bartenders/tipping etiquette

packlite

Hi everyone, so we are having an open bar at our reception, and we had two choices to either pay x amount for the bartenders in advance OR set out a tip jar and have pay the difference of whats collected in tips vs x amt at the end of the night.  we opted for choice one and just paid the money in advance as we don't want our guests to feel they have to pay for anything that night. 

so does the bartender still have the tip jar out in case people want to to tip him or should it not be out at all since we have covered the requested amount already?

im thinking it should not be out at all...not a major deal, but wanted to ask your thoughts.

[Deleted User]

I have only seen the tip jar out if it is not an open bar. But then again, I haven't been to a ton of weddings either. And most I have been to were cash bar for mixed drinks and what not.

AmoroAgain

He shouldn't have it out, and let's hope that people are told they don;t have to tip.

packlite

thanks ladies   i agree it shouldnt be out and am going to request it, but wanted your opinions also.

yma1624

Yes. He should not have it out. If it's open bar then people shouldn't be expected to be carrying cash around anyway. :-)

kristinanddan

He shouldn't have it out. Some people will tip anyway though.

[Deleted User]

It should not be out because that looks like the bartender is looking for tips. If someone chooses to leave a tip anyway, that's their prerogative.

loop0406

I don't want to see a bartender tip jar at our wedding, I think that's tacky. Our venue added gratuity to our contract for bartender since we requested no tip jar.

LuluP82

What everyone else said. No tip jar. Some people will tip anyway...I don't think you need to stop them, or anything.

packlite

yep i dont think we can really stop people from tipping, but i dont want a jar out so people think that tipping is expected - same with valet.

temerityjane

Our venue charges a very high % service charge that is split between the waitstaff and bartenders and stuff. I don't expect to see tip jars out. If there are, I'll ask that they be removed.

hstew23

I just thought of this over the weekend. We are paying 20% on top of the bartending fee for Tip. This is written in our contract and we didn't have a say and was told that they put it in every contract. I had a walk through of the venue on Sat and sure enough before the event had even started they had a tip jar out with "starter tips" in the jar. I was upset by this - if i have already paid the tip - well in advance then you shouldn't be asking for anything from my guests.

So I guess my question is - will the venue listen to me when I tell them it's not acceptable?

hstew23

I just thought of this over the weekend. We are paying 20% on top of the bartending fee for Tip. This is written in our contract and we didn't have a say and was told that they put it in every contract. I had a walk through of the venue on Sat and sure enough before the event had even started they had a tip jar out with "starter tips" in the jar. I was upset by this - if i have already paid the tip - well in advance then you shouldn't be asking for anything from my guests.

So I guess my question is - will the venue listen to me when I tell them it's not acceptable?

JenO24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bartenderstipping-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b6a953b-2c7c-47ad-9917-745aef2d426fPost:8987dcf3-4ed6-48ea-a7ba-78c2a816f4f3">Re: bartenders/tipping etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]It should not be out because that looks like the bartender is looking for tips. If someone chooses to leave a tip anyway, that's their prerogative.
Posted by schlagetermari[/QUOTE]

THIS - exactly what i was going to say!

TTiger03

hstew23 - Go ahead and ask them to remove the jar.  If you notice it again at the reception you can have someone ask the bartender to remove it.  

It doesn't hurt to ask and point out that you are already paying this.

It really bugs me that they already have "starter tips" in the jar.