Tracking down no responses

starzwonder

Is it too tacky to use Facebook or other social media?  or email?

I'm torn, because it's rude in the first place not to return the card, they would have no right to be upset that I used Facebook; but then...it's FACEBOOK.

barbbhoww

I think that you should find out however you want....they are the ones who are tacky and never responded.  I wouldn't like put it on their "wall" or anything though.

georgia_bride09

Honestly, just save yourself the trouble of waiting on people to check their e-mail/ FB/ whatever, and just call them. Then you know for sure.

I didn't vote in your poll, as "just call them already" wasn't an option.

apple_green

I fully intend to use Facebook and email.

waltzingmatilda13

I don't think it matter, you just need to get in touch with them any way you can. I might try calling first, though, it's a little more personal.

Julz629

At this point, I think it's OK to get in contact with them whatever way is easiest and most convenient for you.  Whether that be calling, texting, email, etc.  Just get a hold of them.

clearheavens

You need to call.

katiewhompus

Just get in touch with them the easiest way.

I'm also a bit intrigued be the "they had stamps" answer. Are you expecting them to mail the rsvp card back after contacting them?

stillundecided4

Please please please PLEASE call them! I recently received a facebook message from someone asking if I was coming to their wedding. I NEVER received the invite! Of course I didn't respond. I find it rude that I got the message when this person is actually my FI 's friend not mine. I still don't even have the full details on this wedding since this person has yet to call us about it and we still haven't received our invite. I hate how "we" use the internet to communicate. (as I type my response on a message board  )

[Deleted User]

You know your family and friends best. I honestly don't think it matters as long as you get in touch with them. It is important to have accurate final numbers to tell your venue.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tracking-down-responses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6995936e-94d9-4320-a5f9-5ce0286bd73aPost:ad6437b8-f18e-464c-87ff-e9d38f1053d5">Re: Tracking down no responses</a>:
[QUOTE]Please please please PLEASE call them! I recently received a facebook message from someone asking if I was coming to their wedding. I NEVER received the invite! Of course I didn't respond. I find it rude that I got the message when this person is actually my FI 's friend not mine. I still don't even have the full details on this wedding since this person has yet to call us about it and we still haven't received our invite. I hate how "we" use the internet to communicate. (as I type my response on a message board  )
Posted by stillundecided4[/QUOTE]

You should really respond and let them know that you didn't receive the invitation.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tracking-down-responses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6995936e-94d9-4320-a5f9-5ce0286bd73aPost:ad6437b8-f18e-464c-87ff-e9d38f1053d5">Re: Tracking down no responses</a>:
[QUOTE]Please please please PLEASE call them! I recently received a facebook message from someone asking if I was coming to their wedding. I NEVER received the invite! Of course I didn't respond. I find it rude that I got the message when this person is actually my FI 's friend not mine. I still don't even have the full details on this wedding since this person has yet to call us about it and we still haven't received our invite. I hate how "we" use the internet to communicate. (as I type my response on a message board  )
<p>Posted by stillundecided4[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>If you didn't respond, how on earth are they to know that you didn't receive your invitation?  I think you need to get over yourself a bit - it's not THAT rude to send a private message to someone via facebook.  </p>

bombtones

I sent out a number of private FB messages (not wall posts) to friends, and I had all of my missing family members email addresses so I sent them a quick note. Honestly, if they don't have the decency to send the card back, then I am going to get in touch with them in whatever way is easiest for ME. 

mysticl

I would use the message function on fb (and probably will), just don't post it on their wall.  This is how I tracked down some of the snail mail addresses for invites.  I don't have phone numbers for some people and for some of my friends fb is actually a faster form of communication then calling them. 

stillundecided4

A little late to reply to you guys, but I did respond to her. My FI called her as soon as I got the facebook message and told her to call him back. I also sent her an email letting her know that we didn't get the invite. All is settled but I think there was a better way for her to reach us. Also, she sent a mass facebook message to about 10 people. I wasn't the only one on this list.

honeybunches101

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tracking-down-responses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6995936e-94d9-4320-a5f9-5ce0286bd73aPost:ad6437b8-f18e-464c-87ff-e9d38f1053d5">Re: Tracking down no responses</a>:
[QUOTE]Please please please PLEASE call them!
Posted by stillundecided4[/QUOTE]

I disagree. I hate talking on the phone, and even if I liked it, I'd feel put on the spot if someone called me. It's rude not to RSVP by the deadline, but maybe they're still trying to decide if they can afford to travel or take time off work or whatever, and it could be awkward or embarrassing for them to have to explain it to you over the phone. E-mail is probably better than facebook, because not everyone check their messages all the time. In an e-mail or FB message, people can come up with a tactful excuse for why they can't make it, or for why they haven't sent in the RSVP cards.

2dBride

We used everything short of carrier pigeon--phone, IM, e-mail, text, Facebook.  People who haven't responded are likely to be embarrassed enough about it not to object to the form of the reminder.

cfbaillargeon

Don't people ever call anymore? What's wrong with picking up the phone?
If you invited them to your wedding, you should feel comfortable enough with them to talk to them on the phone! Just explain that you have to get the final count to your caterer and you just need a yes or no, and you fully understand if they can't make it!
I would not be offended nor feel put on the spot if someone called me, especially since it would be my fault for not sending the reply card!. Personally,  think facebook is tacky, but if you use it often to communicate with your friends, then I guess it would be OK... but a phone call would definitely be my first choice.

kaceymc

I just used Facebook to ask only my friends if they were coming to the wedding.  If they are anything like me, they wouldn't care at all to get a message that says "Hey are you coming to the wedding?"  Most of the responses were apologies for not sending them in in the first place.  And besides, they are my friends, not just an acquaintance who is not informally associated with me.

