Entree Choice Etiquette?

AlexiaANDRobert

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:53595452-1097-4bf5-a884-42cc1105bf74">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh, I had a buffet.  I'm TOTALLY TRASHY.
Posted by mag920[/QUOTE]

Me too!!!

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:0dcf92c9-a923-47f0-9144-6764b192f388">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Entree Choice Etiquette? : Yeah, I've worked in restaurants before.  There is no way they'd seat and serve 100+ people at once.  I'm picturing the reactions of some of the kitchen guys if this were ever to happen... hahahaha.
Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]

DH has done table side ordering for 200 people before.  But let me tell you it will cost you a pretty penny.  In order to make it work he has to pre-sear about 80% of each item then sous vide the food until it's ready to serve.   In some cases he can use any left over product, but once fish or meat has been cooked he can't  and has to toss it.  That is a lot of money down the drain, so he charges you a lot to make up for the waste.

ZoeTheDog

Alexis it's true, I swear!!  I worked as a bridal attendent on Long Island from 1998 to 2004/5 and we ONLY did tableside ordering.  So this is definitely not new everywhere. 

Meaghan or Tanny, I wonder what the reaction would be to this if we posed this question in the CT board...

MeaghanandMichael

Zoe- thankfully, I find the CT brides a bit more forgiving about budgets and trends, but it would be interesting to see.

missy68

I did full menu tableside ordering, but then again, we were only feeding about 20 people for dinner in a regular restaurant. Huge difference.  I'd never thought twice about getting a dinner option card in an rsvp.

ZoeTheDog

But I like reading the responses of the Etiquette brides so much more haha. 

And none of you girls are trashy...it's the crazy NY/CT people up here who are too rich for their own good. 

ZRex

I like tableside, but the caterers/halls usually charge an extra, per person fee for it.  So I'm a fan of just sending choices in the RSVP cards.  Unless you are having a super crazy awesome menu, it's usually beef, fish, or veggie anyway.

Soon2BeMrsTing

CT-born and raised here, and let me just tell you every time I sneak a peek at all the goodies on my BUFFET menu (the wedding is in New Haven, so SW CT), I drool a little.  I will neither hide that fact nor make apologies, because I am anticipating some well-fed and happy guests. 

tannymcgee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:8aaaec61-9586-4c95-9032-a12e2c04dc64">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]But I like reading the responses of the Etiquette brides so much more haha.  And none of you girls are trashy...it's the crazy NY/CT people up here who are too rich for their own good. 
Posted by ZoeTheDog[/QUOTE]

how about this -- when i was trying on wedding dresses at a pretty nice boutique, the girl who had the appt before me was  HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT buying a WEDDING DRESS for her GRADUATION.  ok, she was trying on some of the same dresses as me!!  connecticut folks.. you have to love it.

sucrets4

I can't read the poll so I don't know what it says, but most of the weddings I've been to have had table side ordering.  The waiter would come over and explain the meals and then take our choices.  And even if a veg meal wasn't mentioned, they'd always provide one.

I don't think it's a huge deal to order before hand, though.  As long as the meals are explained more than 'beef' or 'chicken'.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:0f22ef6b-6f92-4233-9f76-fa658ec02556">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Alexis it's true, I swear!! <strong> I worked as a bridal attendent on Long Island from 1998 to 2004/5 and we ONLY did tableside ordering.</strong>  So this is definitely not new everywhere.  Meaghan or Tanny, I wonder what the reaction would be to this if we posed this question in the CT board...
Posted by ZoeTheDog[/QUOTE]

Ah!  See, I'm not crazy!  Where did you work, Zoe?

sucrets4

Okay, I'm only replying to myself at this point, but I realized that I've ordered tableside for lots of other things as well.

For example, my county (Suffolk) association for music teachers has a HUGE banquet thingy every year. (It's at Villa Lombardi's in Holbrook, if anyone knows where I'm talking about)  There are probably 400-500 people there and all ordering is done tableside. 

There are also drink tickets, but since it's not a wedding, they're no big deal.  :-P

As other people have said, I think many catering halls on LI automatically do it.

luckyme502

We asked our caterer about this, she said we have to have the count of who is ordering what 2 weeks out.  The reason is they are a small B&B and would never be able to use the unordered food.  I have eaten there a few times, and the food is awesome, we love the venue, it's the pic in my siggy.  I have never been to a wedding with table side ordering. 

DeeLovesChad

I love tableside ordering!  My venue charges the same price whether our guests order tableside or ahead of time so we went with tableside.  It's a restaurant and we have a smaller guest list (120) so I'm sure it's a bit easier logistically than if our venue was a hotel ballroom.  That being said, it's definitely not trashy or rude to have guests select meals ahead of time.  If you're feeding me I really don't care when the meal selection is made.

