Parents separated---getting divorced...

rachjim

So for the engagement annoucment I submitted it as my mother's name (maiden) and my father's name are proud to annouce....

So for the invitation (I just have a mock up on the computer)...but I have my mother's maiden name and my father request the honor of your presence....

So for the program, I was playing with it and realized I had my father's name listed first and then my mom under "Parents of the Bride."

My question is...am I supposed to have my mother listed first on everything? For my FI's parents, I have Father and Mother Last Name (they are married).

HELP! I'm so confused!

tenofcups4me

Standard rules of etiquette do say your mom's name would go first in all those scenarios. Also, for your FI's parents, it would be mom and dad lastname (mom first there too). (Whether or not you choose to follow those rules is up to you, but that's the standard.)

thesuninherhead

I don't have any advice regarding your OP, but I must say that your sig picture rather looks as though there's a lot more going on up against that tree than I want to know about... 

rachjim

Thank you tenofcups.

Thesuninherhead~ haha Is that a compliment or criticism?

thesuninherhead

Haha I'm not sure myself! It just looks like there's... more going on down below the field of view for that shot! ;P

I looked at your bio after making that comment and saw your e-pics though- very cute, love the pic of you guys holding hands.

rachjim

haha Well thank you! The photographers were so happy I'm not the "typical midwestern bride"....many of the pics I told them what I came up with on my own and the head photographer said they wouldn't work...he told me when we got them back that I was right. teehee

kelly&wayne

My parents are divorced and everything was listed with my Mom first, using her maiden name, then my Dad.  Since we did it that way for my parents, we kept the same order for FI's parents, who are married.

andy71781

Mom first, then Dad - seperate lines with no "and" between them.

ps - your pic is awesome.

crfische

I'm a little...ummm...something (?) about your picture. If you want people to think your fiance is banging you against that tree everytime you post, I suppose it's not bad.

It wouldn't be MY first choice, however.

september's bride

I agree with Fische completely on this one. It's not that your pic is blatantly offensive or anything, because it's actually quite pretty. It just really implies tree-banging, and it's too early on a Sunday for me to get on board with that.

ETA: as for the actual question you had, I'm fairly sure that you're supposed to have your mom's name come first in a case like this, and couples with the same last name always have the woman listed first. Really, it's not going to be a huge issue - just write it out the way you're comfortable with. It will be fine.

Lisa8888

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-separated-getting-divorced?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:692763c5-577c-4048-8e71-f600e68f5373Post:cbf878b2-97eb-4093-b8bf-5a17c6a13234">Re: Parents separated---getting divorced...</a>:
[QUOTE]Mom first, then Dad - seperate lines with no "and" between them. ps - your pic is awesome.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

I agree with the above. And if your parents are not legally divorced yet and your mother has not legally changed her last name, her last name is her married name.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-separated-getting-divorced?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:692763c5-577c-4048-8e71-f600e68f5373Post:26fbf9da-ddbc-42e3-aa0f-bd92a2fc9eb4">Re: Parents separated---getting divorced...</a>:
[QUOTE]I<strong>'m a little...ummm...something (?) about your picture.</strong> If you want people to think your fiance is banging you against that tree everytime you post, I suppose it's not bad. It wouldn't be MY first choice, however.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
<p> </p><p>This is exactly what I'd written in my first post about it (above) before realising that I probably needed to be a little more descriptive and editing! haha. </p>

rachjim

haha too funny. K, thanks everyone. They're not divorced yet, but they probably will be...they despise each other, so I figured I'd use her maiden name.

Our e-pics were taken in a public park...I don't think there would have been a window of opportunity for any "tree banging." I'm a small-town girl, and I think that sounds painful. lol There are other pics of us against the tree that aren't so close-up...you can see we are fully clothed and he's not even against me.

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-separated-getting-divorced?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:692763c5-577c-4048-8e71-f600e68f5373Post:028f0f45-b2f6-4460-911e-11436f150df3">Re: Parents separated---getting divorced...</a>:
[QUOTE]haha too funny. K, thanks everyone. They're not divorced yet, but they probably will be...they despise each other, so I figured I'd use her maiden name. Posted by rachjim[/QUOTE]

Have you checked that with her? The majority of divorced women I know did NOT go back to their birth name when they got divorced. In fact, I'm not sure I can think of one who did, but I definitely can't think of any who had been married for a while who did.

rachjim

She has already changed her name on her stationary, FB, anything that lists her full name. She wants nothing to do with him or his name. They've been saying since I was little they were getting "divorced"...but they never went through with it. This time, it is happening for sure. She is moving out and they have both told me instead of just her. I'm not printing them or anything yet...just have them on the computer and confused about how to write it.

tenofcups4me

Just checking -- the way you wrote it in that one post it sounded more like they were getting a divorce and you'd decided to use her birth name, rather than that was something she was doing herself!

rachjim

No...well I asked her when I was writing up the engagement annoucement and she said that's what she wanted anyway. It's a long and twisted story, but I know they don't want to be listed together. I have a VERY dysfunctional family. Very.

PandaBurr

I have to agree with fishy. I think it's because your eyes are closed. I'm sure you guys weren't doing the do, but it really does look like that, especially since I haven't looked at any of your other pictures.

crfische

Public park or not, it looks like you're banging. And it's kinda weird. Well...really weird.

I can't wait for P2 to see it.

rachjim

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-separated-getting-divorced?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:692763c5-577c-4048-8e71-f600e68f5373Post:cc65c79b-e645-4ec7-8f6c-f182b9519201">Re: Parents separated---getting divorced...</a>:
[QUOTE]Public park or not, it looks like you're banging. And it's kinda weird. Well...really weird. I can't wait for P2 to see it.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

P2?

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_parents-separated-getting-divorced?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:692763c5-577c-4048-8e71-f600e68f5373Post:cc65c79b-e645-4ec7-8f6c-f182b9519201">Re: Parents separated---getting divorced...</a>:
[QUOTE]Public park or not, it looks like you're banging. 
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahaha yeah it does.</div>