CharacterFan

It depends on the person and your personal use of facebook. 

I use Facebook a lot, and so do most my friends. If they forget to RSVP by the date I'll shoot them a facebook message just as a reminder to visit our website and fill out our rsvp form. 

nicholeanddave

I have to chime in-

I am tracking EVERYTHING on FB and EVite- Shower, Bachelorette and Wedding.  I have lost ALL FAITH in the US PS.  It took THREE weeks for some invites to arrive to my guests- if they arrive at ALL!!!

Its embarrassing when your future M I L asks "did you invite so and so" and of course you did and you are mortified that they NEVER received any mail from you at all. 

Its the 21st Century...people are tryign to save money, save the environment, etc....I say do it all digitally from the get-go.  Don't waste money, paper, resources...SORRY Paper Companies-  NOT SORRY US PS. 

Best of Luck all

Nichole  10-16-10
twitter: websocialite

JohnCarrieC

I think it's tacky to use Facebook to invite someone.  However, I did use it to get a hold of people who did not send in the response card.  The fact is people do check Facebook a lot and sometimes it's just easiest to connect with someone that way, but I would not go posting on people's walls about it.  Send them a private message.

[Deleted User]

I accidently misread the poll I should have clicked yes, but but no instead.

I used FB to get some of my RSVP's back, I think it's REALLY rude they didn't respond so I don't really care if trhey think it's rude for me to message them on FB to get an answer, I mean really the response card is usually just checking yes or no, and then writing a name, the postage is included. 

now I would say doing all the invites on FB is a little, unorthadox, but I'm not here to judge

mkjpop

I'm fine with sending a private message (NO WALL!), but just putting it out there that some people don't have email notifications - so even if you send them a message, they might not have received it. I don't think it's rude to contact via a private — not group — message.

hsunij

I would say whatever way you use to contact them is still energy and fb is VERY useful for those things. I texted, called, emailed, people and they never responded... once I FB'ed them... DING DING DING, I got a response in 5 mintues. I=Maybe I'm tacky, but I dont care. It got the job done.

mrs.emily.brand

I actually made a private event page for it. made my "assistants" admins to help take care of the info management. It has been such a stress releiver.

dainamariekennedy

facebook is tacky!

A wedding website would be prefect if you're just starting the process.

If you aren't.... get out the phone!

keeponbelievin

I am having an out-of-state destination wedding, and had planned on sending a link to our wedding website via Facebook/email/etc. to those invited. I don't plan to "invite" them through facebook, I am still mailing invitations, but I wanted to give them as MUCH notice as possible so that they could start planning and looking into accomodations. I prefer a wedding website to a "Save the Date" card, especially in our circumstances. Through the website, guests have  access to the lodging and site information, too. As many have said, a lot of people check facebook regularly. To me, it is just another form of communication. Because our wedding is out of state, I feel that guests need more than 3-4 weeks notice.  However, due to the fact that my groom is in the military, I don't feel comfortable ordering the invites too far in advance, just in case we have to bump the date or something. But, I  also don't want to give my guests last minute notice, either. If I know that facebook/email is the best way to get the word (wedding website link) out, I will use that method in addition to a formal invite.. When it comes down to it, most guests would be more concerned with having the necessary information than with the exact way that they received that information.

ipokem

In todays world I think it's perfectly acceptable to RSVP anyway you see fit. I use to be one of those horrible people that NEVER sent back the RSVP!!That has all changed!! That being said...I didnt want to waste money on postage for all of those other "horrible" people that haven't changed so I am requesting RSVP's via Facebook, email ,and phone. And when it comes down to crunch time...Im gonna hand out numbers to those I haven't heard from out to my bridal party and between all of us calling maybe a handful of people we will get the job done...tacky???..perhaps but smart...... I think so!!!!

keeponbelievin

BTW- I know that you are talking about RSVPs, and I was referring to why I was using facebook/e-mail as a backup. Same idea. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do, and if that is what works to gather the information, do it. I'm sure you have enough to do with all of the other planning .  Use what works for you! Why reinvent the wheel?

jessicadebra

I've actually used facebook myself for one missing RSVP.  Though I did hesitate too.  My final reasoning was:
1. it is rude not to return the card or email (since I even included that as an RSVP option on the invitations for those too techy to bother snail mailing something, or for those who tend to lose things =0)
2. I messaged her on Facebook rather than being so tacky as to post a message to her wall, so only she and I would know (and I only messaged her, not a group of people in the same message). 
3. Although I have her phone numbers, she is rarely home and I felt it worse to bug her at work than to send a Facebook message 4. she's on Facebook frequently and that method generates an email as well, so it seemed a good way to reach her
So I'm in the group that thinks Facebook is a practical tool, but should be used only when it's truly the best option for reaching that person. 
I also worded the message as "I hope the invitation to our wedding arrived safely ...".