Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Yes is yes andn now Im stuck

After sending my Save the Dates a friend (who through our discussions) had me to believe he was in a committed relationship. He asked if I would allow him to bring his gf.
Fast forward as I prepare to address the invites I ask her full name and he says they are no longer together and he doesnt know who will be coming with him.
I have other single friends I would love to invite.
I feel like my "yes" to a date for him stands so I have to address the invite to plus one. Is this correct?
Also I have some friends in on again off again relationships and I dont know what to do about them?

Re: Yes is yes andn now Im stuck

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    aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    What exactly did you say on the STD? And guest? Or this girls name?
    Lizzie
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    From the info you provided, it seems like your invitation was directed towards his GF at the time and not a random guest. So I think you are okay to invite him alone unless he does get a GF before then.
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    aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Oh and as to your friends in the on-again off-again relationships -- we can't be talking about too many right? I would call them right as you're addressing the invites and ask them if they're currently on-again.
    Lizzie
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    If you don't want to invite random people (on and off romances/relationships) you should not feel obligated to do so.
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    Well the save the date was address to him . He asked if he could bring a date after talking about the gf. I feel like Im obligated because I said he could have a date now I cannot dictate who right?
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    I think if he's single now you don't have to give him +1 if you are not giving other singles a +1.  Otherwise you're going to have other single friends mad that this one got a +1 and they did not.  The yes I feel like was to him and his gf, if the gf is no longer in the picture than it no longer applies.

    Hmm... on again/off again I don't know the etiquette, but I think I would probably invite them with the specific person (not just "and guest" but put to X and Y on the invite) and let them choose whether they are on or off on that time.  Of course you run into the same potential problem you have with this guy that they might respond with another person in place of who you invited them with, but then I think that's their wrong doing and you can call and tell them that it's just for them then. 
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    I feel like Im rescinding his plus one and I have lots of single friends I would love to see there.

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    No, I didnt give any truly singles plus ones. Only people in relationships. No one the other singles even asked about a date.
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    I went through this with a friend. I invited her and her bf, she then told me she'd broken up with the bf but would be bringing a random friend. I just told her that since we didn't have space to invite everyone with a +1 we'd only invited SOs of people in relationships, and I didn't think it would be fair to our other single friends if she brought a friend.
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    LuluP82LuluP82 member
    First Comment
    I think you can tell him that you'd obviously have welcomed a gf, but if he's now single, then he doesn't get a +1. Say that no one else who's single gets one.

    When H and I had been dating only a little while, he got a STD addressed to him. It was an out of town wedding, so he called the groom to clarify that he'd able to bring me, so we could make travel arrangements. The guy said yes, so we went to the wedding. I think it's the same situation here--by the time the invites came around, then sent it to H and me by name, like you were trying to do.

    But don't hold your breath that none of your single friends will try to bring a date. We clearly addressed invites to truly singles to them only, no and guest, and we had 4 ppl who wrote in 2 coming and then said they'd let us know the date's name closer to the wedding...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    LuluP82LuluP82 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_yes-yes-andn-now-im-stuck?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6ab3c56a-3182-4446-9db1-18a2afe95d45Post:b60c4817-5334-4245-80d3-835d43e22c77">Re: Yes is yes andn now Im stuck</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went through this with a friend. I invited her and her bf, she then told me she'd broken up with the bf but would be bringing a random friend. I just told her that since we didn't have space to invite everyone with a +1 we'd only invited SOs of people in relationships, and I didn't think it would be fair to our other single friends if she brought a friend.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    Great minds emily. but you're quicker than me.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    I told him that we were only giving plus ones to people in relationships. I have been in a place where I RSVP'd for just me and then SO became free but I still went alone as I dare not bother the hostess at the last minute. 

    Im not even going to anticipate a problem. I just wanted to make sure I was ACTUALLY right this time. LOL

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