My grandfather and one of my uncles are recently deceased. How would I address the envelopes to my grandmother and my aunt? "Mrs. John Smith" or "Mrs. Jane Smith"? Should the envelopes also include "and guest"? My mom says having "and guest" for my aunt and grandma's invitations is the proper thing to do, but I wasn't so sure. Neither one of them are dating any one, that's why I think "and guest" would not be appropriate. Also, I think my grandma's guest would be her ex-daughter-in-law (my ex-aunt). I had planned on inviting my uncle and his new girlfriend, and if my grandma brings his ex-wife as a guest, I think that would cause some serious drama.
Please help!
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Re: Addressing Envelopes to Widows
As for the guests, I would invite them both +1. It's a nice courtesy and they may be dating someone privately without anyone knowing thus far.
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You can use her name Jane but it would be addressed as Ms. Jane Smith.
HTH
I am not inviting them to bring dates. The only widow who will actually attend our wedding is my aunt, and her husband passed away in September. I think it might be offensive to invite her to bring a date after 44 years of marriage, actually. Plus she will know my dad, my brother, and her daughter, son-in-law and grandson are also invited.
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What's the proper etiquette on this? I think someone could write a book on invitation etiqeutte for weddings.
As for the guest, that's kind of awkward. We invited everyone with a guest with some exceptions -- like his widowed grandmother. She wasn't seeing anyone and it would have been just plain weird to invite her with a guest. I know my grandmothers were not invited with guests to events after they were widowed. On the other hand, they were pretty old and neither dated. If it were someone younger, or someone you knew was dating, then yes, I'd invite with a guest.