Unwanted guest

chefhatt

Help! I have an old friend from high school that refuses to take the hint that she's not invited.
 Just a little back ground on the situation. We were best friends in high school but drifted apart once collage rolled around. We kept in touch a little but our freindship was not the same as it was in high school. I speak to her maybe once a month and all other communication is through facebook posts.
 I have explained to her that my wedding is family only and that my fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. Her response was "well if I dont get an invitation I'll just crash, I know where the reception is" I am serious about this, she was not being sarcastic. She is very dramitic and a little unstable. I don't know what to do. 

DramaGeek

Let your venue know your concern.  They should be able to keep an eye out for her and handle it should a situation arise.

futurepivko

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guest-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6997d7ed-a173-4e0a-a39a-e3531932f1dbPost:cb020741-1eed-4657-ac9c-1a1b39f2bb92">Unwanted guest</a>:
[QUOTE]Help! I have an old friend from high school that refuses to take the hint that she's not invited.  Just a little back ground on the situation. We were best friends in high school but drifted apart once collage rolled around. We kept in touch a little but our freindship was not the same as it was in high school. I speak to her maybe once a month and all other communication is through facebook posts.  I have explained to her that my wedding is family only and that my fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. Her response was "well if I dont get an invitation I'll just crash, I know where the reception is" I am serious about this, she was not being sarcastic. She is very dramitic and a little unstable. I don't know what to do. 
Posted by chefhatt[/QUOTE]

i would talk to her and explain that it is family only, and you are sorry and you are happy she wants to be included, but its just not feasible. then DO NOT talk anymore wedding with her.

the day of, have someone on the lookout for her, and can remove her from the reception in a calm manner

badkittyct

This is why we don't post wedding stuff on FB,

I agree with the PPs who said to let the venue know about your concern and let them deal with it.

chefhatt

Thanks for the tips. We have been keeping almost all of the planning details off face book since we wanted a small wedding. I think its probally going to be a tough chat with this girl but lets hope it goes well.

nurse.misty

I'm just curious, if she was never invited in the first place how does she know where/when the reception is? Agree with PP though. Definitely keep all wedding related things off of FB. Good luck talking to the girl.

chefhatt

my fiancee posted a few vitals to a friend from college

Aimee8314

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guest-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6997d7ed-a173-4e0a-a39a-e3531932f1dbPost:9b404da4-e11e-4491-9e36-c56c65d8a86c">Re: Unwanted guest</a>:
[QUOTE]my fiancee posted a few vitals to a friend from college
Posted by chefhatt[/QUOTE]

Is this friend invited then?  So, it's not just family?  Good luck getting her to accept that "it's just family" excuse then.  She's out of line for asking for an invite (or assuming); however, you kind of brought it on yourself.  Do you think she'll do something awful at the wedding if she's invited?  Personally, if you'll be more worried about her crashing and causing a scene than just inviting her (if you think she'll behave)  I would invite her.  The last thing you want to do is worry about her causing trouble if she's upset about not being invited.  it sounds like she wants to celebrate with you - it will probably be easier to let her.  I promise you'll notice her less that way than if you have to worry she'll show without an invite.

chefhatt

The friend from college is not invited, he was just curious because he is getting married around the same time. He and his fiance needed ideas. Since then we have been using e-mail to talk wedding.
We have thought of just inviting her, but we have friends that we are closer with that aren't getting invitations. And she is the kind of person that anounces every detail on FB.