SarahPLiz

Ive never heard of tableside ordering before. I've always had to choose an entree before, or it was a buffet. That didn't offend me at all.

Our guests don't get a choice. We only have 2 vegetarians on the guest list and they have ok'd the menu, as have our families. We are heavy on the vegetables but are having beef as the meat. I guess if you know your crowd well, and its small enough, this is possible.

mags0607

I have been to one tableside orderng wedding, at it was actually up in Connecticut a few months back.

Even the most expensive, black tie calliber weddings I have been to in New Orleans do buffet options with continuos hand passed hors d'ourves. They might have Filet Mignon carving stations, and a raw bar, but they are still buffet style.

quotequeen

I don't see what the issue is with ordering before hand AT ALL... you're presumably going to pick an option you generally like, so even if it's not what you would have ordered in a restaurant that day, who cares?  You usually only get 2-3 choices so it's not like you would really be able to get that softshell crab you were craving anyway.

None of the venues I looked at mentioned an option of tableside ordering, and the venue I chose requires not just numbers, but to know what each individual ordered, so I don't have any choice (unless I want to do a buffet, which I don't).  If anybody is offended by this... it's one time I don't think I will particularly care.

LarissaAnn

I've never been to a wedding that required choosing ahead.  All of the weddings here, as far as I know, do tableside ordering.

LarissaAnn

Question:

Since I've never seen it done, now I'm curious.  When you do pre-ordered choices on an RSVP card, does the card detail the options completely?  I mean, does it say "Fish," or does it say, "Pistachio Encrusted Pan Seared Red Snapper with blah blah blah Cream Sauce," etc?

I'm asking because that was our fish option at our venue (I don't remember what the sauce was called), and if we just said "fish," people wouldn't know (1) is it a kosher species, (2) that there are nuts involved in case of allergies, (3) that there's a cream sauce in case of lactose intolerance, (4) that it's snapper in case of general dislike.

With tableside ordering, the description is given by the server, and then the guest can ask detailed questions on top of that.

I don't know how the venues here do it, but we had tableside with 3 options (chicken/beef/fish) plus a veg option used by one single guest.

ggmae

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_entree-choice-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:69940c52-edad-4742-acdc-e502c0f7fe3fPost:06f06c83-bb1f-49f3-93b2-39e4ff338842">Re: Entree Choice Etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah I had choices beforehand at my wedding, but tons of people in my area now (Southern CT) absolutely are poo-pooing the idea of choices beforehand. They think it is trashy. I mean, they REALLY hate it. To be honest it never occurred to me NOT to do choices, and I called my venue out of curiosity and they told me I didn't have to do choices beforehand. Well thanks for telling me then!!
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Our venue (both original and final venues actually) required that our guests choose their meals beforehand if we were doing a sit-down dinner. They wanted to make sure that they had enough of each entree on hand. This backfired though because about 4 tables worth of guests changed their mind or forgot what they had ordered - so when the waiters came around to double check meal selections with each of our guests, they were given different answers. Our venue tried its best to accommodate guests' new selections, but they couldn't do it for everyone and it delayed the meal by 30 min. I was a bit pissed.

I wouldn't call it trashy though. I think those people are overreacting and are just trying to find something to biitch about.

jamiefour

I am from NY westchester area.  The only wedding I went to that we had to order beforehand was in Florida and I was surprised to see it but I didn't think it was rude.  Like a lot of PP's said it is probably a NY, NJ, CT (tri-state area) thing.  I also wonder if they explain the choices or just write fish, beef, and chicken.  The only one we had like this was not explained.

caketime

Yup, every venue I went to was tableside ordering.  It's not snobby, it's not "more classy", it is not more expensive.  In fact, doing buffet here can be the same or more expensive.  And yes, it works fine when it is 50 or 300 people.

I have only had to pre-order a meal once before as it was an out-of-state wedding and no I did not mind or find it rude.  The only part I was unhappy with was that it just said beef, chicken, or fish.  A little detail on each would have been nice.

JanoBean75

FI's father had a fixed menu where we were offered a choice between three entrees, etc. He had less than 30 guests, so it wasn't terribly difficult for the restaurant to prepare.

I wanted to do the same, but our restaurant prefers to know ahead of time since the cooking time really varies (lamb, baked chicken, and crab).

shannonalise

Our caterer told us (and this makes sense) that when you don't have an exact head-count, they have to bring enough of everything in the unlikely (but still possible) event that everyone orders the same thing. Seems like a huge waste of food and $ to me. I don't see anything wrong with providing guests with the menu choices and having them decide what they are going to want beforehand. That certainly wouldn't matter to me personally either.