Officiant Freak-out

janedoe1113a

Let me preface this saying that our officiant is a family friend.

Our officiant called us last night and said that her father was just diagnosed with a couple week so to live.  So if he dies this week, we're obviously out of an officiant because she's going to go up there to be with family.

So now I'm having to email everyone I know that can perform a wedding ceremony and ask them if they'd be willing to be a back-up in case our original officiant can't make it.

This is not what I want to deal with a week before the wedding.  I  completely understand her needing to go up with her dad and don't blame her one bit, but it still sucks.

opalsky007

I'm really sorry you (and your officiant!) are having to deal with this.
 
On the bright side, at least you know early so you can make backup plans. Better than finding out the night before the wedding!

brookelynpaisley

That does suck. That's the last thing I would have wanted to think about the week beforehand. I'm sure you'll find someone to pinhc hit.

And holy cow, a week!!

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_officiant-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67ea1ef9-8254-4986-985c-d11c4a82e1e7Post:1363371b-9237-45fd-8b6c-7fded5f290ac">Re: Officiant Freak-out</a>:
[QUOTE]And holy cow, a week!!
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

I know!

Yea, I'm really glad she gave us a week's notice just in case it happens, but I'm so worried we might not be able to line anyone up.

brookelynpaisley

I wonder if your local board has any leads for you? My husband is ordained through the ULC, but that doesn't help you much from Arizona.

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_officiant-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67ea1ef9-8254-4986-985c-d11c4a82e1e7Post:ec84ea21-4241-4497-8beb-f86958ca9fd1">Re: Officiant Freak-out</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder if your local board has any leads for you? My husband is ordained through the ULC, but that doesn't help you much from Arizona.
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

Sadly most of the people on my local board are in the next city over.  I will try to see the couple Tallahassee girls we have can help.  I know one of them is using a family friend too.

My old speech teacher is ordained to do weddings, so I'm going to email him and see what he says.

WildRumpus

I'm sorry Navy. On the bright side, I think anyone can get ordained by ULC, and quickly.

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_officiant-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67ea1ef9-8254-4986-985c-d11c4a82e1e7Post:3b5b2d73-1c0f-4b7f-8009-8b88a03bed96">Re: Officiant Freak-out</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry Navy. On the bright side, I think anyone can get ordained by ULC, and quickly.
Posted by Jill9288[/QUOTE]

Is it really that quick?  I haven't looked into it. 

In FL you don't actually have to be ordained, you can just be a notary (which is very helpful!)

Mrs.B6302007

Sorry for the added stress, Navy.  My mom's a notary....I'll send her up. ;-)

Are any of your friends' parents or family members notaries?

brookelynpaisley

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_officiant-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:67ea1ef9-8254-4986-985c-d11c4a82e1e7Post:4c2e877c-f4d7-4218-96f5-5feb5c8247c3">Re: Officiant Freak-out</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Officiant Freak-out : Is it really that quick?  I haven't looked into it.  In FL you don't actually have to be ordained, you can just be a notary (which is very helpful!)
Posted by navybaby1113[/QUOTE]

Yep, you literally just put your name in. It depends on the state whether they accept it or not - they have different definitions of "clergy" and meeting the requirements.

katiewhompus

That sucks for everyone around I'm sorry you had to get this stress the week before the wedding. Could you call the court house(s) and see if they have anyone who would travel and be your officiant?

WildRumpus

Navy:

http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=ordination

janedoe1113a

Thanks ladies.  I'll look into all these options. 

morainemom

Can your family friend officant give you some names of other officiants?
They usually network together and meet socially.

I hope everything works out  - and how incredibly sad for your officiant's father. 

janedoe1113a

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_officiant-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:67ea1ef9-8254-4986-985c-d11c4a82e1e7Post:d762f8a3-4fa7-495e-b41b-2f09a28db7a2">Re: Officiant Freak-out</a>:
[QUOTE]Can your family friend officant give you some names of other officiants? They usually network together and meet socially. I hope everything works out  - and how incredibly sad for your officiant's father.  :(
Posted by morainemom[/QUOTE]

She lives a few hours away, so I'm not sure another officiant would want to travel without charging us an arm and a leg. 

I've never met my officiant's father, but she seems pretty torn up about it.  I can't even imagine what she's going through.

2dBride

Do be careful about the online ordination thing--see this article from the New York Times on the potential legal pitfalls (which you likely wouldn't find out until his death or if he left you, at which point you wouldn't have the rights you thought you did).  If you cannot find an officiant, it is probably worthwhile to have at least a brief courthouse wedding for paperwork purposes, and then have whatever ceremony you want after that.

hayleymajayley

I wish Notaries could marry people here! I'm a Notary! Not that I'd marry anyone, just the fact that I COULD would be pretty darn cool

quotequeen

Notaries are pretty easy to come by.  Do you know any legal secretaries/paralegals?  They are often notaries.

Crissyo

This situation stinks! I will say though that given the situation your friend is going through, my advice would be to find someone and secure them and tell your friend not to even worry about it.  It will create more stress if you are going day to day wondering if she is officiating or not? So, once you find someone I would book them, and tell your friend that she does not have to worry about it...