Should guests pay for their dinner at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding?

amiechoate

My fiance has been told that wedding etiquette has changed and that it is not uncommon to ask guests at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding to pay for their own dinner. I've never heard of this before. What do you think?

MrsMack10612

Absolutely not!  I'm not sure who your FI heard that from - but you should host your guests at the RD and the wedding.  They should not have to open their wallets for anything.

LizzyRB

No way

lindseyann410

Tacky is right.  I would be appalled if I was asked to pay for my mean as a guest at a wedding.

AdeleDazeem

Was he joking?  Because... no. 

Summer2011Bride

No way, Jose. Absolutely not!

AMISSA31

No

hoffse

No.  I really hope he was kidding.  If not, a quick search will let you cite a lot of etiquette books that say this is the biggest no-no ever.

LesPaul

No.  They're GUESTS.  You are hosting them. 

sanderskn

Absolutely not! I have never heard of this and as a guest I would be so appalled if I went to a wedding that asked me to pay for my own dinner. Do you ask guests to pay when you invite them over to a party at your house?! It's the same thing, you are the host and hostess.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-guests-pay-for-their-dinner-at-the-rehearsal-dinner-and-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:692ad844-6b45-4289-aba1-9dc310acbd9cPost:6e25276a-c01d-4f49-b8cf-0a9d2fc3e1b8">Should guests pay for their dinner at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Help!! My fiance has been told that wedding etiquette has changed and that it is not uncommon to ask guests at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding to pay for their own dinner. I've never heard of this before. It seems tacky.
Posted by amiechoate[/QUOTE]

StephBeanWed61502

At risk of beating a dead horse, this belongs on the list of "things that are never ever under any circumstances ever okay."

MNVegas

Your FI needs to stop listening to whoever is telling him this crap! Obviously the answer is NO you do not make your guests pay for their dinner. 

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-guests-pay-for-their-dinner-at-the-rehearsal-dinner-and-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:692ad844-6b45-4289-aba1-9dc310acbd9cPost:6e25276a-c01d-4f49-b8cf-0a9d2fc3e1b8">Should guests pay for their dinner at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance has been told that wedding etiquette has changed and that it is not uncommon to ask guests at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding to pay for their own dinner. I've never heard of this before. What do you think?
Posted by amiechoate[/QUOTE]

No way! Do NOT ask your guests to do this.

jemmini6

I hope this is a joke....

In other words, THIS IS NOT, HAS NEVER BEEN, AND WILL NEVER BE AN ACCEPTABLE THING TO DO, EVER.

kmmssg

Find out who told him this so you can make sure he doesn't get any further advice from this ill mannered person!  Like the others said, there is absolutely NO time this is acceptable.

MyUserName1

H actually had to pay for his dinner at a rehearsal dinner where he was the best man. And he didn't even know ahead of time- he found out when the waiter handed him his bill.  

He still hasn't quite gotten over the rudeness of that and it was 7-8 years ago.

SVPW

I don't think it's ok. My brother and his now ex wife had to pay for their own dinner at their friends actual wedding! Now that is bad. The bride bought a 4,000 dollar dress but said she couldn't afford to feed her guests.

banana468

Your FI needs to buy those people an etiquette book.

scstar17

Do you think maybe this was a misunderstanding and the fiancee meant that the cash gift  is equal to the price of your plate? 

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-guests-pay-for-their-dinner-at-the-rehearsal-dinner-and-at-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:692ad844-6b45-4289-aba1-9dc310acbd9cPost:6e25276a-c01d-4f49-b8cf-0a9d2fc3e1b8">Should guests pay for their dinner at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance has been told that wedding etiquette has changed and that it is not uncommon to ask guests at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding to pay for their own dinner. I've never heard of this before. What do you think?
Posted by amiechoate[/QUOTE]

I have no doubt your FI has heard these things, but that doesn't mean it's right.  Yes, traditions are changing but etiquette has not.  Guests should not have to pay for anything, except maybe their parking (and that's up for debate), but definitely not their meals or beverages (hard or soft).