save-date-even-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67301a06-260b-4072-ad55-48db740b7031Post:dcb4fc66-ca0b-4f21-8dfc-712afe18b7ba">Re: usually just lurk - save the date even needed?</a>:
[QUOTE]Garcias (very close to my last name!), your puppy is ADORABLE!!!  I just want to hug it :).
Posted by Moneypenny424[/QUOTE]

Thanks Money :)  That's when she was a little younger, so she's bigger now, but still as huggable.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You do not need them. However, you can also do an email. Personally, I signed up for offers from Vistaprint and got 100 free postcards with our wedding info. I only paid for shipping and postage, which for me came to about $12 (postcard stamps are cheaper).

futurepivko

we did them. i got engaged in feb and wedding is April 30. we did them because my FILs actually asked for them to be sent to their family, who dont live in the same state that i do. they are totally unncessary though, especially in your position being 5 months away

LoveMuffins

I originally wanted them, because I thought they were a "must do" as well, but when my mom said that she wanted to skip them in order to save money, I researched and found that they're really mostly for out of town guests anyway, so that they can make travel plans. If you don't have a lot of out of town guests, I wouldn't bother. You can even just send e-save the dates to the few out of towners that you have, if you want to make sure they have time to make plans.

DramaGeek

When I was planning, the only people who sent STDs were people who were having destination weddings or who had a very large percentage of OOT guests (so see beach, people did send them 5+ years ago!).  Somehow that has morphed into everyone sending them all the time, even for a wedding that is local to everyone.  Wedding industry making money and all that.  Anyway, you're totally fine not to send them.  We had OOT guests that we wanted to make sure would be there, so we - gasp! - picked up the phone and called to let them know the date once it was set.  This gave them a years notice and we didn't have to pay for anything.

ehathewa

STDs aren't required.  If you think people need more time to plan a trip and book hotels and email STD wouldn't be a bad idea.  Make a pretty JPG image with a pic of you and your FI, the information, and send that instead of a boring text only email.  Very easy and fast!